Taking a small break from the horrors of current American politics, I want to share a bit of fun news about Warner Bros'. new Blu-Ray release of the classic Cinerama film HOW THE WEST WAS WON. While never one of my favorite films, it certainly has its moments and the John Ford directed sequence is a real standout. But regardless of how you feel about the film, viewing it projected in Cinerama is a completely different experience than seeing it in any other format. It's also an opportunity available only in a few select places in the world. This is due to the Cinerama process itself, which I will now attempt to quickly explain. 

Premiering in 1952 with THIS IS CINERAMA, Cinerama employed three different projectors running simultaneously to create a "wide screen experience" unlike anything seen before. The image was projected on a 146-degree curved screen and the sound pumped through 7 different speakers to add to the feeling of total immersion. In order to do this, the film itself was shot with three different cameras running simultaneously and pointed at slightly different angles. When shown on a Cinerama screen, the alternate angles of each image when placed side-by-side created the illusion of actually being there in the action. 

Sadly, however, the process was incredibly expensive and yielded only a handful of films. For a few years after its demise, some films still carried the Cinerama label (IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD, 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY among them), but these were not shot using the three camera process. 

So what happens when you take a true Cinerama film and try and show it on DVD or video? Well, for one, the seams separating each individual image are clearly visible. And worse than that, when not projected on a curved screen, the image appears to "warp" at the sides. Until recently, this was the only way to view these films at home. But thanks to a new process giddily titled "Smileboxing", Cinerama films can now be seen properly at home. No, it's not nearly the same as witnessing the process in a true Cinerama theater (I've seen it and it IS remarkable), but this gives you a damn good idea what it might be like. Smileboxing is a relatively simple idea: take the sides of the image and distort them to give the illusion that they ARE being projected on a curved screen. In other words, create the curve on a flat surface. The other thing? Try and remove all traces of separation between film strips. While this last part is apparently not perfect (you can still see the seams if you look closely), it is an astounding improvement over any home video version to date. 

Here's an image from HOW THE WEST WAS WON shown in both simple letterbox and then in Smilebox:

And just to give you an even better idea of the grandeur of Cinerama and the clarity of the process, here's a smileboxed frame from SEARCH FOR PARADISE:

The only catch? The Smileboxed version of HOW THE WEST WAS WON is only available on Blu-Ray disc. So if you were looking for that great excuse to upgrade your DVD player, that excuse has just arrived. 

Enjoy.

In any case, I heard it a few times and dug the singles a bit, but it wasn't until I transferred it over to my trusty Sansa and listened to it all the way through at the gym a couple months ago (probably the last time I went to the gym as well) that I realize what a damned fine album it is. It's currently accompanying my coffee, laptop and Ramona J. Pancakes through a lazy Saturday like a sidekick in a samurai movie.

I should probably put on Seven Samurai to make this whole thing complete. Now that's a movie I'd like to watch at the CInerama, though I can't imagine you could find a decent print these days.

1. Many years ago, I was young and foolish. Now, I'm no longer young.
2. Despite no longer being young, people often think I'm much younger than I actually am, although they seldom think I am less foolish.
3. I believe that beer is nature's most nearly perfect food, with pizza a very close second.
4. Approximately 9% of my life to date was spent living and working in France.
5. Sports that I have engaged in moderately seriously during my life include alpine skiing, bicycling, archery and windsurfing; of these I still bicycle occasionally and practice archery a bit.
6. I saw "2001: A Space Odyssey" presented in 70 mm Cinerama on a curved screen at the Glendale Cinerama (reserved seating no less, like a stage show) when it was in first-run theatrical release.

And, as promised, The Rules Of The Meme:

1. Link to the person who tagged you. (Check)
2. Post the rules on the blog. (Check)
3. Write six random things about yourself. (Check)
4. Tag six people at the end of your post. (Check)
5. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. (To be done when this is posted)
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.  (Idem)

I've linked to my tagger, Daryl Cognito, at the top of the post. My taggees are:

1. Maureen Blaseckie, of the most excellent Baba's Beach Podcast
2. Cat, who puts out the wonderful CatFish Show podcast with her husband Bob Goyetche
3. Bruce Murray (nicest guy in podcasting), of the Zedcast podcast
4. The Scarborough Dude, of the one-and-only DiscksnJanes podcast
5. John Meadows, of the quietly brilliant On The Log podcast
6. Sage Tyrtle, of the awesome QN Podcast (formerly Quirky Nomads)

Phew!  Done...  now to post and notify the victims, er, 6 people I would like to know 6 random things about.

Ex-Yugoslav leader Slobodan Milosevic died of a heart attack on March 11, 2006, just before his was to have closed his defence. There was no verdict.

While I believe that the trial was nevertheless important, I realize at the same time that it´s effect is twofold. Either you see him as a criminal politician on trial, or as (still many do) a martyr, a man wrongly accused for the sake of .....?

ARTE is going to broadcast the documentary again on July 30 at 09.55.

