PLOT:

The movie starts with an action sequence, after which the protagonist is revealed to be not Powers, but Tom Cruise playing him, alongside other A-list actors (Gwyneth Paltrow as Dixie Normous, Kevin Spacey as Dr. Evil, and Danny DeVito as Mini-Me), in a film about Powers directed by Steven Spielberg. Powers is then shown talking to Spielberg during the production of the film, but breaks into his usual dance in the beginning until he and his group stumble on Britney Spears in the middle of a music video shoot (for her song "Boys"). Austin and Britney start a dance off until Britney turns out to be a fembot when twin machine gun barrels pop out of her leather top. She tries to kill Austin but fails, and Austin uses his mojo to make her head blow up.

The year is 2002. In his new underground lair behind the famous Hollywood sign, Dr. Evil outlines his latest evil plan. Using a time machine he will go back to 1975 and bring back a Dutchman, Johan van der Smut (alias Goldmember), who had developed a cold fusion unit for a tractor beam. He intends to use the tractor beam to pull a golden meteor into the Earth to strike and melt the polar ice caps and cause global flooding. However, the plot is discovered by the British Secret Service, and Austin leads a group of commandos to arrest Dr. Evil and place him in a maximum security prison.

Austin is knighted for his services but is disappointed when his father (the famous super-spy Nigel Powers) fails to attend the investiture. However, he later learns that his father was kidnapped from his yacht and that some of the crew have had their genitals painted with gold. It was immediately revealed to Austin that Nigel was kidnapped after he skipped out on the knighting ceremony. In search of answers, Austin visits the imprisoned Dr. Evil, who tells him that the insane Goldmember is behind the abduction and, on the condition that he be transferred to a normal prison to be with his beloved Mini-Me, reveals that he is in 1975.

Traveling back to 1975, Austin infiltrates Goldmember's roller disco club "Studio 69" (a spoof of Studio 54) and begins the search. Austin meets up with Foxxy Cleopatra--an old flame and FBI agent--who is working undercover in the club. Austin locates his father but before they can escape they are delivered into Goldmember's inner sanctum. Goldmember abducts Nigel to 2002 in Dr. Evil's time machine. Austin and Foxxy give chase in the MOD's time-travel device (a pimpmobile).

Back in 2002, Frau Farbissina visits Dr. Evil is in his normal prison and tells him that his son, Scott, wants to take over the family business and has started becoming evil to the point of losing his hair. By way of a passionate kiss, Frau passes a key to Dr. Evil. The other prisoners are encouraged to start a riot, which distracts the guards and permits Dr. Evil and Mini-Me to escape.

A British Intelligence mole (who, much to Austin's disgust, actually has a large mole on his face) in Dr. Evil's organization informs Austin that the doctor has moved to a new lair somewhere near Tokyo, Japan. Austin and Foxxy fly to Tokyo where they are informed that Dr. Evil's henchman Fat Bastard is wrestling at the Asahi Sumo Arena. Slipping into the changing rooms, Austin confronts Fat Bastard and manages to subdue him. Fat Bastard confesses that a Japanese businessman, Mr. Roboto, is making some sort of contraption for Dr. Evil.

Dr. Evil's new lair is a submarine lurking in Tokyo Bay. Goldmember tells Dr. Evil that they have the ultimate insurance policy in Austin Power's father. Mini-Me escorts Nigel to his cell but he starts to subvert Mini-Me, claiming that he will gain as much respect from Dr. Evil as he actually is of him: one-eighths. Later, Scott presents his father with a pair of sharks with laser beams attached to their heads. Overjoyed, Dr. Evil professes his love for his son and seats Scott at his right hand, displacing Mini-Me. The clone leaves dejected (but not before giving everyone in the room the finger).

Austin and Foxxy meet with Mr. Roboto, who pleads ignorance about Nigel's whereabouts. Unconvinced, Austin and Foxxy infiltrate Roboto's factory where the command unit for the tractor beam is being loaded in Goldmember's car. Roboto hands Goldmember a golden key which is needed to activate the beam. Foxxy confronts Goldmember, but Nigel is about to have an "unfortunate smelting accident" and Goldmember escapes as Nigel is being rescued. They chase Goldmember through Tokyo, but he reaches the safety of Dr. Evil's sub which departs before they can apprehend him. Austin and Nigel dispute the course of action but cannot agree, and go their separate ways.

