A little sample for ya'll.

[audio http://themustardseed.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/tobacco-road-release.mp3]

i have 2 classes on monday, sept 8...

first up is my daytime class - SKETCH & CROP, during the first part of the class, i provide you with a sketch and you get to make TWO - 2 page layouts! after you finish those layouts, you are can stay and crop until class is over and i will be available to help you with suggestions and ideas.

then, that evening, i teach PHOTO-FULL. if you like a LOT of photos on your pages, then this class is for you! we do lots of flips, folds, pockets and such to create MORE space for photos!

you get to select your OWN papers for both of these classes, so be sure to bring some photos with you.

then, on saturday, sept 13, from 10:00 to 1:00 i am teaching a RECIPE MINI ALBUM class using the new Bon Appetit line by Teresa Collins! you'll create a 12 page album (6 pages front and back) to display your "specialties of the house"! this would make a GREAT gift item for the holidays!

then from 1:30 to 2:30 i'll be hosting a FREE make & take brought to you by Scrapbook 911 and Reminisce!we'll be making a back to school page topper featuring the new MAKING THE GRADE line!

you can use the topper to create a layout of your own, or you can copy the layout i made using it!

supplies for the make & take are limited, so to ensure you get to make a topper, please call the store to reserve your space! drop in's will be welcome as long as there are enough supplies!

after the make & take, from 2:30 to 5:00, i'll be teaching another class featuring the MAKING THE GRADE line by Reminisce - a FRAME & CHALKBOARD SET. the frame is perfect for displaying either your first day of school photo or school portrait. the chalkboard can document either your child's "favorites" for that year, or the school "facts", teacher, friends, sports, etc. this would make a great teacher gift too! she could add a photo of her class! or, i'm sure any grandparent would love to find this under their tree at Christmas! you will get to select grade specific paper and embellishments!

so, it's gonna be a week chock full of classes! i hope to see you at one of them!

I think I will set a rule for myself: by the end of each Sunday, to have completed all the class readings of the upcoming week.
When I type notes on my computer I use cute colored font because it's less bland to look at. =) I'm also going to write a shorter version of these notes into a notebook to help me memorize them and take to class, so I wonder if I should get pens with a cute color too.

There are somethings that I can accept, and somethings that I find patently offensive.  I have no problem with dissent.  Obviously, I am a dissenter myself.  BUT if you are going to dissent, do it in a classy and respectful way.

You can snark a bit, have a little fun, be a bit sarcastic, throw some jabs, but be classy about it.

The Obot portion of the Democratic party seems to have left class and respect far behind.

Read the rest. He, of Texas Hill Country, has compiled examples of how the Democrats have not maintained any class during this election period. While I was going through it all, it made me sad that the Party I was so happy with for so long could stoop to doing the things they've done.

The horrible remarks about Palin's Downs Syndrome baby and her daughter's pregnancy have truly scraped the bottom of the 'class barrel'. Media, get hold of yourselves... what's up with this kind of awful stuff you're saying?

This week in Civ Pro we have to act like lawyers again, in our fifth DAY of law school. Now, before I proceed with a mild complaint, I will say, everyone I have talked to has gushed about this professor. I know he is fabulous and unorthodox. He's very funny, and I got a very good impression from the short time I have heard him speak. However, that doesn't make me any less terrified for his class.

I mean, couldn't we start having to act like lawyers after we know one or two laws? Or after two weeks of classes maybe?

What threw me happened during the first class, when we split into small groups and had to role play with an older student as if we were an attorney. I was taken totally off-guard. I didn't realize we would be doing this exercise, had already endured several hours of mind-numbing class that day, and completely lost words and brain function. I laughed awkwardly (more than once) and had nothing to say, and no one in my group laughed along, they just looked at me like I was an idiot. So, that was kind of annoying, because it was, after all, our second day of law school, and it seemed hilarious, to me anyway, for us to role play as though we were lawyers.

The worst part, however, was that the other people in my group all sounded like lawyers! How the hell? Well, I think I may know. Their parents are lawyers, or they deal with the law for their full-time job. I was sitting next to a classmate eating lunch when she took a call from her dad the other day. I couldn't help but hear the conversation, and it was extremely obvious her father was a lawyer. She later told me there are tons of lawyers in her family. Then I remembered that another of my well-spoken section mates said both his parents are lawyers. And how another has a job working extensively with law. Comforting? Not really.

