During that time James was absolutely amazing. In the midst of supporting me on an almost daily basis, he's also been teaching more than usual, seeing clients and is a bit burned out. Just as he watched me experience a lot of discomfort and even pain recently, now I get to watch him withdraw and rest. At the moment he is napping in our bedroom.

My inner control freak projects on him that he wants attention. As a woman who almost always wants loving attention when I feel down, I want to go to him, to nurture him and to do anything but leave him alone. Yet, I know what he really wants is to be with himself. John Gray calls this withdrawing going into 'the cave.'

In my past relationships when men began to withdraw, I made it about me. What did I do wrong? What could I do to make them happy? I was basically asking, "How is this my fault and how can I 'fix' it?" I believe this is called codependency.

I noticed myself doing that last night with James, asking him "What's wrong?" When I realized that he needs space, I was able to back away without getting defensive. I didn't 'make myself wrong' for my recent experiences or blame him for helping me 'too much.'

I was 'triggered' a bit though. There haven't been many times in our relationship where we weren't super open and connected to each other. And since I haven't done the long term relationship thing very much (this is my longest committed relationship ever at 14 months), I'm not used to riding the waves of live with another.

My past relationships were so short that we didn't go beyond the honeymoon phase or when we got past that we broke up (usually I did this, being a perfectionist in all, I wouldn't settle for anything but happily ever after all the time). This created a lot of heartache and a lot of learning.

I'm learning to do the day-to-day thing with someone I love and to ride the waves of our lives and our relationship. I'm learning to surf...tandem.

Oplà, insetti caramellati! Cos'è li preferiva fritti?

Non meravigliarti. Potrebbe accadere. Oggi più che mai, è sempre più frequente trovarsi ad interagire in un ambiente dove è presente diversità interculturale ed è sempre più importante conoscere le differenze nei codici comportamentali per evitare imbarazzi e gaffe.

Le imprese iniziano ad assumere manager della diversità per gestire le differenze culturali, portandole a conoscenza di tutti e valorizzandole.

Se a noi italiani piace la pasta in alcuni paesi apprezzano altrettanto gli insetti.

Se in America si privilegiano i rapporti informali, in Europa si è un po' più formali, in oriente il codice comportamentale è strettamente legato al posto occupanto in azienda o nella società. E' per questo che in oriente il biglietto da visita viene scambiato all'inizio dell'incontro e non alla fine come di solito si fa a queste latitudini.

Se nel nord Europa si tende ad andare subito al dunque e finire le riunioni con un piano preciso e scadenzato, da noi si tende a organizzare riunioni fiume, senza un ordine del giorno preciso. Si inizia la riunione con uno scambio di battute e prese in giro. Tutti parlano di tutto, dei particolari più insignificanti e si finisce senza sapere bene chi deve fare cosa e quando.

Ci sono paesi in cui tutto è proceduralizzato e regolamentato, dove quando si stabilisce un orario di un appuntamento ci si aspetta che sia rispettato al minuto, e paesi (Italia compresa) dove si tracciano solo le linee guida e il resto è lasciato alla buona volontà o alla professionalità del lavoratore, dove un orario stabilito è un riferimento di massima.

Un manager straniero che ho conosciuto e che ha lavorato in Italia per un certo periodo raccontava ai suoi colleghi che la prima che ha dovuto imparare in Italia è il significato della frase "Sto arrivando", la tipica risposta che ottieni quando chiami qualcuno che è in ritardo ad un appuntamento o a una riunione.

Certo, sono generalizzazioni, ma le diversità culturali sono una realtà con cui dovremo sempre più fare i conti. Per questo è importante conoscere abitudini, codici comportamentali, usanza diverse. Per accogliere e farci accogliere, per capire e farsi capire, per vitare incidenti e figuracce e gestire al meglio le relazioni.

E non è facile. Se pensiamo che, nonostante millenni di storia, ancora non abbiamo imparato a dialogare e a capirci semplicemente fra uomini e donne.

Non c'è niente da fare, anche uomini e donne sono separati da codici comportamentali e linguaggi diversi. E' come se venissero da pianeti diversi.

John Gray, il massimo esperto in questo campo, ha sintetizzato tutto ciò nel titolo del suo libro più famoso "Gli uomini vengono da Marte, le donne da Venere".

Libri di John Gray (offerta promozionale 4 libri) Gli Uomini vengono da Marte le Donne da Venere + Gli Uomini vengono da Marte le Donne da Venere e sono tutti sotto stress + Marte e Venere si innamorano di nuovo + Marte e Venere si corteggiano John GrayDimmi di più....

No presente mês de Junho, a FOXlife estreia novos blocos de programação, assim como novos episódios de Donas de Casa Desesperadas e Ghost Whisperer.

Donas de Casa Desesperadas - QUARTA TEMPORADA - Susan (Teri Hatcher), Lynette (Felicity Huffman), Bree (Marcia Cross), Gabrielle (Eva Longoria), Edie (Nicollette Sheridan) e Katherine (Dana Delany) estão de volta, com sete novos episódios repletos de drama, comédia e mistério.

Susan e Mike (James Denton) continuam felizes, e agora com um bebé a caminho reencontram caras familiares, que despoletam novos problemas. Chris Carmack (The O.C.), Celia Weston (Junebug) e o antigo membro do elenco regular Richard Burgi, são alguns dos actores que poderemos ver na companhia de Teri Hatcher e James Denton.

Lynette e Tom (Doug Savant) não terão a mesma sorte que os vizinhos Susan e Mike. O regresso de Rick (participação de Jason Gedrick) irá abalar as estruturas do casamento dos Scavos, mas será a problemática Kayla (Rachel Fox) que ameaçará verdadeiramente a felicidade de Lynette.

Com Carlos (Ricardo Chavira) cego, Gabrielle é forçada a tornar-se numa mulher diferente, responsabilidade que a ex-modelo não consegue ter. Até um cão-guia causará problemas ao casal. E quando Ellie (participação de Justine Bateman; Amor no Alasca; Family Ties - Quem sai aos seus), uma desconhecida, aluga um quarto na casa dos Solis, os problemas já existentes assumem outras proporções.