In Austin's hotel, the mole has arranged the defection of Mini-Me. Austin, Foxxy and Mini-Me (now an Austin Mini) use Nigel's spy car in submarine mode to reach Dr. Evil's lair and gain entry. Foxxy splits up from Austin and Mini-Me, and they begin to search the sub.

In the control room, Dr. Evil threatens the World Organization with a global flood. To prove he isn't bluffing, he uses the tractor beam to pull a satellite out of orbit. Following the successful trial of the beam, Roboto demands a bonus which Dr. Evil refuses. Becoming more evil, Scott takes over and disposes of Roboto in the shark tank.

Austin and Mini-Me, disguised as one person are waylaid by the medical officer but obtain a plan of the vessel. Rumbled by the MO, Mini-Me escapes and meets up with Foxxy while Austin is taken to the control room.

Dr. Evil offers to show Austin his plan before killing him, but the activation key is missing. Foxxy and Mini-Me enter with guns and the missing key. Austin now threatens Dr. Evil at gunpoint, but his father intervenes and reveals that Dr. Evil and Austin are brothers, separated at an early age during an assassination attempt. The three are reconciled, but Scott interrupts, angry that now that he's finally become evil his father is turning good. Declaring that he hates them all, he vows revenge and leaves.

However, Goldmember intends to complete the destruction of the world. Although Foxxy throws the activation key into the shark tank, Goldmember has a spare: his gold-plated penis. As Goldmember begins to activate the tractor beam, Dr. Evil reverses the polarity of the cold fusion unit, which electrocutes and kills Goldmember and destroys the meteor.

Then it suddenly appears this entire string of events was actually adapted into a film by Steven Spielberg, starring Tom Cruise. The whole Austin Powers cast (aside from Scott) are in the audience of a Hollywood theater, and enjoy watching the film. Upon exiting, they bump into Fat Bastard, but he isn't fat anymore - he took the Subway diet and lost a lot of weight, and is now very thin. Austin and Foxy congratulate him on this achievement, though "Fat" Bastard reveals all of his excess skin sagging off his muscles, and adds that his neck looks like a vagina. Austin and Foxxy exit the theater and share a quick but intimate kiss under some fireworks.

Meanwhile, alone in Dr. Evil's Hollywood lair, a completely bald, maniacal Scott has taken over Dr. Evil's criminal empire and declares, like his father did in the last two films, that he will "get" Austin Powers; he then proceeds to inexplicably get out of his chair and dance like Michael Jackson.

REVIEW:

This is undoubtedly the weakest of the Austin Powers franchise. The jokes would be funny if not for the fact that the majority of them are the same as in the first two films.

Beyonce is the highlight of the film. Even with this very weak script, she pulls out a very good performance.

Not to make it sound sound like the movie is a total waste of time. There are funny moments. The highlight is the water fountain scene. All in all, it's a pretty good movie, but if you've seen any Austin Powers movies before, then you pretty much know what you're going to see here.

2 out of 5 stars

Is it just me or has Sarah Palin been dipping into Dr. Evil's wardrobe? Perhaps she should take a tip from Cindy McCain and her friend, Oscar de La Renta. 

-LalaBlahBlah.Wordpress.com

Even the bloggers at The American Conservative (you'd think they'd have enough to write about) are amazed by the Irish Government's preemptive bailout (it's not a bailout!) of (take breath) 400-500,000,000,000 (I have to stop and count the zeroes each time... not so good at maths to begin with...).

400 or 500? "A hundred billion here, a hundred billion there... pretty soon you're talkin' real money" (apologies to Barney Frank Everett Dirkson of Illinois (1896 - 1969)).

Just a back of the envelope calculation:

€ 400,000,000,000 ”guarantee”
/Divided by/
4,400,000 population in the 26 counties.
=============

€90,909  exposure per man, woman & child;

Or, €454,545 per family of 5;

But it's not a bailout! Ah, well, phew! We're alright then.