Here are some links

• Westminster Wisdom blog on Christoffersen´s documentary
• A story about Milosvic and Holbrooke from the NY Times
• What are the consequences if political leaders defend themself, like Milosevic? explore here

» Direção: Tony Goldwyn
» Roteiro: Paul Haggis
» Gênero: Drama
» Origem: Estados Unidos
» Duração: 115 minutos
» Tipo: Longa
» Trailer: clique aqui
» Site: clique aqui

» Sinopse: Michael tem a vida que sempre sonhou: uma namorada linda que o faz rir, amigos espetaculares e um emprego muito bom. Ele tem a vida tão perfeita que acha que tudo está ficando meio chato e é num desses momentos que ninguém nunca espera, conhece outra mulher. Será que ele vai resistir à tentação? O que vai acontecer com seu relacionamento? E finalmente, quem vai ficar com o último beijo?

Comentário:

Um daqueles filmes que você pré-julga pela capa e pensa que vai ser uma comédia romântica divertidinha, mas nao muito depois do inicio você começa a se sentir tocado pelas questões do filme, que te levam a refletir bastante ao tratar de temas universais como o amadurecimento, a coragem para assumir responsabilidades e a necessidade de se tomar decisões que influenciam o resto das nossas vidas. Em meio a tanta carga de um vez só, sempre aparece o escapeland. No caso a nossa queridíssima Rachel Bilson, a Summer de The O.C.

Frases que marcaram:

"O que você sente é somente problema seu, o que você faz pra pessoa que você diz amar, é o que realmente importa."

"Não importa o amanha..
O importante é o agora "

O site tem bastante coisa bacana, inclusive o soundtrack que tem uma música trilha de The O.C (também) que eu adoro, Imogean Heap - Hide and Seek (Baixem queridos!)

Bom, o filme é lindo, chorei (pra variar). Tá ai a indicação, bom pra quem ta passando pela crise dos 20 (EU Haha)

Bjuboanoite!

The stories around Genghis Khan always fascinated me, but I was a little dubious how they would translate to the big screen. Anyhoo, here's my teeny film review...

Mongol is a look into the early life of the great Khan. From his birth as Termudjin in 1162, and concluding in 1206, when he has conquered half the known world.The film is in the "historical epic" style, illustrating the bleak reality of mongol life, and the harsh existence of a nomadic people.

Termudjin is portrayed as an honourable man, who seeks to lead, but also to inspire. Much is made of his relationship with Borte, who is strong and brave in her own right. So yes, it is more a love story than a strategic battle pic. Having said that, there's certainly loads of action, awesome landscapes, and fight scenes galore. I'm told this is the first of three films - it's a view of history through rose coloured glasses, we'll see if the next two films improve matters or not.

I enjoyed Mongol for the same reasons I enjoy Kurosawa's films, and old-school pics like Lawrence of Arabia - the hugeness, the action almost dwarfed by landscape, attention to detail (as opposed to reliance on truckloads of computery effects), and stunning photography. Actors have pretty reasonable charisma too. Costumes are fabulous, weather effects are suitably dramatic, and there's never a dull moment. Just don't expect anything overly cerebral or brutal. Four stars.

Samurai Fiction is a must-see. Written and directed by Hiroyuki Nakano (whose background is largely music video with MTV Japan ), it is a trippy, laugh out loud experience. This is the guy who brought us Deee-Lite's groove is in the heart video!

Nothing is missing: great use of colour, in-jokes (if you've seen the Kill Bills and the Kurosawa samurai collection,they will be obvious), zany soundtrack, over-acting, ninjas, a rockstar in his first full-length film...It's clear he is a HUGE fan of Akira Kurosawa's work, and knows that folks like Tarantino can't make samurai right cos he isn't Japanese. I mean really!

So thank you Carol and Mark, for a tres wondrous evening. Five stars!

I really want to watch Seven Samurai again now...

There's not much of a unifying theme to this podcast, but there are a healthy number of breaking tracks in the playlist, so I guess calling it the Newcast will suffice for want of anything more inspired.

There's new tracks from the impending singles by Kid Canaveral and The Left Outsides, a good few new bands you've never heard of, a couple of JC's selections for the Toad Records Launch Night and some of the tracks from the sampler that I gave away at the party itself.

There's also the first Recorded and Produced by Toad song in the world: Fearing Lothian by Uhersky Brod.  The band are friends of mine and we used the Toad Sessions recording equipment to put togethera demo for them.  It's the first time I've ever recorded anything, so I presume there must be all sorts of issues with it but, well, you've got to start somewhere.  It's a cracking song, whatever I've ended up doing to it.

So I hope you enjoy this rather disjointed collection of songs, because for all the lack of any real coherence it's a good collection of songs nonetheless.