Bree e Hodge (Kyle MacLachlan) também não terão umas semanas fáceis. O casal sofrerá um abalo quando Hodge confessa algo de terrível do seu passado a Bree, algo que Bree não conseguirá perdoar facilmente, e que levará Hodge a aproximar-se de Edie, a quarentona conquistadora do bairro. Será na companhia de Katherine, que Bree terá momentos de alegria e de verdadeira amizade, mas também de terror e medo de morte.

Katherine, a protagonista do mistério da temporada, terá problemas em lidar com a obsessão da sua filha Dylan (Lyndsy Fonseca) em descobrir a verdade sobre si e sobre o seu pai, Wayne Davies (participação de Gary Cole; A Balada de Ricky Bobby), quando este regressa a Wisteria Lane. A presença do perigoso Wayne forçará a nova moradora do bairro a pedir ajuda a Bree e também a Adam (participação de Nathan Fillion; Firefly; Serenity).

E Edie, ainda que pouco destacada nestes episódios, acabará por conquistar a atenção de todos quando decide mudar por completo a sua vida, e para isso, toma medidas drásticas que poderão encerrar a participação de Nicolette Sheridan na série.

criada por: Marc Cherry

produzida por: Marc Cherry, Kevin Murphy, George W. Perkins, John Pardee, Joey Murphy, Bob Daily e Joe Keenan

realizada por: David Grossman, Larry Shaw, Bethany Rooney, David Warren

escrita por: Alexandra Cunningham, Lori Kirkland, Jeff Greenstein, Jamie Gorenberg, Susan Nirah Jaffe, Jordon Nardino, Dahvi Waller, Anne Flett-Giordano, Chuck Ranberg, Matt Berry, Bob Daily

com: Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman, Marcia Cross, Eva Longoria, Dana Delany, Nicolette Sheridan, Ricardo Chavira, Kyle MacLachlan, Doug Savant, Andrea Bowen com Brenda Strong como Mary Alice Young e James Denton

ainda com: Shawn Pyfrom, Lyndsy Fonseca, Zane Huett, Brent Kinsman, Shane Kinsman, Rachel Fox

participação de: Gary Cole, Richard Burgi, Nathan Fillion, Kathryn Joosten, Jason Gedrick, Ellen Geer, Celia Weston, Kevin Rahm, Tuc Watkins, Chris Carmack, Sunny Mabrey, Dakin Matthews, Jeff Doucette, Peter Birkenhead, Rick Otto, Bill Smitrovich, Archie Kao, Mitch Longley, Andy Umberger com Justine Bateman e Gale Harold

Episódios: 7 (80*/87#)

Estreia: Terça 3 de Junho às 21h50
Emissão: Terças às 21h50
Repetições: Quartas às 00h20 e e Domingos às 14h45

Ghost Whisperer - Em Contacto - 3ª TEMPORADA - Jennifer Love Hewitt está de volta com novos episódios do drama Ghost Whisperer, onde interpreta Melinda Gordon, uma jovem mulher com poderes paranormais: Ela é capaz de ver e comunicar com almas que, por variadas razões, não abandonaram a terra depois de morrerem.

No decorrer da temporada, Melinda descobre mais sobre a sua família, mais precisamente sobre os seus pais, Tom (participação especial de Martin Donovan; Imsonia, recorrente em Erva) e Beth (participação especial de Anne Archer; Atracção Fatal). Gabriel Lawrence (participação de Ignacio Serricchio), um homem com os mesmos poderes que ela, regressa a Grandview, o que causará muitos problemas a Melinda.

Jim (David Conrad) também tem alguns problemas, quando Matt (participação de Matthew Marsden; Rambo) um amigo seu de longa data, regressa a casa depois de servir no exercito, sem memória do que lhe aconteceu. Um fantasma começa a assombrar Jim, por o culpar pela sua morte.

E o professor Payne (novo membro do elenco regular Jay Mohr) conhece Elliot (participação de Nathan Gamble), o brilhante filho de Nina (participação especial de Nikki Cox; Las Vegas), uma ex-namorada sua. A idade do rapaz faz-lo suspeitar que ele possa ser seu filho. A situação complica-se quando Kate (participação de Rachel Shelley; A Letra L), a ex-mulher de Payne começa a assombrar Nina e o filho dela, por ciúmes.

criada por: John Gray

produzida por: John Gray, Kim Moses, Ian Sander, P.K. Simonds

realizada por: John Gray, Ian Sander, Eric Laneuville, Peter O'Fallon, Gloria Muzio, Fred Toye, Peter Werner, Steven Robman, Mark Rosman

escrita por: John Gray, P.K. Simonds, Laurie McCarthy, Teddy Tenenbaum, Karl Schaefer, Breen Frazier, Jeannine Renshaw, Laurie McCarthy, Karl Schaefer, Daniel Sinclair, Mark B. Perry

com: Jennifer Love Hewitt, David Conrad com Jay Mohr e Camryn Manheim

participação especial de: Nikki Cox, Martin Donovan e Anne Archer

participação de:Rachel Shelley, Ignacio Serrichio, Matthew Marsden, Nathan Gamble, Amy Acker, Autumn Reeser, Josh Hopkins, Orlando Jones, Makenzie Vega, Hallee Hirsh, Gordon Clapp, Michael Reilly Burke, Dee Wallace, Marshall Allman, Elisabeth Moss, Jayma Mays, Kay Panabaker, Matthew Morrison, Mae Whitman, Dash Mihok, Azura Skye, Victoria Pratt, Mike Erwin, Melinda Page Hamilton, Jean Louisa Kelly,Alan Ruck, Kate Levering, Kevin Kilner, José Zúñiga, Kris Lemche, Assaf Cohen, Stephanie Erb, Brie Larson, Omid Abtahi, Sarah Utterback, Christoph Sanders, Corin Nemec com Jon Polito e Kathleen York

Episódios: 18 (44*/62#)

Estreia: Domingo 22 de Junho às 21h00
Emissão: Domingos às 21h00
Repetições: Segundas às 23h30 e e Sábados às 18h30

- A partir de 2 de Junho, as séries emitidas em prime-time são repetidas no dia seguinte, no período 23h30-01h05.