Update: Mon Oct. 6

Who the hell knows anymore? With all the foreign funds swarming into Ireland now, maybe the bhoys in the Dáil have pulled a great stroke... that is, if our collective bet pays out, that increased exposure won't actually expose us to a financial shit cascade if not only our own, but now foreign banks start to go belly up.

Source: 23/6

WE ARE NOT A JOKE. Our economy is almost as bad as the Great Depression. Congress is bailing out major financial institutions and banks. We can't afford to take a chance on these two.

OBAMA 2008!

JSC

As a side note I actually compare Jesus and Dr. Evil in this sermon. Seriously.

Ω, Austin Powers, που να είσαι τώρα;

[/caption]

Desde hace unos meses, se está especulando en gran cantidad de medios de comunicación sobre la posibilidad de que el funcionamiento del LHC (Gran Colisionador de Hadrones) acabe con la Tierra, y quizás con gran parte del universo. 

La base de todas estas ideas catastrofistas apareció cuando dos científicos denunciaron ante un tribunal la puesta en marcha del LHC porque según ellos, existía un 75% de probabilidades de que la Tierra se extinguiera.

Como era de esperar, no se ha paralizado nada, y el día 10 se harán circular los primeros haces por todo el circuito. Las primeras colisiones tendrán lugar el día 21 de septiembre, fecha de la inauguración.

El problema de toda esta historia está en que la denuncia ha sido realizada por un científico, y ha aportado datos. Y cuando una persona con estudios aporta datos, la gran mayoría de la gente no se preocupa ni en contrastarlos, ya sea porque lo creen cual divinidad celestial, o sencillamente porque no son expertos en el tema.

Debido a esto, un grupo de expertos sobre seguridad del LHC (el grupo LSAG) ha realizado un comunicado donde nos explica de una forma muy sencilla las probabilidades de que el acelerador acabe con nuestro querido planeta.

¿Por qué no se ha dado tanto show a esta información como se ha hecho con todas las noticias sobre el fin del mundo?

Bueno, es lógico. ¿Qué vende más, el fin del mundo o la noticia de que todo seguirá igual? Aunque de hecho, los descubrimientos que se pueden realizar gracias a esta tecnología pueden dar un increíble salto en la física.

Pero claro, la física sólo interesa a los físicos, a no ser que acabe con la existencia del mundo en el que vivimos.

Para terminar voy a mencionar los nombres de los científicos detrás de este proyecto (y otras personalidades que lo apoyan), garantizándo que no existe razón de qué preocuparnos:

• Dr. Doom
• Agente Smith
• Lex Luthor
• Dr. Evil
• Al Gore
• Dr. Octopus
• Ra’s al Ghul
• Emperador Palpatine
• Galactus
• Barack Obama
• John McCain
• Darkseid

Art of the Day: Taino by Maria Garcia.

I love this. You can see the emotion in this face. In the eyes. Someone made this face, this emotion out of rock. Amazing. Sidenote - what an unfortunate name. Maria Garcia. I hope her parents weren't cruel and actually named her this. I hope she married into the rhyme.

Ahahahhaha. I would pay to see this. "We probably sound like a group of grannies in a knitting circle, but it's the truth."
– Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, revealing that he and his bandmates sew clothes while recording albums, to U.K.'s Mirror.

Hmm. I'm trying something different. Normally, plain bagels make me a very happy camper. I am now trying blueberry bagels. I'm just not sure about them. They're sweet and the bread is all purple inside because of the blueberries. Purple bread just messes with my mind. So I don't know. Think I'm gonna have to go back to my plain Jane bagels.

Speaking of Jane, I have a rehearsal dinner to go to tonight. A paid for rehearsal dinner because I'm "part of the bridal party". And I say that in quotations because I'm the guestbook girl. I sit by a book for thirty minutes and I get my meal paid for because of it. I find it all a little too humorous. Jane's wedding has become a much larger production than I would have imagined.

Also, my Aunt Josie will be here today. And I stayed up super late cleaning my apartment last night so that she wouldn't realize what a slob I am. Okay, that's sort of a lie. I cleaned until 11:30 which is earlier than I usually go to bed but considering I wanted to go to bed at 8:30 last night, yeah. I was tuckered out. I found out some rather disturbing things about me while cleaning. I have a shitload of socks. Seriously. A whole drawer full of socks. It looked like a sea of marshmallows. And apparently I'm not just hording socks. Bras too. Bras I never wear. Bras I should throw away. Filling up a whole drawer. It's madness. And none of this compares to my pj's. You won't believe this. I don't believe this. I have THREE drawers full of pj's. Three! Filled to the brim. What person in their right mind needs that many pj's? And what's really scary about all this is that I have a ton of laundry to do so I could have even more bras, socks, and pj's lurking within.