Toadcast #31 - The Newcast[audio http://media.libsyn.com/media/songbytoad/ToadcastNo31.mp3]

01. Cinerama - Health & Efficiency (03.57)
02. David Cronenburg's Wife - My Ukrainian Girlfriend (12.39)
03. The Ukrainians - Batya (Bigmouth Strikes Again) (16.14)
04. The Lucksmiths - T-Shirt Weather (21.34)
05. Porlolo - There is No I in Athens (26.22)
06. Uhersky Brod - Fearing Lothian (33.17)
07. Sparrow & the Workshop - Grizzly Bear (38.46)
08. The Futureheads - The Beginning of the Twist (43.24)
09. Kid Canaveral - Teenage Fanclub Song (47.11)
10. The Left Outsides - The Third Light (53.15)
11. King Creosote - Ear Against the Wireless (61.34)
12. Eagleowl - Blanket (64.50)
13. Rob St. John - Domino (72.22)
14. Les Enfant Bastard - Plastic Bag (79.27)
15. Dinosaur Pile-Up - My Rock 'n' Roll Demo (85.43)
16. Computer vs. Banjo - Give Up on Ghosts (95.06)

Dancing Lady kan inte riktigt tävla med de stora showmusikalerna helt enkelt för att musikalnumren är usla. Den har som tur är andra kvalitéer; Clark Gable är fantastiskt butter, Frenchot Tone slänger ur sig med sammetsröst löften han inte tänker hålla (tänk att bli lovad något av någon med sådan röst) och Joan Crawford ser lika kåt ut som hon alltid gör i sina filmer före Mildred Pierce. Mer än så kan man väl inte begära av en film?

Dessutom är det Fred Astaires debutfilm.

There's loads more that made me smile - John Lethlean's piece on the stupidity of pre-cooked rice (and the folks who buy it), Janice Breen Burn's hilarious advice for parents who have slapper-dressing daughters...

Thanks so much,
Vetti x

Jag har väntat i fyra år på den här filmen, ända sen Rohmers förra, den fantastiska Triple Agent. Filmen baseras på en fransk roman från 1600-talet, som verkar ha fått stort genomslag och som jag gärna skulle läsa. Den verkar passande för Rohmer att filma, men nu kan jag inte säga mer än att jag är besviken. Trots att den har alla ingredienser som man kan vänta sig av en Rohmer-film (motsättning mellan fysisk och andlig kärlek, missförstånd och slumpens spel) är den styltig, platt och banal. Med andra ord lever den upp till nidbilden av Rohmer.

Det är inte första gången Rohmer gör en extremt stiliserad film i historisk miljö, det mest närliggande exemplet och den film som påminner mest om den här är väl Perceval le Gallois från 1978. Den lyckas ändå rätt bra med vad den förutsätter sig. I den här faller det bara platt och den enda behållningen av filmen är att den har fina naturbilder, schyssta kostymer och snygga unga skådisar.

Allt jag kan säga är att om man ska försöka närma sig Rohmer så ska man inte börja med den här filmen utan nån helt annan, förmodligen är väl det bästa valet klassikern Ma nuit chez Maud från 1969. Rohmer har, om jag ska fortsätta på auteur-spåret, en fingertoppskänsla för mänsklig interaktion en förmåga att gestalta begär och moraliska problem som ofta träffar close to home, så jag hoppas verkligen inte att någon blir avtänd av den här texten, det är inte alls min mening.

För övrigt kan jag starkt rekommendera dubbelavsnittet av det franska programmet Cinéma, de notre temps som heter Eric Rohmer - Preuves à l'appui (Eric Rohmer - In his own defense). Det är en tvåtimmarsintervju där en tjackad Rohmer pratar på som ett upphetsat barn om sina influenser och de tekniker han använder medan en alltmer livstrött Jean Douchet försöker få en syl i vädret. Det är helt enkelt en njutning att se.

Les Amours d'Astrée et de Céladon finns släppt på DVD, liksom intervjufilmen med Rohmer. Kan dock krävas lite trixande för att hitta dem.

Although Cinemascope was the first of the new widescreen processes to hit the screen with the high-profile The Robe in 1953, a rival technology called Cinerama was premiered in September 1952. By using three adjacent 35mm cameras, an extremely wide image could be created. It actually required five projectionists operating three projectors to view these films. Uniquely the image was projected onto large screens that was literally curved. This would provide the viewers with a spectacular, almost three dimensional, image.

Outside of exotic travelogues intended to exploit the Cinerama experience (much like many IMAX films today), only two fiction films were shot in genuine Cinerama: How the West Was Won (1962) and The Wonderful World of The Brothers Grimm (1962). Later films such as 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) were filmed in Super Panavision 70 and then presented in a 70mm Cinerama image rather than the 3-Strip image of the original films.

Well now you can view this fascinating process from the comfort of your own home. How the West Was Won, starring John Wayne, Henry Fonda and James Stewart (above), will be released in a new Blu-Ray edition in August. This will include a special feature known as ‘SmileBox’ which will recreate the curved Cinerama image. This seems to be a simple distortion of the image designed to create the illusion of Cinerama, as in this frame from the SmileBox website:

It will be interesting to see how effective this new stab at old technology is, but it sounds like an admirable attempt to present How the West Was Won as it was originally meant to be seen. Until then you can find more information on Cinerama, including some great stills of film frames, at the highly recommended Widescreen Museum.