So, it's not just that law school is all new to me, it's that the whole world of law is new to me. I have been racking my brain trying to think of anyone I knew before say, last year, that is an attorney. I don't think I have a single family member, not even an in-law or a second cousin or a great uncle, who is or was an attorney. I can't even think of a friend who has an attorney parent. I can't think of a neighbor or someone I knew from church either. Nor can I think of any time in my life that anyone in my family dealt with an attorney (besides divorce) that I knew anything about. Yes, I have some knowledge about immigration law, but that means jack when you are talking about criminal, torts and civil procedure.

And, so I digress. I don't want to sound whiny or like I feel sorry for myself. I'm still excited about school, and so far it's pretty good. It's definitely not boring. But more challenging and intimidating than I thought, absolutely.

I'll still check the blog from time to time and respond to posts, but I doubt very seriously I will be post anything new for a while...maybe Christmas I might update it a bit.

I am sorry folks.  You all have been most wonderful and friendly and inviting.  As a future teacher, you welcomed me into your world of teaching and I felt (and feel) a part of it.  I've learned a lot from each of you and hope to continue that learning process.  This was one of the reasons I started this blog.  But if I can't contribute more to your blogs (via comments, etc), I don't feel right.

I do wish things were different and I could.  Maybe once I graduate or things change I can rejoin this wonderful band of bloggers.

Creative Writing is both exciting and frightening at the same time because I love the exercises we do to practice concepts of writing and it is fun to discuss short stories, however, I am not of the personality to boldly state my opinion on literature in a room full of people who at least by the way they present themselves, know more than I do. But something interesting happened in this, my second attempt at one of these discussion type classes. . . I started talking from the first day. I know, it's shocking, but true! I started forming opinions and lo and behold they were different from my classmates! I know I'm in the English department but I don't like to believe that every artist must walk the halls starving and with a permanent cloud of gloom over their head. It's very reminiscent of Eeyore. So this class is a success; the Professor is lovely.

French is . . . well it's French. If, by the grace of God, I have the resolve to stick to it this semester, it should not be too bad.

I have not had Children's Literature yet but I am expecting good things. I've already finished the first book and our Professor seems quite knowledgeable. It's a Monday night class and we haven't had a Monday night yet.

So altogether, quite a positive beginning. God certainly does work in mysterious ways for I am now back where I started as and English major with a Linguistics minor; however, what I wish to do with my degree is vastly different and far less introspective. I suppose it took running to the college of natural science, then Pharmacy, and of course Brain surgery, and then English with a Biology minor to finally get me on the track that He desires for me.

Have a wonderful day!

2. Work on the continuous drafting. Watch to insure you aren't releasing your measuring hand resulting in pinch and push techniques.

3.  Keep the draft zone under tension.  Allowing a 'loose' draft zone can result in a very woolen looking yarn.  Tension keeps the fibers parallel, giving a smoother surface  to your yarn.

4.  Find harmony with your wheel.  If you aren't comfortable with your wheel, or your sitting position, height of orifice, etc, your yarn will reflect this.

5. When spinning a single, it should spin back on itself when allowed to drape.  It isn't spun too tightly just because it does.  As a matter of fact, look at what it looks like when it plies back on itself.  If it looks like a yarn that you want, then you are probably putting enough twist in it.

6.  Don't consider your homework WORK.  If you enjoy spinning, your homework should be about 20% of what you spin this week.  Spin 20 min, and if you are frustrated, take a break and come back to it.  Almost without fail, beginning students say that walking away from their spinning and returning an hour or more later makes for an improvement in their yarn.

homework was to spin a bobbin of singles, and to then navajo ply it.

7Sorry, Make that #1. Have Fun!  It will reflect in your yarn.

For me, a reminder of what some of you want to do in this class:

1. Work with flax, bamboo, and camel

2. Charkha

3. Wool combs and worsted spinning

4.  Saxony wheel

5.  Plying

6.  Learn to asses the quality of yarn produced, and analyze problems/issues

If I haven't covered everything, or if you want something added, please e-mail me

maidensweaver at earthlink dot net   or leave a comment on this blog.

Cherri

Hope everyone made it home safely. And I'll see you next week.

h/t Jed and Kyle Moore (via IM) for the vid

Heckuva job: The NY Times reports that the US unemployment rate hit a 5 year high this week, and is now on par with Canada's for the first time since 1982 (ppsh, that's nice -- hey, check out McCain's prime time numbers!):

The August jobs report seemed to suggest that the deterioration in the economy is accelerating. The unemployment rate has risen 1.4 percentage points over the last year and is now at its highest level since September 2003, when the economy was just beginning to emerge from a jobless recovery.