To show you the randomness of my thoughts, I'm looking on art.com just now for my "Art of the Day" feature and I saw art predominantly featuring Chinese symbols. Underneath was the translation. "Enlightenment". How am I to know that that symbol REALLY says that? It could say 'fuck' for all I know. This got me to thinking about an article I read a while back about how in an Asian country (I can't remember if it was China or Japan), it was becoming popular to get English words tattooed on your skin. Only the tattoo artists were screwing them over, giving them random letters like EGWYTK and telling them it meant "Fierce" or something like that. But then my mind went back to the 'fuck' statement and I wondered what curses sounded like in other languages. What's the Chinese word for fuck? Do they even have one or do they have some other completely different set of curse words? These are the things I wonder about. Which is both telling and scary all at the same time.

I've finally done it! I have successfully written a chapter of my story and a blog post in one day! And I must say I'm very happy with the last few chapters. When I want to read them several times over, that makes it good for me. No matter what anybody else thinks.

I saw this on Twitter: "facebook movie to be written by someone who has no clue about it. lol!" My first reaction was okay, whatever, bor-ing. Moving on. Then I thought, wait a minute, they are making a movie about Facebook? Are you serious? So I clicked the link tinythoughts kindly provided. Sure enough, a movie about Facebook. Well, the founders of facebook. And the guy who's making it didn't even know what Facebook was when he first agreed to do it. Which just makes me wonder about this man. He agrees to do a movie when he knows absolutely nothing about it. Doesn't sound promising for a good movie to me. It makes me think that he would agree to do absolutely anything, even if it means filming a bird as it eats roadkill, then slapping a cover on it, and calling it a movie.

I twitted/twittered about my blueberry bagels this morning and got this reply back from one of my followers. "Blueberry bagels are eeeevil. Get everything or go home! </jewrant>" I thought the 'eeeevil' bit was funny as if reminded me of Dr. Evil and I love him so much that he's my ringtone that I wake up to every morning. I didn't fully understand the 'get everything or go home' bit though. and the </jewrant> thing, are Jewish people not supposed to have blueberries and I just didn't know about it or is it some kind of computer lingo that I am clueless about?

Got back from the rehearsal dinner about oh wow, it's already been two hours ago. There were a ton of people there. I walked in the same time as Denny. Denny and I have a sort of history together. We were friends for maybe I guess a year and somewhere during that time he began to like me. I was oblivious at first as I usually am until I was informed of his affection by Lanae. It was extremely high school-ish. Anyway, I didn't like him in that way and I couldn't see why on earth he liked me. We had nothing in common. I think we seriously disagreed on every single topic. It wasn't a problem as friends. Made for interesting discussions, even if I would occasionally lose my temper when I thought he had a particularly stupid viewpoint. But in a relationship? I'm not into the whole opposites attract thing. Okay, I'm getting way into detail here. The point is our lovely friends took it upon themselves to butt in continually and I forget the details now but somehow they communicated to him that I didn't like him like that and that I knew how he felt. Being the person that he is, he felt the need to call me and tell me that they were all wrong, that he didn't like me like that and that he didn't want things to be awkward between us. Rolling my eyes at the lie part of his tale to cover his own ego, I agreed perfectly that I didn't want things to be awkward between us. I was perfectly fine continuing to be friends with him. That was one of the last if not the very last conversations we had that was not completely and totally awkward. Which I guess that conversation was awkward as well but you get my point.