För några veckor sedan hittade jag en film om honom, In the Realms of the Unreal av Jessica Yu. Trots Dakota Fannings berättarröst, överraskade filmen mig positivt. Istället för att berätta den något bisarra historien om Henry Darger, och den är bisarr, har Yu valt att utgå från The Realms of the Unreal. Berättelsen står i fokus och den har levandegjorts genom animation av Dargers illustrationer och Darger är mannen i periferin, som den skapande gud han verkar ha uppfattat sig själv som.

Filmen tar inte upp våldet mot flickorna särskilt mycket och det fick mig undra lite på om jag missuppfattade något under utställningen, men det kan ju lika gärna ha varit Magasin 3 som valde att fokusera på det...

Helt klart värt att kika på i alla fall.

Fotbollsfilmen kan delas in tre subgenrer; spelar-genren, supporter-genren och huligan-genren. De två senare känns ofta bara ointressanta, de hade lika gärna kunnat handla om vilken sport som helst. Visst, Fever Pitch är småcharmig, men den amerikanska remaken handlar om baseboll vilket säkert funkar lika bra. Huliganfilmer har nästan gjort det till en princip att inte innehålla fotboll så där finns det inte mycket att hämta egentligen. Kvar är då de filmer som handlar om fotbollsspelare.

Filmer om fotbollsspelare brukar inte heller vara bra. Det som brukar få dem på fall, förutom taskigt manus och sånt, är deras matchsekvenser. De är långsamma, förvirrande och framstår för alla som någonsin spelat fotboll (vilket är större delen av mänskligheten) som enbart idiotiska. Problemet är delvis att fotbollen är en lagsport och det är svårt att kombinera det med en hjältens dramaturgi, vilket leder till att hjälten springer med boll och möts av max tre spelare på vägen på målet. Var de andra 18 spelarna befinner sig vet bara regissören.

Roligare blir det då när man enbart fokuserar på hjälten som i Fußball wie noch nie där sex kameror filmar enbart George Best under en match. Det blir rätt långa sekvenser där han bara står på sin kant och hänger. Inte så action. Även den gjordes det en remake på, Zidane, un portrait du 21e siècle. Det roliga med den filmen är att Zidane i slutet av matchen blir utvisad. Undrar vad de filmar då...

I alla fall. En film har jag sett där de spelar fotboll som på riktigt. Die Elf Teufel från 1927. Som det syns på bilden ovan har de lyckats visa att det finns fler spelare på plan än filmens hjälte Tommy. Dessutom är tempot högt, förmodligen högre än vad tempot var i 20-talsfotbollen, med rena rama MTV-klippningen. Detta är verkligen den enda film där fotbollens fysiska skönhet kommer till sin rätt.

Spännande handling har den också. Tommy är det fattiga arbetarklasslaget "Lindas" stora stjärna. Ägaren till stadens rika lag ser honom ösa in mål och försöker värva honom med pengar och fallna kvinnor. Filmen är regisserad av Carl Boese och Zoltan Korda som senare åkte till England och tillsammans med sin bror (som var gift med den extremt hete Merle Oberon) hade en rätt lyckad karriär där. Tommy spelas av Gustav Fröhlich, Metropolis hjälte och nedan kan ni se motståndarlagets onde kapten.

Tackla inte denna man.

/Danial

Apprently, tonight's episode is about garlic.

Big thanks going out to Mr. Joffa (and his Sage TV gadgetry), who is taping the series por moi!

I filmen sitter en före detta främlingslegionär i Paris och tänker tillbaka på tiden i Djibouti där han och hans kompanivänner övade på att döda snabbt och smärtfritt, där de drack te i solen, där de promenerade runt och tittade på beslöjade flickor, där de simmade i Agnés Godards ömsom blå, ömsom gröna hav, där de finkalibererade sina kroppar med fysiska övningar som ständigt hotade övergå till homosexuella lekar och där de lyssnade på eurodisco på nattklubbarna.

Det hela är förträffligt vackert och sorgligt och gripande och meningslöst och fint.

/Danial

More than 11,000 pages of schedules from Hillary Rodham Clinton's time in the White House were released last week, offering the most comprehensive public record of her tenure as First Lady. In a related story, the Bush administration has announced that it will make public Laura's record as first lady...all three paragraphs.

More than 11,000 pages of schedules from Hillary Rodham Clinton's time in the White House were released last week, offering the most comprehensive public record of her tenure as First Lady. The schedule consisted entirely of Clinton waiting for the phone to ring at three in the morning.

Hillary Clinton has doubled her lead in the Pennsylvania primary polls. Her numbers surged after Clinton promised never to visit the state again if people vote for her.

On Friday, New Mexico governor Bill Richardson endorsed Senator Barack Obama for president. To show she has no hard feelings if elected President, Hillary Clinton promised to appoint Richardson as her Secretary of Screwing People Over When They Need You the Most.

Meg Whitman, the outgoing CEO of eBay, has been named the co-chair of John McCain's presidential campaign. Whitman's first order of business is to explain to McCain what the Internet is.