What’s more, those who swelled the unemployment rolls last month were adults, many over the age of 45, and not teen-agers, who were the main contributors to the jump in unemployment in May, when the rate rose to 5.5 percent from 5 percent in April. The nearly 600,000 people added to the unemployment roles in August included almost as many college graduates as those with only a high school degree.

Manufacturing companies shed the most jobs last month, 61,000, mostly at auto plants and in housing-related industries. There were also sharp cutbacks in the use of temporary workers, and across most of the work force hourly and weekly wages once again failed to keep pace with inflation.

The McCain campaign's thoughtful strategic response to this latest economic body blow?

Piss on the legs of the working and middle classes and call it rain:

Hoping for a poll bounce out of the Republican convention at St Paul, Mr McCain, accompanied by Governor Sarah Palin, his vice-presidential running mate, hit the campaign trail in Cedarburg, Wisconsin, with a populist message.

"John McCain doesn't run with the Washington herd," Mrs Palin said, introducing the Republican nominee.

Mr McCain declared: "It's over. It's over. It's over for the special interests. We're going to start working for the people of this country."

He mentioned the jobless figures and said that these were "tough times" for Americans and promised to "stand on your side and fight for you", cutting government spending and opening up new markets abroad. He vowed to "shake up Washington and get things done for you".

The McCain campaign has dubbed their new tour, through many economically deprived areas, as the "Change is Coming" tour.

Yep, nothing boosts voter confidence and stirs the soul quite like hollow rhetoric ("Shake up Washington!" "We're going to start working for the people of this country!") from shameless political shills cynically and contemptuously treating the whining electorate like dolts unable to read between the lines of their monthly credit card statements.

"Change is coming"?

My angry black ass.

Charles Krauthammer (!) nails it:

The Republican brand is deeply tarnished. The opposition is running on "change" in a change election. So McCain gambled that he could steal the change issue for himself -- a crazy brave, characteristically reckless, inconceivably difficult maneuver -- by picking an authentically independent, tough-minded reformer. With Palin, he doubles down on change.

The problem is the inherent oddity of the incumbent party running on change. Here were Republicans -- the party that controlled the White House for eight years and both houses of Congress for five -- wildly cheering the promise to take on Washington. I don't mean to be impolite, but who's controlled Washington this decade?

Gee, damn good thing this election isn't about the issues (nor, apparently, accountability).

Recommend this post at Progressive Bloggers

After the gathering Britta and Ingrid went to SNerikes to dance and such, while Miriam, Judith and myself went back home.  They live in Rackersbergatan (sp?) so they waited by the bus stop with me until my bus came, which I thought was nice <3  Both of them are super nice girls, and I can't wait to hang out again haha~ Miriam is from Germany and Judith is from Austria, so both of them somehow made me remember junior year of HS and our trip to Germany and Austria. Fun times~ :) Fun sober times. Haha.

Jumping ahead a bit, on Wednesday I ran into Suyin and Per in the street.  Both of them are in my class so we chatted for a few minutes and exchanged emails, numbers, and all that fun stuff!  It was funny when I got home, Suyin and I talked on MSN as if we've known each other for years haha~  So, the next day we all sat together in class and Suyin invited us to go get fika with her friends, sadly Per couldn't come, but I went! :D  So I met her friends: Peter (who reminds me of Jim!) and Jenny~  They were so welcoming and I didn't feel awkward at all, I really really enjoyed hanging out with them!  Suyin paid for my cake, since they all insisted that I eat haha~ And ice cream is free with cake! I was so surprised! I'm really happy I met Suyin, it's almost like she's adopted me haha~ I'm her little international student loool! We made plans to go over to Peter and Lisa's (Peter's girlfriend) apartment for a BBQ the next day (Friday).

After much talking and amusing stories, Suyin had to catch the train (or was it bus?) back to Stockholm and I walked back to Flogsta with Jenny and Peter since they live in the little apartments under the tall buildings I'm in.  Peter took us through the scenic route, so we went through little neighborhoods and such that I hadn't seen before. It was so pretty!  When we got to Flogsta they told me to continue up a path since they were at their apartments.  Aaand I trusted them so I did, and I ended up coming in through an enterance near building 12 and 13, I didn't even know there was an enterance there!