He makes it especially difficult because he constantly goes back and forth between refusing to even look at me and being friendly to me. So I never know which Denny I'm going to get. Blah. Boys are so complicated. I just want to be able to talk to the guy when I see him without having to wonder, "Is he going to completely blow me off this time?" I guess I never actually got around to telling what happened tonight with Denny. So I walk in right behind him and he's being the don't-look-at-Jules-under-any-circumstances Denny even though I'm right behind him. I internally sigh. And of course we end up sitting at the same table. But I think he realized we were sitting at the same table before me because he started talking to me at the salad bar as if he hadn't just completely ignored me five minutes before and then I saw we were sitting together. Maybe he just had to work up something to say? Which I guess I can understand that. I do that with certain people. Think of conversation topics when I know it's going to be difficult to talk to them. That makes me sad though that it's difficult to talk to me. It's been a year since all our drama.

And that's really all I have to say about the dinner. Other than the fact that I'm kind of sad about where my friendship with Lanae is. We hardly ever talk anymore and when we do, most of the time we don't really have anything to talk about. I love her. She is and always will be my best friend but our lives are so very different now. She's married, has two step-kids, and a baby due any day now. And me? I'm single and well, single. Oh! That reminds me. I would love love love love LOVE if people didn't find the need to ask me if I had a boyfriend or to helpfully point out 'young available men' to me. I'm not looking. Maybe that makes me weird in the minds of the general population but at this point and time, the idea of being in a relationship just completely sounds like too much work to me. I'm happy being single. No one seems to understand that. They look at me like I'm an alien, I have a mental disease, or they think I'm flat out lying because they think I don't want them to pity me. Urg. And I especially would appreciate if they didn't do the whole look-at-this-available-young-man thing when the guy is from 3 states away and is just visiting. Who in their right mind would purposely get in a long-distance relationship? If you're dating someone and they have to move, sure. But to start one that way? Yeah, I'm not for that. I'm not saying that I absolutely refuse to date anyone right now. If a guy comes along and completely knocks my socks off and by some miracle likes me back, then sure. But he would have to be REALLY worth it. Because I'm actually happy with the way things are for the moment.

I think this new stance of mine may also have a teeny bit to due with the fact I don't want to get hurt again. I don't like the idea of putting my heart on the line to only get it ripped open. And yes that makes me a chicken shit but since I've finally gotten to the point where I'm not just content being single but I'm happy with it, then I'm not gonna worry about my cowardly tendencies.

Man that's a funny cartoon. Amazing what you find when you Google images something. Guess that's all for tonight. I actually wish I had more to say as I'm in a really talkative mood but at the moment I think I've pretty much said everything. Oh! Video of the Day. I'm getting really bad about that.

Video of the Day: Juliet by Royal Wood (the most interesting thing I found attached to my name on youtube in my admittedly short search)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lubKGYDsaaE

Sure, from the evil villain's point of view, it's great. As C. Montogomery Burns puts it, "I prefer the personal touch you only get with hired goons." Sure, it's great to have henchmen do your bidding, but it's not so much fun when you are the uncredited, unnamed, faceless henchman.

I'm not saying for a second that you need to enter a life of warmongering, embezzlement, extortion or general nihilistic terror. But, if you do choose that path, or on whatever path you do choose, stick to your principles. Set your own goals, do what you're good at, leave your mark and keep your honour. Never be the hired goon when you can be the hero or the evil master.

Here are just a few examples of 'goon hiring' shows out there that back up my theory that it's no fun being a hired goon:

1. The Joker's Hired Goons, Batman.

Throughout the ages of Batman, all the villains have had henchmen to carry out their dirty work. Whether it's being ambushed while unloading crates in the middle of the night, being shot by your boss, or being made to fight for your life with another hired goon with half of a broken pool cue as a weapon, being the hired hand of one of the Dark Knight's enemies ultimately ends badly. I chose the Joker because his brand of master villainy in particular places little value on the lives of the hired help. From setting all his goons up to kill each other on a bank job, to making former mob gorillas fight for a place on his goon-roll, to ramming a pencil through the head of a member of the mob, Joker constantly comes up with new and creative ways of undermining his workforce and the workforce of other Gotham criminals. Even with these tactics and the low morale of the Gotham scumbags, he still managed to get all of the Gotham mob to shift allegiances to his side when he became the main man of Gotham. And they had to wear stupid face-paint.

Lesson : goons are forced to work for psychopaths in risky conditions with very little job security. Embarrassing uniforms also a downside.