- A partir de 2 de Junho, surge um novo bloco de acção, no período 18h30-21h00, intitulado: Investigação no Feminino. Contará com as séries The Closer (18h30), A Patologista (Crossing Jordan, no original) (19h20) e Em Contacto (Ghost Whisperer, no original) (20h10)

- A partir de 3 de Junho, a série com Alicia Silverstone (Batman & Robin) e Lake Bell (Loucuras em Las Vegas), Miss Match, começa a ser exibida às 13h15.

- A partir de 24 de Junho, surge um novo bloco de comédia, no período 15h30-18h30, com Betty Feia (Ugly Betty, no original), Venha o que Vier (Still Standing, no original), Foi Assim que Aconteceu (How I Met Your Mother, no original), Joey e Miss Match.

A FOXlife irá repetir também:

As primeiras temporadas de:

- Venha o que Vier - Começa dia 5 de Junho ao 16h15, em substituição da quarta (e última) temporada da mesma série.

- Betty Feia - Começa dia 9 de Junho às 15h30, em substituição da mesma temporada da mesma série.

- The Closer - Começa dia 11 de Junho às 18h30, em substituição da segunda temporada da mesma série.

- Cane - Começa dia 12 de Junho às 21h00, em substituição da mesma temporada da mesma série.

- Amor no Alasca - Começa dia 19 de Junho às 22h40, em substituição da mesma temporada da mesma série.

As segundas temporadas de:

- As Novas Aventuras de Christine (The New Adventures of Old Christine, no original) - Começa dia 3 de Junho ao 12h00, em substituição da primeira temporada da mesma série.

- Em Contacto - Começa dia 3 de Junho às 20h10, em substituição da mesma temporada da mesma série.

Imagens: FOX International Channels

]]> http://toddiedowns.wordpress.com/?p=138 Sat, 31 May 2008 20:30:43 +0000 toddiedowns http://toddiedowns.wordpress.com/?p=138 I just finished reading the best book, a book that had me snarfing milk out my nose as I read it at the breakfast table. I know, it's rude to read at the table, but so be it.

Beth Lisick lays her cards right on the table in the introduction of Helping Me Help Myself: One Skeptic, Ten Self-Help Gurus, and a Year on the Brink of the Comfort Zone. She writes:

I'd gone through my whole life being okay with being okay. And though I'd never read a self-help book before this year, I always liked picturing a world where the self-help movement had ended right there, with everyone feeling overwhelmingly, satisfyingly okay. . .

. . .[H]ow does a skeptic dive into the world of self-help?

I know I'm not alone on this. Surely my friends and I weren't the only people who used to sit around at 2:00 a.m. watching Tony Robbins informercials for amusement.

But dive in she does, for reasons I'll let you discover in your own reading. Lisick takes twelve months to test the waters of various aspects of self-helpdom, giving each a one-month trial. She samples the business coaching of Stephen Covey (The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People); the Venus/Mars relationship advice of John Gray, and the fitness whirlwind approach of Richard Simmons, to name but a few.

What I loved about Lisick's writing in this book was her unflinching honesty about herself. When she goes to a Suze Orman seminar for financial help, Lisick writes:

I think about how Suze's approach is extremely accessible to the average working joe, but how so many of her tips don't compute in my world at all. She talks about "regular" expenditures like pet grooming, gym memberships, manicures, haircuts, and my favorite, window washing. I feel like if I could afford regular window washing, manicures, and haircuts, I might as well also own a yacht.

But what made me revere Lisick and want to invite her and her family over to hang out was her determination to avoid giving in to her preconceptions, either about the self-help millionaires or their target audiences, until she'd had a chance to know what the fuss was about. For example, when she tells her friends she's going to go on a Richard Simmons "Cruise to Lose" week, most of them ask how she's going to deal being on a ship with a "bunch of fat people from Middle America?" She writes:

It's not that I'm trying to protect anyone's feelings, really, but my first thought is: Will there ever be a day when people stop using the phrase "middle America" as code for "unattractive, fat, white, conservative people with bad clothes"? Did I leave anything out? Sheeplike. Trashy. Dumb. Christian. Any why are they so sure that's who's going to be there? Part of me wants to sign up for the cruise just to prove everyone wrong.

Do yourself an enormous favor and read this book. You'll feel better from laughing, and may even learn a thing or two.

It is a funny sort of humanism that condemns an impulse that is peculiarly human

          John Gray (on Religion)

"E' colpa tua!"

"Mia? Se tu non avessi...."

"Io? Tu piuttosto, perché ti sei comportato così?"

Quante volte in una relazione ti è capitato di ritrovarti in un battibecco come questo?

E' possibile migliorare le relazioni con gli altri e uscire in modo soddisfacente da una discussione?

Certamente! Ecco alcuni consigli.

Il punto cruciale e impegnativo da accettare e gestire è che in una discussione occorre andare oltre le parole. Occorre sforzarsi di comprendere l'altro, le sue emozioni, i suoi stati d'animo, le sue reali intenzioni. Occorre distinguere i fatti dai pregiudizi.

Facile? No. Ma provaci.

No presumere di sapere tutto, cerca di scoprire quali informazioni ha l'altro e che giustificano il suo atteggiamento.

Esprimi i tuoi sentimenti e invita l'altro a fare lo stesso. Se cerchi di nasconderli, rischi che emergano comunque in maniera inopportuna e non produttiva. Spiega all'altro l'effetto che hanno avuto le sue parole e i suoi comportamenti e invita l'altro a fare lo stesso.

Cerca di capire come quello che viene detto può mettere in discussione l'identità di ciascuno. Si trascura troppo spesso il fatto che le nostre parole mettono in discussione l'immagine che l'altro ha di se. Allo stesso modo ciò che ci fa più soffrire non sono tanto le parole in se quanto il fatto che queste mettono in crisi la nostra identità. Mi stai dicendo che non sono onesto, non sono in gamba, non sono giusto quando io penso di esserlo e voglio esserlo. Questo ci fa soffrire, ci fa arrabbiare, ci fa rispondere come non vorremmo. Non è così?

Forse accettare il fatto che non si è mai totalmente "buoni" o "cattivi", "onesti" o "disonesti" ci farebbe accettare ciò che sta accadendo e comprendere di più le ragioni dell'altro. 