Anyway! Yesterday was the "BBQ" that didn't really happen haha.  Suyin told me ahead of time that it was just going to be goofing off and movie times (which is fine with me!) so I ate some oatmeal; lost track of time and was like 10 minutes late meeting her at the ICA. @_@ I really shouldn't start talking to Jonatan in the kitchen when I'm on limited time. Haha~ I always tend to drag him into convos that amuse me. XD

So, we bought some candies at the ICA.  I found out the night before that Suyin really likes red vines, I had no idea what that was so I google'd it and it's just TWIZZLERS.  Little does she know my mom loves those as well, so maybe mom can send up a package and I can give her some haha~  She also liked some other candy, but I can't remember what it was.  I just know twizzlers was one of them.  Anyway, she got some candy rope and I got some Ahlgrens Bilar, which are candy cars...I guess they're marshmallows (nothing like marshmallows though!) and a CHOCOOOLATE bar with some m&m like candies inside.

Then we walked over to Peter and Lisa's apartment.  I was so amazed when I walked in! I'm so used to seeing crappy looking student housing things, very bland and very basic, but their apartment looked like a real home.  I can't really describe it, but it felt SO nice because it seemed like a home...where you know people live.  Haha that sounded kind of redundant, but whatever.  We had some blueberry muffin flavored coffee (yeah you heard me! It wasn't too bad, It smelled like blueberries but the taste wasn't very blueberry like haha) and we watched Music & Lyrics first.  After that we watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, or is it Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Whichever the new one is with Johnny Depp!  I realized while watching that it could have been so much better if at least ONE time they would do the original Oompa Loompa song!

After that we watched a bit of Conan O'Brien and Jay Leno! :O  They weren't super new, but only maybe about a week old! I was so surprised to see them on tv, with swedish subtitles haha~  We all talked a bit, and there may be a trip to Scotland in the future!  Lisa lived there for 3 months so she said she could show us all around~  I'm surprised they're letting me in on this if they do it. :o  It would be so much fun!!

I had come to Glasgow to visit Sally Macintyre, a social scientist who has studied health in Scotland for twenty years. She is part of a growing number of people who are concerned about early death among the poor in industrialized countries, where obvious health hazards such as inadequate sanitation, malnutrition, and infectious diseases, which kill millions in the developing world, are relatively unimportant. Unlike such traditional diseases of poverty as malaria and cholera, which can kill in days, Macintyre sees the poverty of the industrialized world as a sort of chronic disease that slowly eats away at the body throughout life.

I am not a believer of dialectics. Loosely used, it means the art of argumentation or debate, but it is customarily used in one of its more restricted sense. In classical literature it refers to the tradition of continuing debate or discussion of eternally unresolved issues such as "beauty versus truth" or "individual versus the state".

Or "rich versus poor".

Possibly because the academe cushions me from the last dialectic, I am spared from the drudgery of the realities outside. For inside the academe it is not the content of my bank account that matters more but how much gray matter my cranium contains, the breadth and depth of my understanding of all the different truths trying to outdo each other in the bigger scheme of things.

This dialectic, no matter how hard it is for me to grasp, is glaring. So glaring that it forces itself beyond the perimeter that contains it.

Just recently, by chance, I visited a Multiply site of a young man from Iloilo who happens to be a member of one of the more prominent families in that average-sized city in central Philippines. He posted a montage of wedding scenes.

Interesting, I thought. There were beautiful people garbed in rather opulent fashion. The ladies were posing their best smiles while wearing their red dresses possibly designed by a couturier from Manila. The men were equally handsome in their jackets and ties notwithstanding the hot and humid September sun.

The wedding was set in a white mansion owned by the Lopezes, another prominent family in Iloilo; the mansion and its wide garden is often used for weddings of the sons and daughters of rich families in Iloilo as well as movie stars in Manila. It must be noted that the mansion is found in the middle of the city, just beside a major thoroughfare.

When I was still studying in Iloilo, whenever the public transportation I was riding in passed by in front of the mansion, I never failed to question the logic behind the decision of building a mansion right in front of a poor neighborhood side by side a crumbling used-to-be commercial area. But probably, the poor neighborhood and the nearly destitute state of the surrounding buildings serve as foils for the mansion. Beauty, if we go back to dialectic, is affirmed when anything ugly, despicable, or vile surrounds it such as poverty.