2. Doctor Evil's Private Army, Austin Powers : International Man of Mystery.

Ah, the human, vulnerable side of the hired goon. In a few touching scenes in this spy spoof movie we got to see exactly how the families and loved-ones of a henchman are affected by the careless disregard for their lives by their employers, enemies and the writers of the films and books in which they feature. When one hired henchman is run over by a steam-roller, we witness the heart-wrenching phone call to his mother, and the moment when she has to break the knews to her young son, Billy, that his big brother, Steve, was run over by a steam-roller and would not be home to play catch with him. As if that's not enough emotion for one film, another hired henchman's life is senslessley and prematurely lost when he is decapitated by a tank of ill-tempered, mutated seabass. This news is received with dismay and shock by his awaiting stag party.

Lesson : Being a hired goon puts your loved-ones at risk of having their world torn apart, and because you're of no consequence, neither will they be when you're gone. You won't be remembered, and neither will they when it comes to compo time.

3. The Foot Soldiers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

The masked, trained foot clan that faced off time and time again against the heroes in a half shell worked for the evil super-mutant baddie, Shredder. At one point, Shredder considered making these highly skilled mercenaries a bit smarter, but he tried it with a prototype and it turned against him and tried to overthrow him. He realised that they should be deadly, but ultimately, stupid in order to serve him adequately. However, the problem with this was that they were all pretty much as thick as horse manure and ended up getting their heads kicked in by the turtles on every outing. It was probably better for them, in retrospect, that their faces were hidden. Getting your ass handed to you by 4 giant sewer turtles when you're supposed to be a trained ninja soldier is pretty feeble.

Lesson : If you're a hired goon, the man (in this case Shredder) will always try to keep you down. If he doesn't think you're worth it, no one else will. You're setting yourself up for failure.

So, just what is it about the nameless, faceless soldiers who work hard, but ultimately have no goals that makes them such likely candiates for early retirement into the shark tank in the sky? Well, there is a lot to be said for fighting spirit. Some of these hired goons may be well-trained, but they just don't have the determination and courage of heroes, or even of super villains. Their cause isn't their own, and it shows in their work. Don't let that be you.

As famous British spy Nigel Powers says to a henchman of Dr. Evil in Austin Powers, Goldmember:

Do you know who I am?

Henchman: [nods] Nigel: Have you got any idea how many anonymous henchmen I've killed over the years?

Henchman: [nods again]

Nigel: I mean, look at you. You don't even have a name tag. You've got no chance. Why don't you just fall down?Go on son.

[henchman falls down]

There you have it really. The guy with the charisma, wit and confidence overpowers the goon. What a surprise. It's all about mentality. If you see yourself as a goon, others will too. And it's not just in the world of crime of doing the work of evil, but in all walks of life. Would you want a goon doing your taxes? Would you want a goon teaching your kids spellings and algebra? Would you want a goon being president of the United States? (That may be a weak example.) But still, there's nothing cool about being a hired goon. Stand tall, don't work for anyone whose name starts with 'The' or contains the word 'death', don't wear a mask and don't let it happen to you.

I'm game.  I loved the first three Austin Powers films especially the last with Gold Member.  And add to that everyone loves Dr. Evil.  Anyway, here's boomdi..ggi..ty from comingsoon:

We're developing a fourth [movie], entirely from Dr. Evil's point of view. That is part of what I've been doing in the last little while."

Now, Deadline Hollywood Daily has a few more details on which direction Myers is going:

I'm told that Mike Myers has started writing Austin Powers 4 which will be a homage to his father. "It's very personal with a father and son theme loosely based on his own life," an insider tells me. As Myers has previously said, this fourth installment of the super spy spoof movie series will focus on Austin's arch-villain Dr. Evil, who was based on Blofeld of the Bond films. But what hasn't been known is that the AP4 plot is really about Dr. Evil and his son (introduced already as Scott Evil, played by Seth Green).

The site adds that Myers is co-writing again with Michael McCullers, who collaborated with Myers on the second and third installments.

I loved Scott Evil and Dr. Evil's fights!  They were classic and forever live in our hearts.  I'm excited to see what Myers can do with this now.  I mean I hope he can resurrect himself after the abomination that is The Love Guru.  Gang how do you feel about the next Austin Installment focusing more on Dr. Evil hmmmmmmmmmm?