Accetta il fatto che probabilmente tutti e due avete ragione e ciò che dite è vero. Cerca di capire la sua ragione. Cerca di capire quali informazioni ti mancano per capire la sua ragione, cerca di capire la diversa percezione che l'altro ha di ciò che è avvenuto.

Dai all'altro tutte le informazioni perché lui arrivi  comprendere il tuo punto di vista. Cerca la complementarità della versione dell'altro invece della sua negazione.

Invece di spendere energie a dimostrare le colpe dell'altro ricerca e metti in luce il contributo di ciascuno al verificarsi della situazione. Cerca di ricostruire il gioco delle azioni e reazioni

Esiste un metodo molto efficace per raggiungere questo traguardo. Fare domande, anziché affermare.

Ma vediamo in concreto come strutturare il dialogo:

Di solito si fa l'errore di partire accusando e comunicando il nostro punto di vista.

Per sviluppare un dialogo produttivo conviene partire cercando di inquadrarlo come farebbe un osservatore esterno estraneo alla discussione.

"Sembra che la vediamo in modo diverso, tu ritieni che... mentre io penso ....."

Non c'è accusa, non c'è giudizio, l'altro si sente compreso, non ha ragioni per chiudersi e mettersi sulla difensiva, anzi, al contrario, si predispone ad aprirsi.

Prosegui poi ricercando le motivazioni che portano entrambi ad avere punti di vista differenti.

"Io penso questo perché..... probabilmente tu avrai delle informazioni diverse, ti va di dirmele?"

Aiuta l'altro a capirti e chiedi di aiutarti a capire ampliando le informazioni a disposizione che magari si danno per scontate o che si ritengono irrilevanti.

Passa poi a parlare degli effetti e delle intenzioni di ciascuno

Quello che è successo mi ha creato queste difficoltà, immagino che non fosse tua intenzione che questo avvenisse, mi interessa conoscere il tuo punto di vista a riguardo"

Non dare per scontato che l'altro conosca le conseguenze del suo comportamento e nello stesso tempo sii curioso delle motivazioni del suo comportamento.

"Mi rendo conto che entrambi abbiamo contribuito a questa situazione, l'abbiamo fatto facendo ...., dicendo......." 

"....e questo mi ha fatto sentire ....e probabilmente tu ti sentirai..... è così? "

Analizza come questi sentimenti mettono in discussione l'auto-immagine di ciascuno.

"Proviamo a vedere quali sono i nostri scopi e come raggiungerli"

Nel farlo tieni conto delle preoccupazioni e degli interessi di entrambi e quindi escogitare insieme le vie di soluzioni possibili.

Come vedi molto di quanto descritto parte da te. Ti chiederai, ma devo fare tutto io? Oppure, ma perché il primo passo dovrei farlo io?

Beh perché tu tu leggi IoManager e quindi sei interessato a migliorare te stesso ;-) .  Fai in modo che anche il tuo "avversario" divenga un frequentatore di IoManager e magari non dovrai più fare tutto te.

Naturalmente il conflitto può avvenire in tutte le relazioni, ma nelle relazioni di coppia la discussione assume un importanza particolare ed è particolarmente difficile da risolvere. Perché. Perché oltre alle consuete difficoltà relazionali nelle discussioni di coppia entra in gioco anche la diversità di pensiero e atteggiamento che caratterizza uomini e donne, l'universo maschile e quello femminile.

In questo campo il massimo esperto è John Gray l'autore del best seller  "Gli uomini vengono da Marte le donne da venere".

 Ti basterà guardare qualche video tratto da un corso di John Gray renderti conto di quanto precisa e lucida sia la sua analisi. Impossibile non ritrovarsi nelle sue descrizioni. Da analisi tanto lucide non possono che discendere preziosi consigli per migliorare la relazione di coppia.

 Per conoscere meglio John Gray ti regalo l'e-book "Come costruire relazioni durature".

Agisci subito!

• Analizza il conflitto dal punto di vista di un estraneo non coinvolto
• Evidenzia le conseguenze sia pratiche che emotive della situazione
• Analizza come tali conseguenze possono colpire l'identità di ciascuno
• Raccogli informazioni oggettive e individua gli scopi di ciascuno
• Ricerca una soluzione comune che tenga conto degli interessi e delle preoccupazione di entrambi

Ricorda

"Le donne desiderano ricevere comprensione, gli uomini accettazione - Una donna si sente compresa quando un uomo la ascolta con partecipazione e senza giudicare ciò che dice. Più questo bisogno è soddisfatto, più sarà facile dare al compagno l'accettazione che lui desidera.

 Quando gli uomini tornano a casa, vogliono rilassarsi, ad esempio, leggendo il giornale, anche le donne vogliono rilassarsi dopo una giornata pesante. Loro, tuttavia, trovano sollievo parlando dei loro problemi. Gli uomini sono convinte che le donne parlino troppo, mentre le donne si sentono ignorate".

John Gray

 Approfondimenti:

Scarica l’ebook di John Gray

I libri di John Gray IoManager ti regala un libro di John Gray se ti iscriviti al Corso di John Gray!

Conversazioni Difficili Come uscire da situazioni delicate senza rovinare le vostre relazioni Anne DicksonDimmi di più....

E te, come te la cavi con le relazioni? Conosci i libri di John Gray?  Lascia il tuo commento. Sono curioso di conoscere il tuo punto di vista. Grazie.

I VIDEO DEL Dr. GRAY SULLA VITA DI COPPIA
	N U O V O !
CIO’ CHE FA FELICE UN UOMO NON E’ CIO’ CHE FA FELICE UNA DONNA		COME REAGISCONO UOMINI E DONNE ALLO STRESS?
I SEGNALI DELLA CRISI		JOHN GRAY INTERVISTATO DAL TG1

Scarica l’ebook di John Gray

Anyway if you are interested in the suppliment and try it out, I'd be curious to hear what you have discovered with it.  I'm gonna give it 3 months before I am totally sold on it.  John Gray is the guy who turned me onto it.  You can hear a great interview he just did on Coast to Coast recently with George Noory on youtube.  Just type in John Gray 5-HTP in the youtube search bar.  Pretty enlightening stuff about our species and genders.

Scarica l'ebook di John Gray

"Dobbiamo capire le nostre reciproche diversità, ecco l´unica, vera chiave della comunicazione.
Altrimenti non potremo mai comprenderci e saremo destinati ad eterni fraintendimenti."