Going back to that almost perfect wedding scene, the montage was a blow by blow account of the wedding and some incidental scenes before the wedding. According to the person who posted it, the photos were not official for the ones taken by the photographers will soon flood the society page of the local paper. Interesting I thought, and rather ostentatious, if I may add.

Iloilo brags itself to be the place of origin of the richest family in the Philippines who owns a media empire, a power corporation that supplies electricity for the entire of Metro Manila area, and real estates, among others.

In addition, there are lesser known families who consider themselves to belong in the upper class. Most of these rich families, originally, were owners of sugarcane plantation during the beginning of the 20th century that amassed enough capital to diversify their investments. Now, despite the death of the sugarcane industry, they remain in the higher echelon of the social strata comprising the social elites of the city.

The distinction between the old rich and the nuoveau riche is not as much evident as the amount of wealth that they have, as some nouveaux riches have far more assets than the old rich families in Iloilo. That man who posted the montage of photos, I think, captured the right word for that distinction: Class.

What then is class? It's a refinement in taste, culture, manner, even language. It can never be acquired, if my theorizing is correct, for one has to be born with it. Ascribed, as social scientists say it.

My bohemian lifestyle in the academe, a far cry from this certain 'class' that that blogger wrote with so much class is far from the kind of class I expect from someone who prided himself to belong to an old rich family.

The nouveaux riches, being the subject of the constant ridicule by the old rich, are deemed too loud, garish, showy of their newly acquired wealth. Whereas members of the old money tend to be less tacky, more subtle, classy. They let their snobbishness speak for itself including all the possible meanings and subtexts that can be attributed to this unusually elevated chin.

But looking at the montage, it appears to me that the distinctions, the line that separates these two entities are blurring. This old rich family ostentatiously paraded its wealth, with class, the exact word that blogger used. Allowing a full view of the passing pedestrian, decrepit public transportations, and the poor neighborhood to behold. A panorama of beauty amid poverty.

A perfect dialectic.

True enough. A perfectly orchestrated wedding, done with all possible ‘class' an old rich family in Iloilo can muster, in the rented palatial white mansion surrounded by the peering members of the other end of the dialectic is very classy I must say.

And scandalous, if I may add.

Yesterday and today, I got to all of my classes just fine.  Now that I've gotten to know my classes and teachers, I'll list them here if anybody wants to know what I'm taking.

Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays:

CHEM105: General College Chemistry, 8am, Professor Wood.  Professor Wood is a bit eccentric but really nice.  He knows how to entertain sleepy college students like me :P
ENGL150: Writing and Rhetoric, 9am, Ms. Olds.  Or, Janci, as she likes to be called.  She's a senior at BYU and really casual.  It's nice being able to write in a casual, stress-free environment.
CS142: Intro to Computer Programming, 10am, Professor Burton.  Professor Burton knows a LOT about computer science, and questions are encouraged.  I think this is the class I'll have the most fun in.
MATH343: Elementary Linear Algebra, 2pm, Professor McKay.  Despite the dry nature of most of the things we go over in this class, Professor McKay always manages to fit humor into his lectures.  He reminds me of Mr. Reisner at high school.

Tuesdays and Thursdays:

CHEM105: 9am.  Same class as the last CHEM one, but we do labs here.
RELA121: The Book of Mormon, 12pm, Professor Benzely.  This class reminds me of seminary class... Professor Benzely knows a lot about the historical backrounds of events in the Book of Mormon.  I'm going to learn a lot in this class.

So, those are my classes.  I've been busy lately because my Mom and McKenna is coming over on Saturday, and I want to make sure I've got all my homework for this weekend done before Saturday afternoon.  We might be going to Tucano's. :D

Oh, and I forgot to take pictures of the old Cannon Center, sorry.  I'll remember to take pictures tomorrow.

P.S. I almost forgot to mention, our FA group got together with our chemistry professor and made liquid nitrogen ice cream today.  How he did this was mix all the ingredients together in a salad bowl then adds a lot of liquid nitrogen and stirs.  Liquid nitrogen is -321 °F, so it freezes the ice cream mix instantly.  If you have no idea what I'm talking about, here's a video (the video isn't mine, it's somebody else's) showing the process (if you can't play the video, you'll have to install Quicktime... make sure you pick the version that doesn't come with iTunes).  It's cool, not only because it makes the best tasting and smoothest ice cream you'll ever have, but it's a liquid gas!