The role of the jockstrap could be played by Frank, the role of the bra by Olga, and the role of the boob?

Obviously... me.

Soon, I will have the pleasure of Olga the traveling bra's company. Now that she's safe and sound following that bra-napping incident, I'm sure she's looking forward to a more relaxing time here with us in Canada. She's been through a lot. What with being held captive by Dr. Evil and that offensive Fat Bastard, and before that, having to endure the indignities which befell her at the hands of Daddy Papersurfer, I understand she can't bear to think about anything other than some pampering and rest.

Due to a recent mishap resulting in some of my fraccy parts hanging out a bit too freely these days, I've suddenly become as sendentary as Frank the Sedentary Jockstrap. Olga won't have to worry about being put to work as a guest in the fraccy home, for here... it's all about the resting on our laurels.

(That's a nice name for our nether-regions, in case you didn't know.)

Oh okay. I sit on my butt all day. I can't help it. I have to. Canadian health care means I'll be doing that for several months while waiting for surgery.

I know. I'm going to look like Fat Bastard after all that, aren't I?

While I'm happy to do so during Olga's visit (she will after all, need some TLC after all she's been through) I have been a little worried about how to keep from gaining a lot of weight during this lengthy sit-in. With this in mind, I've taken to scouring the internet for calorie counters and nutritional advice to help adjust to being a sedentary boob from that-boob-who-got-herself-in-this-mess-because-she-had-a-propensity-to-go-dig-dirt-and-lift-heavy-things-while-working-in-her-garden-all-day, in order to maintain the fraccy behind at a steady weight of at least 30 stone.

(Oh crikey... you know you want to do it... so click here and use the calculator to see for yourself what fracas weighs...)  

Anyway, I've been paying attention to the nitty gritty on everything that's been going into the fraccy mouth, and it's been so enlightening that I thought I'd share with you a couple of the sites I've been using regularly to count up the damage and figure out if I need to wire my mouth shut for the next few months or not.

(Some have already voted yes to that, but not because they're worried about my weight gain.)

The Daily Plate gets a fraccy vote, because while I was looking for the nutritional values for the lovely Saskatoon Berries that I've picked straight off the bush in the fraccy garden, this was the site that actually had a listing for it. They also have calorie counts and nutritional values for popular brand name and fast foods. As well, you can create an account, plug in your age, height, weight and activity levels and learn how many calories and grams of fat you may take in to either maintain or lose weight.

The Calorie Counter is a site I've used often. It allows you to search a category, and then narrow down to exactly your portion size so that you don't have to do any calculating on your own.

And... for those of you who really do want to know whether your weight (in relation to your height) places your BMI in the healthy zone, please check out this one at The National Institute of Health or this one at The University of Maryland's site.

Me?

I'll just busy myself with the calorie counters until Olga arrives. Perhaps she'll convince Frank to get off his sedentary butt and we'll head over to the bar...

Obligatory Disclaimer for the boobniks who don't know me well enough and are jumping out of their skin to call me a hypocrite because I'm worrying about my weight after writing about eating disorders: 'Everyone' knows I've never been one to fret about wanting to be too skinny. Frankly, I've really never believed in diets either, preferring to stick to that "everything in moderation" and just add some excercise to your life. I have lately though, because of loved ones with some serious health problems, had reason to pay attention to how things like BMI and diet are important to prevent heart disease, diabetes and other health problems, and... I've learned that when an injury keeps you off your feet, if you don't care about what you eat, you will gain weight that might cause you other health problems.

Respectfully,
Rutherford

WordPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

Let's start with the un-altered original:

The timing is everything here.  The music adds the perfect touch, as music often does.  Now let's see what happens if you equip this little critter with a light saber:

Notice how the author has shaded the rodent's face slightly red.  Nice touch.

Now let's look at this rodent holding the world for ransom.  For One Million Dollars!!!!!

Nice, huh?  Now let's look at our rodent after holding the world ransom.  As you can see, he has become pure evil...

This one is my favorite:

And finally, here is the original clip.  Enjoy

And so it goes.