John Gray

Cosa tiene viva una relazione? La comunicazione.

Per mantenere la relazione devi mantenere viva o migliorare la comunicazione con passione.

Pasione e attrazione.

Quando la comunicazione scade la relazione scade.

Gli uomini perdono interesse nella relazione.

Le donne si lamentano della relazione.

Le donne vogliono migliorare la relazione.

Gli uomini pensano "Se funziona, vai avanti così senza cambiare niente!"

Quando si sposano le donne pensano "Addesso posso iniziare a cambiare, possiamo migliorare"

Gli uomini dicono "Ora che sono sposato speriamo che non cambi niente, che tutto continui così come prima!"

Cosa tiene viva una relazione? La comunicazione.

Scarica l'ebook di John Gray

Scarica l'ebook di John Gray

El filósofo John Gray denuncia el secularismo fundamentalista

Considera que en su afán por descalificar la religión, Dawkins y otros se radicalizan

John Gray, famoso filósofo y politólogo británico, autor de libros como “Contra el progreso y otras ilusiones” o “Al Qaeda y lo que significa ser moderno”, publica en The Guardian un artículo titulado “The atheist delusion” en el que analiza la aparición, en los últimos años, de una corriente anti-religiosa defendida a ultranza por escritores y pensadores muy conocidos.

El título del artículo hace referencia, como no, al libro “The God Delusion" (en español “El espejismo de Dios), escrito por uno de esos pensadores a los que Grey ha bautizado como “fundamentalistas seculares”: el divulgador científico Richard Dawkins, quien reproduce en su site de internet el artículo de Gray en The Guardian.

Escribe Gray: “una atmósfera de pánico moral rodea a la religión. Vista, hasta no hace mucho tiempo, como una reliquia de la superstición cuyo papel en la sociedad declinaba constantemente, ahora está demonizada y es considerada la causa de los peores males que azotan al mundo”.

Miedo al terrorismo

Como resultado, se ha producido una explosión repentina en la literatura de un proselitismo del ateísmo. Hace unos años, señala Gray, resultaba difícil convencer a algún editor comercial para que publicase un libro sobre religión. Hoy, los tratados anti-religosos pueden convertirse en artículos que generen grandes beneficios económicos.

Entre los viscerales detractores de la religión, además de Dawkins, estarían según Gray, autores como Christopher Hitchens, Daniel Dennet, Martin Amis, Michel Onfray o Philip Pullman, entre otros.

El debate entre ateísmo y religión ni es nuevo ni tiene visos de ir a resolverse pronto. De un tiempo a esta parte, además, nuevos libros, artículos y comentarios en prensa ponen de manifiesto el auge de esta discusión, especialmente entre pensadores de habla inglesa.

Para algunos científicos, ha llegado el momento de que la religión sea sustituida por la ciencia. Para otros, como para el físico Frank Tipler, el cristianismo tiene una sólida base científica. Pero, más allá de estas elucubraciones ideológicas, ¿a qué se debe el auge del debate en la actualidad?

Según Gray, esta polémica ha venido alimentada en parte por los ataques terroristas de los últimos tiempos, especialmente el del 11 de septiembre de 2001: el fundamentalismo religioso puede llevar a actitudes extremas altamente peligrosas, señala.

Parecerse a su enemigo

En su artículo, Gray alerta a los “fundamentalistas seculares” del siguiente peligro: se están comenzando a parecer en algunas cosas a su supuesto antagonista (la religión).

Quizá, como decía Jorge Luis Borges, siempre “hay que tener cuidado al elegir a los enemigos porque uno termina pareciéndose a ellos”. Según Gray, justo eso es lo que está ocurriendo: el ateísmo más fervoroso renueva algunas de las peores características del cristianismo y del Islam, como el afán por conseguir una conversión universal, o la ausencia de duda ante la idea de que cualquiera que acepte sus preceptos transformará su vida.

La vía por la que el ateísmo llegará a todas partes para “salvar el mundo” serán las telecomunicaciones actuales. Gray afirma que los positivistas han creído durante años que con el desarrollo del transporte y las comunicaciones, el pensamiento religioso irracional llegará a marchitarse.

Pero, advierte el autor, estos fundamentalistas seculares creen en un mito muy arraigado: el del progreso, que supuestamente derivará en un secularismo generalizado en un mundo racional, alejado del irracionalismo de la religión.

Reprimir el instinto religioso

Es decir, que bajo el ateísmo más radical subyace una concepción histórica muy religiosa porque la creencia de que la historia es un proceso con una dirección proviene de la cosmovisión cristiana. Para Gray, aunque los humanistas seculares supriman el contenido religioso de sus ideas, continúan manteniendo creencias no del todo ateas.

Y, aunque es cierto que en numerosos países la religión ha decaído (como es el caso de España e Irlanda) en los últimos años, en otros ha ocurrido lo contrario: Estados Unidos, por ejemplo, no es hoy más secular que hace 150 años. Nada sugiere tampoco que los movimientos de decadencia de la religión vayan a ser irreversibles. Para Gray, la era secular podría ser en parte una ilusión.

El autor afirma por último que no se puede acabar con la religión, y que reprimirla es como reprimir los instintos sexuales: una empresa imposible. E intentar erradicar la religión sólo consigue que ésta reaparezca en formas grotescas y degradadas.

El último libro de John Gray, Black Mass: Apocalyptic Religion and the Death of Utopia (Misa Negra: Religión Apocalíptica y la Muerte de la Utopía), fue publicado en 2007.

---------------------------

La historia podrá no repetirse pero, como observó Mark Twain, a veces rima. Las crisis y los conflictos del pasado reaparecen, y su similitud puede advertirse a pesar de que las nuevas condiciones los modifican. En la actualidad tiene lugar una competencia por los recursos del mundo que recuerda el Gran Juego de las décadas anteriores a la Primera Guerra Mundial.

Ahora como entonces, el trofeo más codiciado es el petróleo, y el riesgo es que, a medida que la competencia se hace más reñida, no siempre va a ser pacífica. Sin embargo, no se trata de una simple reedición de lo que pasó a fines del siglo XIX y principios del XX. Hoy hay actores nuevos poderosos y lo que está en juego no es sólo el petróleo.