I don't know, at least I think it's cool. :P

Gym class for me means changing, listening to the "coach" (although he's really not a coach) mumble through whatever we're doing that day (the more he talks the more stupid he looks, yet he keeps on talking) and then i stand around with my freinds for the whole period.  sometimes when we play football we just walk around on the field.  i mean, you'd think we sound like losers, the gym class nerds, but we're not alone.

i'm a senior in high school so i've completed three years of (actual) gym class.  i can't honestly say i've sweet once.  i've come back in soaking wet, because according to the teacher, a little rain never hurt anybody.  i guess according to the gym teacher there's no such thing as chafing. 

not only do they make us go to gym class, but my school makes it a graduation requirment!   they try to pass of that excuse for a class as something useful, like i'm getting something out of it.  like learning the rules of football is so important that i can't graduate without it.

people laugh at the ones who fail gym.  "how can you fail gym?" obviously it istn' hard, based on what i've already written, but the truth is, your grade depends on your willingness to bring, and change into, gym clothes.  if you forget to bring them five times, you fail.  you have to take gym in the summer.  so first they tell us that gym is a graduation requirment, pretending that we get something usefull out of it, but then they say, really the only thing you have to do in gym is change into a pair of shorts.  seems a little hypicrytical to me.

the sad thing is, when budget cuts come around, the first programs to get cut are music, drama, art, bassically anything that requires creative thinking.  because running around a track is more important.  put the crayons away, turn your brain off, practice hard ss oyou can become a professionaly athlete and earn millions and millions of dollars that you don't deserve. (sure, you agree they shouldn't get paid so much, but you don't turn them off.  i told my dad i'd boycott professional sports because i don't agree with the amount they get paid, he said, "yeah me neither"  obviously not, mr. 'i have to watch my game every sunday and if you annoy me i'll ground you for a year,' yeah, you agree with me.)

Gym is hurtful to a lot of people too.  the fat ones.  the ones who have to take off they're baggy clothes to tell the whole world they're a few pounds over weight.  i guarentee gym is not helping them lose those pounds.  it's just making them feel bad about them, it lowers their self esteem. 

i just hate it so much that not only is gym such a joke, but it's a joke that's a graduation requirment, while creative thinking classes are thrown out.  they're implying that physical activity is more important than engaging your mind.  that if your over wieght, it's a problem you have to fix or you'll lose out.  "stop engaging your mind and rund around the track, because if you're fat, you're worthless."  and that is why i refuse to take any gym class, gym teacher, or athletic program seriously.

and i WON'T watch professional sports.

I need to find someone to hang out with tonight! I am going to be so bored.

On Sunday Auntie Val and Darren are coming up to see Body Works, and are going to pick me up. I'm so excited that I'm gonna be able to see the Smiths more that I'm living up here in Edmonton.

On another note, Maureen and I (a girl I met in my Reporting I class) established that 90's Disney movies are the best. Fo Sho,

[C]onception is a very arbitrary starting point. You do know that sperm and eggs are technically alive, right? It's an interesting fact about this world that nothing alive can come from something dead; life can only come from something else that is still alive. So why is the joining of the sperm and the egg the magical moment if the only criteria is that there is life?

According to your logic, then, we should protect sperm and eggs as if they are actual human lives. Women and men should be constantly having unprotected sex so that we can avoid the tragic holocaust of the body flushing out unused and/or unimplanted eggs. And of course that also makes masturbation totally out of the question for men. In fact, if a woman dies before she has reached menopause, or a man dies without ejaculating all of the sperm he has created since the last time he had sex, we should save those sperm and eggs, and put them in as many fertile women as possible so that they have the chance to continue to live too. Women whose bodies reject a pregnancy or who have even one period should be tried for murder, since it is obviously her fault that the sperm and eggs were allowed to die.

Of course, that makes me wonder what the prescription for women with dangerous or unfulfillable pregnancies would be. Is a woman required to continue an ectopic pregnancy, even though it would kill her? Is a woman required to carry an anencephalic fetus to term as long as the fetus is still alive, even if it could kill the woman to do so? Is a woman required to carry a fetus with a different Rh factor than her to term even though it will inevitably kill the fetus? Because everything has a right to life, according to your logic.