This week a State Department scandal exploded when it revealed a subcontractor had illegally accessed passport records of Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and John McCain. A quick look into President Bush's passport files showed he hasn't paid a visit to reality in the past eight years.

The fight over Michigan delegates continues with Obama's camp offering to split the delegates evenly, while the Clinton campaign wants to let the January results, in which she won running against nobody, stand. Republicans suggested they decide a winner by which one can survive a night in the woods with Ted Nugent.

David Paterson was officially sworn in as New York's governor on Monday, becoming the state's first black chief executive. Paterson, who is legally blind, was interrupted at several times during his inaugural address with thunderous applause from the excited legislature, who thought they were at a blues concert.

During his first day in office after replacing Eliot Spitzer, new governor David Patterson admitted to having affairs with several women in the past, including one on the state payroll. When confronted by these women, Patterson proclaimed, "I've never seen any of these women before."

In a bid to take over the seat held by Senator Larry Craig, an independent candidate has legally changed his name to "Pro-Life". In response, Craig has changed his name to "Pro-Semen."

In a bid to take over the seat held by Senator Larry Craig, an independent candidate has legally changed his name to "Pro-Life". In an effort to appease both parties, Craig has stated that he will go both ways.

In a bid to take over the seat held by Senator Larry Craig, an independent candidate has legally changed his name to "Pro-Life". Craig has criticized the candidate for his "narrow stance."

In a speech on Wednesday regarding the Iraq war, President Bush said, "The battle in Iraq has been longer and harder than we anticipated." A new poll reveals that Americans feel the same way about his presidency.

Due to heavy storms and major flooding that have pummeled the midwest, President Bush has declared parts of Missouri a disaster. However the response wasn't quick enough for Geraldine Ferraro who complained that "George Bush doesn't care about white people."

A new study finds that the FBI terrorist watchlist is unreliable and out of date. The FBI denied the report, and redoubled its efforts to find Sacco and Vanzetti.

A new study finds that the FBI terrorist watchlist is unreliable and out of date. FBI agents are no longer advised to keep watch for the Redcoats.

A female suicide bomber attacked a group of Shiite worshippers near a mosque in Karbala, Iraq on Monday, killing at least 32 people and wounding 51. The Bush Administration pointed out that the incident is proof of gender equality in Democratic Iraq.

As punishment for China's handling of violence in Tibet, calls have mounted for a boycott of the summer Olympic ceremonies in Beijing. The calls are expected flood in ten-fold once the Olympics committee announces this year's new athletic event: Tibetan Oppressing.

The Coast Guard is reporting that drug runners are using sophisticated submarines to smuggle drugs into the United States from Colombia. The vessels are long, hard, and full of seamen ... and cocaine.

The Coast Guard is reporting that drug runners are using sophisticated submarines to smuggle drugs into the United States from Colombia. The drug runners love the subs because they can carry several buttloads of coke.

The Coast Guard is reporting that drug runners are using sophisticated submarines to smuggle drugs into the United States from Colombia. An investigation also revealed that Quizno's is using toasted subs to smuggle delicious grilled meats.

On Tuesday, Saudi Arabia opened its first ever hotel for women-only. The building was immediately stoned by an angry mob.

On Tuesday, Saudi Arabia opened its first ever hotel for women-only. Unfortunately for the women, the building was a suicide bomber.

On Tuesday, Saudi Arabia opened its first ever hotel for women-only - followed on Wednesday by the greatest Saudi panty raid ever.

Under fire for its handling of missed safety inspections at Southwest Airlines, the Federal Aviation Administration is reviewing the maintenance procedures at all U.S. airlines. The FAA is expected to enforce a new rule that says safety inspectors can't be drunker than the pilots.

On Tuesday, in order to help the struggling economy, the Federal Reserve slashed interest rates. Meanwhile, employees of the Federal Reserve slashed their wrists.

A San Diego judge has ordered Starbucks Coffee to pay back $100 million to its baristas for gratuities shared by supervisors. The coffee giant says it will appeal the judgment, even at the risk of really bad karma.

Elton John will perform a concert in April to raise money for the campaign of Hillary Clinton. Supporters are looking forward to seeing the union of a prominent, influential gay icon...with classic rock legend Elton John.

Among the nominations coming in for the position of Honorary Mayor of Hollywood is Los Angeles icon Angelyne. Angelyne promises to uphold the honor and dignity of the city...on her boobs.

Among the nominations coming in for the position of Honorary Mayor of Hollywood is Los Angeles icon Angelyne. If she becomes Honorary Mayer, Angelyne's first act in office will be the establish the Hollywood Rack of Fame.

Among the nominations coming in for the position of Honorary Mayor of Hollywood is Los Angeles icon, Angelyne. Her supporters say she has more experience doing nothing than any of the other candidates.

According to reports out of Britain, the seven-year marriage between Madonna and director Guy Ritchie is possibly headed for a divorce. Sources say the marriage hit a rocky patch after Madonna finally saw one of Ritchie's movies.

According to reports out of Britain, the seven-year marriage between Madonna and director Guy Ritchie is possibly headed for a divorce. In order to get more money out of the divorce, Guy Ritchie will get a prosthetic leg.