Rudyard Kipling difundió la idea del Gran Juego en Kim, su novela de capa y espada de espionaje y geopolítica imperial en tiempos del Raj británico que se publicó en 1900-1901. En aquel momento los actores principales eran Gran Bretaña y Rusia, y el objeto del juego era el control del petróleo de Asia central.

Ahora Gran Bretaña casi no tiene importancia, e India y China, que eran países dominados durante la última ronda del juego, se convirtieron en grandes actores. La lucha ya no se concentra ante todo en el petróleo de Asia central. Se extiende desde el Golfo Pérsico a Asia, América latina y hasta los polos, y es también una lucha por agua y reservas de minerales vitales. Por sobre todas las cosas, el calentamiento global profundiza la escasez de recursos naturales. El Gran Juego actual es más complejo y peligroso que el anterior.

El más grande de los nuevos jugadores es China, y es ahí donde el patrón emergente es más claro. Las autoridades chinas apostaron todo al crecimiento económico. Sin un aumento del nivel de vida habría un malestar generalizado, lo que podría plantear una amenaza a su poder. Por otra parte, China se encuentra en medio del desplazamiento del campo a la ciudad más grande y rápido de la historia, y es un proceso que no puede detenerse. No hay una alternativa a la continuación del crecimiento, pero éste tiene efectos colaterales graves.

Estamos ante un círculo vicioso, y no sólo en China. Como el crecimiento exige una enorme cantidad de energía y minerales, las empresas chinas recorren el mundo en busca de suministros. El resultado es un vertiginoso aumento de la demanda de recursos finitos. Si bien las reservas de petróleo no están tocando fondo, los días en que el petróleo convencional era barato quedaron atrás para siempre. Los países reaccionan tratando de asegurarse las reservas restantes, entre ellos los que se ven afectados por el cambio climático. Canadá construye bases para hacer frente a los reclamos rusos sobre un casquete polar ártico que se funde, partes del cual también reclaman Noruega, Dinamarca y los Estados Unidos. Gran Bretaña enfrenta reclamos en zonas alrededor del Polo Sur. La lucha por la energía informa muchos de los conflictos que pueden tener lugar.

El peligro no es sólo otra conmoción petrolera que afecte la producción industrial, sino una hambruna. Al no haber una fluida provisión de petróleo para los establecimientos rurales mecanizados, muchas de las góndolas de los supermercados quedarán vacías. Lejos de estar abandonando la dependencia del petróleo, el mundo es mucho más adicto al mismo que antes. No es extraño que los países poderosos se preparen para asegurarse su cuota.

Los países occidentales dominaron la última ronda del gran juego, pero esta vez dependen de los productores de petróleo porque necesitan combustible para seguir jugando. Los países productores, por su parte, se muestran cada vez más seguros. El desprecio de Putin por la opinión mundial podrá irritar a los europeos, pero Europa depende de la energía rusa. Chávez podrá ser objeto del odio de George Bush, pero Venezuela sigue proveyendo alrededor del 10% del petróleo que importan los Estados Unidos. El presidente Ahmadinejad podrá ser la encarnación del mal, pero en momentos en que el barril de petróleo cuesta más de cien dólares todo intento occidental de derrocarlo constituiría un riesgo aterrador.

El poder occidental declina y las potencias emergentes están en conflicto entre sí. China e India rivalizan por el petróleo y el gas natural de Asia central. Taiwán, Vietnam, Malasia e Indonesia se enfrentaron por las reservas submarinas de petróleo del Mar del Sur de China. Arabia Saudita e Irán rivalizan en el Golfo, mientras que Irán y Turquía tienen los ojos puestos en Irak. Una mayor cooperación internacional puede parecer la solución más obvia, pero la realidad es que, a medida que aumenta la competencia por los recursos, el mundo se fragmenta y se divide cada vez más.

Estamos muy lejos del mundo fantástico de hace apenas diez años, cuando los gurúes de moda hablaban de la economía del conocimiento. En realidad, la economía del conocimiento era una ilusión que habían creado el petróleo y el dinero baratos, y los booms siempre terminan en llanto. No es el fin del mundo ni del capitalismo global, sino la misma historia de siempre.

Lo que es diferente esta vez es el cambio climático. El aumento del nivel del mar reduce la provisión de alimentos y agua dulce. El calentamiento global amenaza la provisión de energía, mientras que las represas hidroeléctricas y las plataformas petrolíferas son cada vez menos seguras. En esta ronda del Gran Juego, la escasez de energía y el calentamiento global se refuerzan mutuamente. El resultado sólo puede ser un creciente riesgo de conflicto. En el mundo había unos 1.650 millones de personas cuando se jugó la última ronda. A principios del siglo XXI hay cuatro veces más, y luchan por asegurarse un futuro en un mundo que el cambio climático hace irreconocible. Sería inteligente tomar recaudos para algunas otras rimas de la historia.

John Gray. PROFESOR DE PENSAMIENTO EUROPEO, LONDON SCHOOL OF ECONOMICS.

Copyright Clarín y John Gray, 2008. Traducción de Joaquín Ibarburu

Doors will be opening in 5 minutes.
11:39

Welcome to the Natural Cures Expo!
12:03

we are working on the audio levels
12:09

Dr DaSilva is beginning introductions for our first speaker! Introducing Kevin Trudeau!
12:09

Please go to the 640x480 screen resolution to view the streaming video. The smaller view is still being worked on.
12:10

the lower level is now working. thank you
12:20

Kevin is promoting the fact that healthy people don't take prescription medication
12:22

Nutritional deficiencies are the #1 cause of disease
12:24

"The body can take care of everything if it has proper nutrition."
12:25

"Another cause of disease is electromagnetic chaos."
12:26

"The radiation effects our DNA"
12:27

"Our thoughts also effect our physical well-being. The medical community disagrees with this.
12:34

"We have nutritional deficiencies because the food we are eating has had the nutrients removed through pesticides and germicides."
12:39

"Manufacturers want to increase profit. By genetically altering consumable products to speed up the process of delivering to the consumer."
12:41

"By simply supplementing your diet with organic products that haven't been altered, you add a multitude of nutrients to your system."
12:42

"Organic products fill you up faster because they are full of nutrients, so you feel fuller faster."
12:44