And in this world of yours where conception is always the beginning of an individual life, what happens to those women who inevitably try to abort anyway? What about the women who puncture their own inner organs with sharp objects while trying to abort themselves, since they can't have a doctor do it in a safe and sanitary environment? What about the women who manage to abort part of it by themselves but not all and develop an infection as a result, but are too afraid to go to a doctor until it is too late because it is against the law? What about the women who insert nasty chemicals or who take poisonous abortifacient herbs? When you are talking about preserving life, do their lives mean nothing at all?

I have twice made the decision to abort.

The first time, I wasn't serious with the guy. He was physically attractive but emotionally distant. Still, we talked beforehand about what would happen if I were to get pregnant accidentally and agreed without hesitation that I wouldn't keep it. We used condoms; I was on the pill. A few weeks before I was supposed to fly to another country for a three week vacation, the condom broke. I immediately got Plan B from Planned Parenthood (it wasn't over-the-counter then) and took it, but my period didn't come for an entire month. I was convinced I was pregnant. When I returned from overseas, I asked him what he had done while I was gone. He responded, "Watched porn."

I laughed. He didn't. I was very glad that we had already agreed on abortion.

And then my period finally returned. I wasn't pregnant after all. When we "broke up", he said as many hateful things to me as he could, threw as many darts as he could. It just made me more happy that I hadn't been pregnant but had had the option of abortion should it have come to that.

The second time, I honestly thought I was in love. A close friend had just died suddenly. At his impromptu wake, I met B*. He was cute, funny, attractive. I felt as though I could really talk to him, really tell him what I felt and thought.

The condom broke again. Again, I took Plan B as soon as possible. But this time, I felt an incredible confusion of feelings. The possibility of being pregnant felt incredible, like the entire universe had just opened itself to me and poured in all of its light. I would lie in bed at night, strung between stars and the earth, aware more than I had ever been before of how interconnected and amazing all life is.

But the dark cloud in my sunny day was reality. I was on my own, no helpful family members that I knew of or was willing to turn so shame-facedly to. Though I still spoke to my father then, I knew I would find no shelter under the canopy of his gambling addiction, and my mother couldn't have helped me if she wanted to. My grandmother had made it clear that she didn't approve of sex outside of marriage (I realize now that she would have considered helping me far more important than any moral or legal considerations, but I didn't know that then) and I couldn't bear the thought of burdening those few family members who would have helped me, who had less money than I did.

Money was the biggest issue. I didn't have much. My job didn't provide health benefits or maternal leave - both of which I knew I would need if I continued the pregnancy. The company was far too small, and the job had so many details, it took months to learn; if they hired someone to cover for me, they would have to be hiring someone to replace me. There was no question of how they would react - they were like family and I knew they would support me - but they had to think about money too. And then, once the child was born, who would watch it while I was at work? How would I afford daycare? Where would I find daycare? What if the only daycare I could afford was out in the sticks, off of a bus route (I had no car), not open all of the slightly peculiar hours that I worked?

B was no help either. He was homeless, still sleeping on other people's couches while waiting for a place that he could afford to open up. He had just gotten a job, but frequently skipped it for frivolous reasons (and ended up losing it just a few weeks later because of this). He was an alcoholic, too, who frequently flew into blind rages when someone so much as looked at me when he was drunk, so that there were many times I stepped in between him and someone else because I knew that was the only way to diffuse a situation; he wouldn't risk hitting me. His family was more messed up than he was, the ones that I actually knew about. His father, also an alcoholic, lived on a reservation. I knew reservations and would never want a child to grow up in one if I could help it. His sister dealt with the same basic economic situation I was facing, the same bleak by-the-teeth life I was facing with an unexpected pregnancy, except she'd found a man to help with the rent who liked to scream at her oldest daughter constantly.

I had no alternative that I could see. Though I desperately wanted to keep it, I didn't see how I could provide it the kind of life that I believe a child needs.

This time, my decision wasn't respected. The nasty things that came out of B's mouth, his claim that it was his child, were disgusting. I told him it was my body that would have to do all the work and I was not about to let him try to guilt or scare me into carrying it to term. His complete lack of compassion for anything I was feeling, his refusal to listen to my love for it or my heart-broken logic, made me realize that I couldn't actually trust him, that he was more interested in his possible offspring than in the woman he purported to love. That my decision revealed this to me before I became ensnared with this man for the rest of my life meant that I was, again, grateful to have this choice, even if I ultimately didn't want to have to make it.

I was incredibly lucky to again discover that I wasn't pregnant at all.