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The Chronicle of Higher Education updated Friday its watch on the billion-dollar campaigns at 28 universities. MU is one of of the universities looking to reach at least $1 billion, with its For All We Call Mizzou campaign. The goal at MU is to raise $1 billion by the spring of 2009. The campaign began in 2000. As of June 30, MU raised $953 million, or about 95 percent of its goal. The Chronicle reported that as of May 31, MU raised $941 million, including $8 million in May. Too see a breakdown of the money MU has raised and to which schools and colleges the money has gone, click here.

Here's the rest of the universities trying to raise $1 billion or more, as reported by The Chronicle:
Brown University, $1.204-billion as of May 31 (increase of $25.5-million in the last month); the goal is $1.4-billion by 2010.
Columbia University, $2.753-billion as of May 31 (increase of $25-million in the last month); the goal is $4-billion by 2011.
Cornell University, $2.136-billion as of May 31 (increase of $17-million in the last month); the goal is $4-billion by 2011.
Dartmouth College, $1.08-billion as of May 31 (increase of $9-million in the last month); the goal is $1.3-billion by 2009.
Indiana University at Bloomington, $803.1-million as of May 31 (increase of $16.3-million in the last month); the goal is $1-billion by 2010.
The Johns Hopkins University, $3.193-billion as of May 31 (increase of $40.3-million in the last month); the goal is $3.2-billion by 2008.
New York University, $2.703-billion as of May 31 (increase of $48.4-million in the last month); the goal is $2.5-billion by 2008.
North Carolina State University, $1.307-billion as of May 31 (increase of $53.2-million in the last month); the goal is $1-billion by 2008.
Princeton University, $758.1-million as of May 31 (increase of $102.5-million in the last month); the goal is $1.75-billion by 2012.
Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, $1.362-billion as of May 31 (increase of $21.5-million in the last month); the goal is $1.4-billion by 2009.
Stanford University, $3.563-billion as of May 31 (increase of $61-million in the last month); the goal is $4.3-billion by 2011.
Syracuse University, $560-million as of May 31 (increase of $10-million in the last month); the goal is $1-billion by 2012.
Tufts University, $892.6-million as of May 31 (increase of $11.3-million in the last month); the goal is $1.2-billion by 2011.
The University of Chicago, $2.214-billion as of May 31 (increase of $24.3-million in the last month); the goal is $2-billion by 2008.
The University of Florida, $654-million as of May 31 (increase of $7.7-million in the last month); the goal is $1.5-billion by 2012.
The University of Illinois, $1.372-billion as of May 31 (increase of $17-million in the last month); the goal is $2.25-billion by 2011.
The University of Maryland at College Park, $519.1-million as of May 31 (increase of $9.5-million in the last month); the goal is $1-billion by 2011.
The University of Michigan, $2.94-billion as of May 31 (increase of $10-million in the last month); the goal is $2.5-billion by 2008.
The University of Notre Dame, $1.292-billion as of May 31 (increase of $37.4-million in the last month); the goal is $1.5-billion by 2011.
The University of Pennsylvania, $1.98-billion as of May 31 (increase of $70-million in the last month); the goal is $3.5-billion by 2012.
The University of Pittsburgh, $1.244-billion as of May 31 (increase of $5-million in the last month); the goal is $2-billion by 2014.
The University of Tennessee, $723.5-million as of May 31 (increase of $19.5-million in the last month); the goal is $1-billion by 2011.
The University of Virginia, $1.689-billion as of May 31 (increase of $15.3-million in the last month); the goal is $3-billion by 2011.
The University of Washington, $2.63-billion as of May 31 (increase of $22.7-million in the last month); the goal is $2.5-billion by 2008.
Vanderbilt University, $1.513-billion as of May 31 (increase of $11.1-million in the last month); the goal is $1.75-billion by 2010.
Virginia Tech, $633.8-million as of May 31 (increase of $5-million in the last month); the goal is $1-billion by 2010.
Yale University, $2.152-billion as of May 31 (increase of $33-million in the last month); the goal is $3-billion by 2011.

Entrevista

Esperemos que sea cierto. Y ya aprovechando, os dejo con el otro rap del doctor maligno:

Esta canción va para el rey de la casa....

Aquí dejo un poco de material para vuestros oídos:

Austin Powers 3: Miembro de Oro-Rap Doctor Maligno

Jay Z-Hard Knock Life