According to reports out of Britain, the seven-year marriage between Madonna and director Guy Ritchie is possibly headed for a divorce. Plans for "Swept Away 2" have already been scrapped.

According to reports out of Britain, the seven-year marriage between Madonna and director Guy Ritchie is possibly headed for a divorce. The two should split amicably, but Madonna is prepared to fight for full custody of her English accent.

According to reports out of Britain, the seven-year marriage between Madonna and director Guy Ritchie is possibly headed for a divorce. The problems began when Madonna realized she no longer feels like a virgin, touched for the very first time.

According to reports out of Britain, the seven-year marriage between Madonna and director Guy Ritchie is possibly headed for a divorce. Madonna reportedly told friends that no man has ever loved her quite like Sandra Bernhardt.

According to reports out of Britain, the seven-year marriage between Madonna and director Guy Ritchie is possibly headed for a divorce. Sources say Madonna feels Guy Ritchie is not British enough for her.

Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus filed papers to legally change her name. The pop star will now be known as Miley Cougar Cyrus.

Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus legally changed her name from Destiny Hope Cyrus, her given name, to the more recognizable Miley Cyrus last week. Cyrus reportedly chose to legally change her name in order to further confuse 10-year-olds.

Fifteen-year-old pop star Miley Cyrus has legally changed her name to "Miley Cyrus," instead of given name of Destiny Hope Cyrus. This contradicts an earlier report that she was legally changing her name to "Off Limits for Three More Years" Cyrus.

Fifteen-year-old pop star Miley Cyrus has legally changed her name to "Miley Cyrus," instead of her given name of Destiny Hope Cyrus. Cyrus plans to change her name back ten years from now when she becomes a stripper.

A representative for "Sex and the City" star Kristin Davis denied reports that she was the woman seen in a sex tape leaked last week on the Internet. However the penis in the sex tape definitely belonged to Kim Cattrall.

A representative for "Sex and the City" star Kristin Davis denied reports that she was the woman seen in a sex tape leaked last week on the Internet. While Davis denies being in the sex tape, she admits being in the City Tape.

Britney Spears has been ordered to pay $375,000 to cover Kevin Federline's attorney fees. K-Fed's attorney fees are so high because, in addition to the child custody case, he is also being sued by the three people who purchased his rap album.

TMZ.com reported last week that Mel Gibson has befriended Britney Spears, hoping to help her through her tough times. Gibson has also befriended her so that he's no longer the craziest person in the room.

TMZ.com reported last week that Mel Gibson has befriended Britney Spears, hoping to help her through her tough times. Gibson was reportedly worried Spears might commit suicide, officially making him the craziest person in the world.

TMZ.com reported last week that Mel Gibson has befriended Britney Spears, hoping to help her through her tough times. In an outpouring of goodwill, Charlie Sheen offered to help her find her underwear.

On Wednesday, a man was found dead on a property owned by Mel Gibson in what appears to have been a suicide. Despite seeing clearcut evidence of the dead body, Gibson still believes it's a myth concocted to create sympathy for the man's family.

In an exclusive interview with Spin magazine, R.E.M. frontman Michael Stipe announced that he was gay. The announcement came as a shock to his fans, who assumed from his lyrics that he was unhappy.

In an exclusive interview with Spin magazine, R.E.M. frontman Michael Stipe announced that he was gay. He added that he had actually disclosed his sexuality twenty years ago in the band's hit song, "It's the End of the Word As We Know It...and I Feel Fabulous."

A poll in Maxim magazine has awarded Sex in the City star Sarah Jessica Parker the title of "Unsexiest Woman Alive." Apparently, Maxim hasn't seen the sex tape of Kristin Davis.

A poll in Maxim magazine has awarded Sex in the City star Sarah Jessica Parker the title of "Unsexiest Woman Alive." Coming in a close second place: Clay Aiken.

Fashion designer Donatella Versace told People magazine that she has seen Halle Berry's newborn daughter and that she "cannot imagine a better looking baby." An angry Tom Cruise immediately scheduled more plastic surgery for his daughter Suri.

Converse has announced it will create a commemorative line of shoes that will feature the late Kurt Cobain's autograph, artwork and writings. Rock critics pointed out that when Kurt Cobain sang "Rape Me", he didn't mean that they should do it to his corpse.

Converse has announced it will create a commemorative line of shoes that will feature the late Kurt Cobain's autograph, artwork and writings. Proceeds from the sale of the shoes will be used to destroy the artwork and writings of Courtney Love.

Converse has announced it will create a commemorative line of shoes that will feature the late Kurt Cobain's autograph, artwork and writings. Also, Courtney Love's autograph, artwork and writings will be featured on a line of crack pipes.

Converse has announced a commemorative line of shoes that will feature Kurt Cobain's autograph, artwork and writings. In response, indoor basketball courts have changed their "No Street Shoes" sign to "No Heroin."