(*I feel no need to give B a nickname or include him in my cast of characters since I doubt I will talk about him much.)

As for the remote, the students seemed very comfortable with it and liked using the laser pointer. A few speakers didn't get to use the advance aspect because the USB connection would get jiggled and not work. It took me a little while to figure that one out, but I will be better prepared next time.

We still have problems with people speaking to the slides and people talking too fast, but there are also presenters who make very accomplished presentations and challenge me to improve my own skills as well as giving the other students models for successful presentations.

My class load looks something like this:

• French
• Buddhist Art
• 19th Century Art
• Seminar in Venetian Renaissance (Graduate level course)
• Old Testament & Its Cultural Setting
• Economics

I am not sure how often I will update this blog, hopefully on at least a weekly basis. I tend to consume more information and other blogs than I myself produce.

In my super exciting (read: dull as a box of rocks) Management Information Systems class, our professor thanked everyone for all of the Facebook friend invites he received, but said that sadly, he would not be able to accept any of them as the University has directed all faculty and staff to not associate with students outside of the confines of class and BlackBoard (our on-line class management system) and especially not on Facebook.

I understand it is in the best interest of the University to discourage any inappropriate fraternization, but where do you draw the line between inappropriate and OK? For UT, that line is Facebook, no ifs, ands, or buts. But with Facebook's highly-customizable privacy settings, no professor of mine will ever come across a less-than-school-friendly photo (not that I have any...) of me and I would think most other students would take the same precautions lest they fear grade retaliation.

Should the University stiffle online networking? TAs use Facebook to post assignments, podcasts of lectures, and other relevant info. So I can friend TAs but not professors? It's backwards and the least of what they should be worried about. Rant over.

Oh HI everyone *waves*!!!  How are you all?  Me?  I'm good, thanks.  Yes, yes, ONE MORE WEEK!!  It's coming, fast.  I'm so ready to go!!  Of course, I still need to pack.  But hey, I have a while, right?  Right.

It's been interesting for me lately on the mat.  I've had some really strong classes and some less-than-impressive ones too.  Today's class was sublime torture of the highest form.  I loved it and hated it all at the same time.  Truly, truly a love/hate thing for me.  I was inches away from the two people I was sandwiched between this morning.  The room was PACKED.  I could literally feel the heat radiating off of my two mat buddies.

But the heat didn't get me too badly today.  I was feeling pretty strong for most of class but had some surprisingly strong emotions. I thought I was doing OK until I laid down for Savasana and then the tears just poured out of my eyes.  Tu was talking about fears, and the floor being a safe place and I couldn't keep it in.  I have no idea where it came from or what brought it up, but there it was.  The tears came and went until I was standing in the shower after class when I finally recovered.  I've cried plenty of time in class. Plenty.  It never bothers me, and often feels good to get it done.  Get it out, move on.  Today was like that.  Just letting whatever "it" was go.  Buhbye anxiety.  But usually I see it coming.  Not today.  Today it got me out of nowhere.

I'm getting a little sentimental about the next week.  Tomorrow will be my last Saturday class at BYTW for two months.  Next week will be many "lasts" as I get ready to go off to Mexico.  Sunday will be my last Advanced for a while...  You get the idea.  It's bittersweet, really.  This is my home.  I will miss my hot little orange room.

I've had SO many dreams about Teacher Training.  Lately I've been having tons of dreams about the hot room in Acapulco.  I've been dreaming about class, what it will be like to practice in a literal sea of bodies.  It's not anxiety as much as just energy.  I want to get in there, feel it, get myself in the room.  Make my peace with the size of it.  I know I will, and I'll spend far more time in there than I probably will ever want to, but still I think about it.  I think about all the things I'm working through here, all the challenges I have now, and how those things will show up on my mat in Mexico.  Even the little things like cheating myself in a posture because I'm tired, falling out early, resting weight in my arms.  That ain't gonna fly at Training.

But I let it all go.  No matter what I say or do now, no matter the ways I try to prepare or the dreams I have, it will be what it will be.  I'm wide open and ready.

Namaste

"Everywere we go, people wanna know, who we are, so we tell them, were the Bisons, the Mighty Mighty Bisons!!!"  GO BISONS!

It was awesome! Also after I got back, I went to eat with my mom and 17 of my friends who went to the Camp were there! So we sat next to each other! Thank you Bodge101 for posting!

~Aussie229~