"Toxins are another major detriment to your body."
12:44

"Topical products have more toxic chemicals in them now then ever before in history."
12:45

"Using non-toxic products will help you maintain the normal balance of your body."
12:46

"Using a water filter for your shower and your other sinks will keep flouride from being ingested or being overly-exposed to it."
12:47

"Tumor biopsies are loaded with pesticides and herbicides when researched."
12:49

"45% of people who eat at McDonalds or Burker King develop cancer as opposed to the 40% of people who develop lung cancer."
12:50

"Pasturized food have no enzymes, which prevents proper digestion."
12:52

"Every single drug, both prescription and non-prescription, does not work as effectively as we are told."
12:55

"Research has shown that many drugs are completely ineffective."
12:55

In order to enable your cookies in Internet Explorer, please do the following:
12:59

On your top Menu bar, click on Tools, then Internet Options,
01:00

Go to your Privacy Tab, and then slide the bar on the left to the bottom so it says "Accept all Cookies" and save your choices.
01:01

"Chances are that the drug you are taking for a specific symptom is probably creating more problems in the body than the problem it is trying to fix."
01:02

"The answer to disease is to do things in your diet daily to improve your nutritional consumption."
01:07

"The food industry is producing food that will increase your appetite, make you fat, and make you addicted to their products."
01:09

"You should avoid product with high fructose corn syrup."
01:10

"Raw organic sugar is good. But sugar is rarely used in products anymore. It is too expensive to produce. Producing high fructose corn syrup is cheaper."
01:11

"Manufacturers also discovered that high fructose corn syrup is highly addictive."
01:12

"They began putting it into many of their products."
01:13

"Artificial sweeteners are incredibly toxic, such as Splenda, Sweet n' Low, Equal..."
01:14

You should try to buy products as close to nature as possible.
01:15

"Cleansing your body should be done regularly, about four times a year, to flush out all the toxins that you consume on a daily basis."
01:17

"Starting with a colon cleanse will benefit your overall health tremendously."
01:17

"You should try to neutralize the electromagnetic chaos in your body that comes from the radiation you are around daily, like microwaves, cell phones, wireless internet."
01:18

"Reducing stress is very important because the mind and your thoughts are very powerful tools in maintaining overall good health."
01:19

You can buy Kevin Trudeau's book at promotional prices on our Event Shop page. Get all of Kevin's best-selling books.
01:22

We have special bundles for sale to purchase for yourself or as gifts for others you want to share this information with!
01:23

We will be taking a 30 minute break for product sales which are also available on our Event Shop page.
01:23

5 minutes
01:54

Danny Vierra is a recognized authority within the world of health and nutrition. He attended the Herbal Symposium and the School of Natural Healing. As Director of BellaVita Lifestyle Education Center, Danny creates and teaches classes in herbal cleansing, hydrotherapy, raw food cuisine, and exercise instruction.
02:16

In addition to his extensive health education background, Danny has traveled the globe educating others about nutrition and healthy living. For over 20 years, he has run a successful health food store, which enabled him to develop the unique and amazing Almighty Cleanse™ line, which now includes seven formulas: the popular colon cleanse, and new formulations to help support the liver and gallbladder, the blood, the kidneys and bladder; as well as a whole-body cleansing formula, and a whole-food supplement, Almighty Manna.
02:16

"A large percentage of the animals bred for consumption have either AIDS or leukemia."
02:20

"Animal foods are a major cause of disease."
02:20

"Live food is critical to build your immune system."
02:21

The Bible talks about plants for medicinal purposes.
02:22

There is an extroardinary similarity between chlorophyll of green leaves and human blood.
02:23

If you can't get the nutrients to the cells, they have no value.
02:24

Biblical healings have similarities to the 7 different Almighty Cleanse formulas. Using natural products as biblical characters used herbs and earth for healing.
02:27

Disease can be caused by blockages, toxicity and deficiency, and violation of the laws of health.
02:30

God's laws of Health:
02:30

Nutrition, Exercise, Water, Sunshine, Temperence, Air, Reset, Trust in Divine Power.
02:30

You should cleanse your body the same way you bring your car in for oil changes!
02:34

You need to continue to filter your filter (the colon) so that it can do it's job properly.
02:35

Your entire body rebuilds itself in less than two years
02:37

Cleansing and detoxifying your internal system is crucial for optimal health.
02:53

Danny has created 7 products that are designed to cleanse the elimination organs in the body.
02:54

Almighty Cleanse - Formula 1
02:56

Almighty Cleanse™ Formula 1 regulates your digestive tract and helps expel intestinal build-up. It is one of the most concentrated and gentle natural purification systems available.
02:57

Almighty Cleanse™ - New Formula 2:
02:58

Almighty Cleanse® Formula 2 uses charcoal and unrefined herbs to gently “scrub” your colon walls, possibly eliminating years of build-up. The effectiveness of Formula 2 really gives this cleanse an edge on other cleanses.
02:58

Formula 2 draws away toxins from your internal organs.
03:00

Danny uses the highest quality herbs for his products.
03:03

Almighty Cleanse® Formula 3 Liver/Gallbladder:
03:03

The liver is our bodies’ natural detoxifier, it filters and removes impurities from the blood. A build-up of these toxins can cause a decrease in overall health. Help your body maintain healthy systems by using our entire line of Almighty Cleanse® products – for a whole body cleanse.
03:03

Formula 3 is A unique blend of all natural ingredients to support detoxification and normal function of the liver and gallbladder.
03:05

Almighty Cleanse® Formula 5 Blood:
03:07

Blood is considered the most widespread connective tissue in the body because it connects all our organs to each other. Formula 5 Blood focuses on your circulatory system to help stimulate circulation and maintain healthy detoxification of your entire body.* Help your body maintain healthy systems by using our entire line of Almighty Cleanse® products – for a whole body cleanse
03:08

Parasites cause degenerative diseases.
03:08

Almighty Cleanse® Formula 6 Detox :
03:11

While other products focus on specific systems, Formula 6 Detox supports general, overall body detoxification. Body cleanses are beneficial to help you feel more energized, boost your immune system, and increase your sense of wellbeing. Help your body maintain healthy systems by using our entire line of Almighty Cleanse® products – for a whole body cleanse.
03:11