Converse has announced a commemorative line of shoes that will feature Kurt Cobain's autograph, artwork and writings. Plus a little clicker in the shoe's sole tells Courtney Love how much money she makes everytime you take a step.

Converse has announced it will create a commemorative line of shoes that will feature the late Kurt Cobain's autograph, artwork and writings. Converse got the rights by outbidding Nike, who thought Cobain best exemplified their slogan, "Just Do It."

Converse has announced it will create a commemorative line of shoes that will feature the late Kurt Cobain's autograph, artwork and writings. In other news, Forest Lawn Funeral Home has announced a new line of coffins that will prevent celebrity corpses from spinning in their graves.

Converse brand footwear announced this week a commemorative Kurt Cobain tennis shoe, modeled after the very same sneaker pictured in Nirvana singer's famous suicide photo. The shoe company announced that the single star design would be made in a sweatshop and worn by idiots.

Ola Brunkert, drummer for the Swedish pop group ABBA, died last week after an accident at his home in Spain. As a tribute, transvestites around the world have decided to unfurl their tuck-unders at half-mast.

Former ABBA drummer, Ola Brunkert, was found dead on Monday with a slit throat from an apparant window accident. As a tribute to this tragic death, Broadway producers have already started to develop a play based on the accident. "Mamma Mia: The Demon Barber of Sweden"

Former tennis great Monica Seles announced this week that she is starting work on a memoir to be published in 2009. Pete Sampras has also begun writing his memoir, but his own life is so boring he keeps falling asleep while writing about it.

Former ABBA drummer, Ola Brunkert, was found dead on Monday with a slit throat after falling through some glass. Apparently, the back window of his house was Brunkhert's Waterloo.

On Tuesday, the Airbus A380 became the world's largest aircraft to complete a commercial flight in Europe. It then became the largest aircraft to wait on the tarmac for three hours.

On Tuesday, the Airbus A380 became the world's largest aircraft to complete a commercial flight in Europe. It also had the first in-flight movie to be presented in Cinerama.

A Florida public school is investigating claims that a teacher forced her student to use his lunchbox as a toilet in front of his class. However, the soiled lunchbox still contained better food than the school's cafeteria.

A Florida public school is investigating claims that a teacher forced her student to use his lunchbox as a toilet in front of his class. In related news, President Bush has again cut federal funding of school lunches by declaring urine a vegetable.

A Florida public school is investigating claims that a teacher forced her student to use his lunchbox as a toilet in front of his class. In the teacher's defense, it was a Hannah Montana lunchbox.

Amateur hockey has adopted a new zero-tolerance policy on swearing, referee abuse and fighting. Experts hope that the policy will carry over to the NHL so that one day professional hockey will be restored to its former glory...on the Oxygen Network.

Tommy Lasorda made an appearance at what might be the last pre-season game at Dodgertown, the site of the Dodgers' spring training for the last 60 years. The Dodgers will most likely leave Dodgertown next year for a new Arizona based facility called Funkytown.

Tommy Lasorda made an appearance at what might be the last pre-season game at Dodgertown, the site of the Dodgers' spring training for the last sixty years. In order to improve the team's chances, the Dodgers will now be training in Steroidtown.

Spiritual leader Marianne Williamson has claimed her support for Barack Obama, and claims she will not be "voting with her vagina." Ann Coulter, however, confirmed she will still be voting with her penis.

New data shows the inefficiency of the “No Child Left Behind” program as administrators hide severe high school drop out rates. Advocates of the program however point out that said dropouts have more MySpace hits and higher than average scores on Guitar Hero.

A new analysis of Human Growth Hormone shows that using the substance may not enhance athletic performance as it was previously believed to do. Despite the news, many athletes continue to take HGH to help them lie under oath faster.

New data shows that using Human Growth Hormone may not enhance athletic performance as it was previously believed to do. Professional athletes, however, will continue taking HGH to help them lie under oath faster and with greater agility.

New data shows that using Human Growth Hormone may not enhance athletic performance as it was previously believed to do. In response, Trader Joe's will be removing all the Airborne: HGH off it's shelves.

Researchers have shown for the first time that humpback whale calves make sounds. The grunts and squeals the calves make are messages to their mother that annoy all the other whales around them.

A study at Brigham Young University suggests that a happy marriage is good for your blood pressure, but a stressed one can lead to heart disease. In another study, it was discovered that a happy childhood is good for your self esteem, while a bad one can lead to appearing on "Rock of Love" with Bret Michaels.

A study at Brigham Young University suggests that a happy marriage is good for your blood pressure, but a stressed one can lead to heart disease. The study supports the old Mormon adage, "A marriage a day keeps the doctor away."

A Norwegian hospital is equipping newborn babies with anti-theft alarms. When told the news, Angelina Jolie canceled her trip to Norway.

A Norwegian hospital is equipping newborn babies with anti-theft alarms. Next they plan to turn the soft spot on an infant's head into a cup holder.

A Norwegian hospital is equipping newborn babies with anti-theft alarms. Because apparently the crying isn't annoying enough.

Scientists have developed a speaker-recorder system of wolf howls nearly indistinguishable from the real thing to help researchers track the elusive animal. Scientists perfected the technology after working on the latest Mariah Carey album.

Scientists have developed a speaker-recorder system of wolf howls nearly indistinguishable from the real thing to help researchers track the elusive animal. The device is already being protested by feminist groups as sexual harassment.

Scientists have developed a speaker-recorder system of wolf howls nearly indistinguishable from the real thing to help researchers track the elusive animal. The sounds were simulated by having sexy women walk past construction sites.

Scientists have developed a speaker-recorder system of wolf howls nearly indistinguishable from the real thing to help researchers track the elusive animal. The initial research was headed up by Dr. Tom Waits.

British film director Anthony Minghella, whose credits include "The English Patient", "Cold Mountain" and "The Talented Mr. Ripley" died Tuesday at the age of 54. Critics are already saying it was four years too long.

Oscar-winning British film director Anthony Minghella, whose credits include "The English Patient", "Cold Mountain" and "The Talented Mr. Ripley" died Tuesday at the age of 54. Like his films, Minghella's death was long, painful, overdramatic and full of awkward foreign accents.

Arthur C. Clarke, the science-fiction author best known to his novel "2001: A Space Odyssey", died last week at the age of 90. According to his wishes, Clarke's remains will be sent into the past, where prehistoric ape-men will use his bones to club one another to death.

Arthur C. Clarke, the science-fiction author best known to his novel "2001: A Space Odyssey", died last week at the age of 90. Many people found his death hard to understand.

Arthur C. Clarke, the science-fiction author best known to his novel "2001: A Space Odyssey", died last week at the age of 90. Clarke will be buried in a mysterious black rectangle and dug up 100 years from now to confuse an entirely new audience.

Arthur C. Clarke, the science-fiction author best known for his novel "2001: A Space Odyssey", died last week at the age of 90. Clarke's only regret was that he lived to see the actual year 2001 was really lame, although we did have a space cadet for a president.

Arthur C. Clarke, science-fiction author best known to his novel "2001: A Space Odyssey", died last week at the age of 90. A magical monolith is being constructed in his memory, inscribed with his final words: "See you next wednesday...or not".

Filmerna är hyggliga pastischer på 40- och 50-talets svenska pusseldeckare, en genre som kanske främst representerades av Arne Mattson (som Stieg Trenter även skrev ett manus för, Det kom en gäst från 1947) när det begav sig. Karaktärerna är lövtunna, storyn, oftast långsökt och full av hål, samt skådespelet stiliserat och schablonartat. Precis som det ska vara när man ska försöka flirta med lågbudget-noir och whodunnits. Den stora behållningen är att de på ett bra sätt lyckats återskapa en känsla av 40-tal genom kackig studiomiljö och bitvis genomusla biroller. Studiokänslan bryts av enstaka utescener där Stockholm faktiskt är rätt fint, men de lever inte alls upp till den levande Stockholmsskildring som finns i Trenter-böckerna.

Varför det bara kom de här tre filmerna (eller snarare mini-serierna, de är upplagda som två avsnitt) kan man spekulera i. SVT står för produktionen och de har en del kända namn, eller namn som skulle komma att bli kända, på sina rollistor. I Lysande landning passerar till exempel Marie Richardson, Göran Ragnerstam och Peter Andersson förbi i småroller, bland deras första vad jag kunnat förstå. Regissören Pelle Seth som står bakom Träff i Helfigur skulle senare komma att regissera Beck-filmer i första omgången från 1997. Förutom de tre Trenter-böcker som de här filmerna baseras på har han skrivit typ 25 till om Harry Friberg, varav de tiotal jag orkat ta mig igenom har ungefär samma upplägg och handling. De skulle med andra ord passa sig bra för en serie av Beck-mått.

Anledningarna skulle i princip kunna vara hur många som helst, den mest troliga är att de är rätt otidsenliga och går stick i stäv med den samhällskritiska tendens som dominerat svensk polisfilm sen åtminstone Bo Widerbergs Mannen på taket från 1976. Fram till den sista av Trenter på egen hand färdigskrivna boken om Friberg, Sjöjungfrun från 1966, är de sig lika till upplägg och handling. Då hade Maj Sjöwall och Per Wahlöö redan grundlagt den nya typen av 68-vänsterproggiga kriminalromaner som skulle vara stilbildande i Sverige framöver, både inom litteraturen och filmen. De skulle komma att knuffa undan pusseldeckargenren nästan helt och lämna litet utrymme för slutna överklassintriger.

Andra anledningar skulle kunna vara att filmerna floppade på grund av sin ändå rätt undermåliga kvalitet produktionsmässigt och sitt taffliga skådespeleri, men såna petitesser har väl knappast hindra någon i Sverige från att göra snutfilm förut. Har försökt ta reda på hur de mottogs men inte hittat något, tar gärna emot tips om någon har nån aning.

För övrigt finns just de här tre filmerna släppta på dvd. Den fjärde filmen i samma serie, Som man ropar, finns dock inte släppt och jag har endast kunnat hitta den med kass kvalitet.

/John