Almighty Cleanse® Formula 7 Almighty Manna:
03:12

Almighty Manna provides a full range of superfoods, especially to support your body in an Almighty Cleanse®.
03:12

When you cleanse it’s important to give your system the nutrients it needs for better health. Almighty Cleanse® Formula 7 Almighty Manna is a great whole food supplement to nourish your body and boost your energy and wellbeing. Help your body maintain healthy systems by using our entire line of Almighty Cleanse® products – for a whole body cleanse.
03:12

Introducing Julie McLewee!
03:15

We will resume after the lunch break at 1:20 PM Pacific Time.
03:17

Bob Barefoot says, "Listen to Grandma, laughter is the best medicene."
04:32

Bob told a great joke and as everyone laughed he said, "There you go, hear your laughter, I just created $100000 of preventive medicene!"
04:33

"You guys are all 10 times as healthy as when you walked into the building"
04:34

http://barefootscureamerica.com/
05:11

Dr DeSilva
05:27

Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus author , John Gray
05:29

John dances to "I got to move it, move it"
05:31

John is looking to give the best speech ever.
05:31

He invites the crowd to cheer
05:31

New Book: Why Mars and Venus collide
05:32

Studied Alternative health his whole life. Mars/Venus exercise solution book.
05:33

He says research shows that "people that are happily married live longer"
05:34

"Maladies are related to stress."
05:34

"Packaging our food has let our health decline"
05:35

"How do you protect yourself from radiation? Kelp, kelp has iodine"
05:38

John Gray, Live from Palm Springs!
05:40

"Fasting is such a critical part of healing and we've forgotten all about it"
05:41

"When you go to a hospital... they give you an IV... it's glucose, why don't we do that every day? There are no products that put glucose in them... because it doesn't sell"
05:43

John talks about the way men use one part of their brain at once, women use all of their brain at once. "We're literally exausting ourselves in communicating... you can't ask a man how to feel, because then he can't talk"
05:48

"Women have direct roads between feeling and talking, men don't"
05:48

"Men are always waiting for the last minute"
05:49

"Talking stimulates the brain chemical Seratonin"
05:55

"When women are under the same stress as men, moderate stress... like you have fifteen things to do and onlyt time for 10, women have 8 times more blood flow awakens memories"
05:57

"usually memories of everything the man's done bad"
05:57

"because she's run out of seratonin"
05:57

Dr DeSilva:
06:42

ProBiotic=For Life
06:42

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06:43

"What I'm saying is do one little thing... don't do desserts any more. You don't need the sugar, you don't need it"
06:44

"Your body releases insulin to take care of that sugar."
06:46

Human Intestine contains 100 trillion bacteria
06:47

Comprise 4 pounds of our body weight
06:47

Friendly (good) bacteria have a positive influence on:
06:48

immune system.
06:48

Digestive system
06:48

Vitamin Production
06:48

Detoxification
06:48

To Shop for Event Shop items, click on any of the products above the blog at the top of the page to see the great specials
06:49

Destroyers of Good Bacteria:
06:50

AntiBiotics
06:50

Steroids
06:50

Chlorinated water
06:50

Oral contraceptives
06:50

Antacids
06:50

High Sugar Diets
06:50

Diets high in refined sugars
06:50

PROBIOTICS and Immune system... 60% of immune system resides in the intestines
06:51

Why "Total Living Probiotic"?
06:52

Bacteria are packaged and protected, stomach acid does not destroy the bacteria. This process allows the "good bacteria" to be released in the correct areas of the system
06:53

Total Living CoQ-10 is good for Energy on a cellular level. It is the highest concentration in organ meats, it is a potent anti-oxidant
06:54

Patented Process... Bio-solve process. it is three times more bio-available than any other product in the market
06:55

Total Living Omega-3
06:55

good for heart health and maintaining healthy cholesterol
06:56

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06:56

Total Living Vitamin E (E-8)
06:56

Potent anti-oxidant
06:56

Full spectrum of vitamin E in E-8
06:57

Rice N Shine
06:58

Powerful rice brand blend, 120 anti-oxidants, phytosterols
06:59

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06:59

Fivce basic Essentials ...
06:59

Water, Nutrients, Exercise, Sleep, Spirituality
06:59

To Shop for Event Shop items, click on any of the products above the blog at the top of the page to see the great specials
07:01

http://www.curesexpo.com/eventshop.php
07:03

Kevin Trudeau takes the stage and asks everyone to stand up and tell two people they don't know "I'm having a great day!"
07:03

"you're being bombarded by electronic waves"
07:05

"Electromagnetic fields are bad for you, find a way to eliminate the chaos and get a neutralizor"
07:05

"I always lost weight then ballooned back up again"
07:06

To Shop for Event Shop items, click on any of the products above the blog at the top of the page to see the great specials
07:06

"I've asked professionals what they have for weight loss... and none of them really work for me"
07:07

"I found what i was looking for from Germany"
07:07

"Every year, for the last 25 years, more people go on diets... exercising... buying diet foods. But at the same time more people are getting obese and growing fat"
07:08

"Diet food makes you fat"
07:09

"Real food, you're not getting. When a person is overweight, they have 4 basic conditions:"
07:11

1) real physiological hunger
07:11

that is abnormal
07:12

2) People who are overweight have a low metabolism
07:12

3) Uncontrollable compulsive eating habits
07:14

urges to eat even when you're not hungry
07:14

4) When you gain weight it puts away the fat in secure abnormal fat reserves: hips, thighs, buttucks
07:15

"that fat is difficult to burn off"
07:16

"the hypothalmus gland operates abnormally, the German doctor theorized that if he could reset the hypothalmus gland there wouldn't be these issues."
07:20

Dr. Simian's approach consisted of taking a specific substance with a special diet. and with this diet the hypothalmus gland started burning this stored fat reserves in massive amounts"
07:22

"Energy levels grow and there are no cravings for food, no binging on food"
07:22

real physiological hunger
07:23

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07:24

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07:25

The period stretching from the collapse of communism up to the attack on Iraq was a time when western leaders prided themselves on their ignorance of history. They embraced the defining delusion of the post-cold war era: the conflicts of the 20th century are safely behind us, and we have nothing to learn from the past. Backed by America's seemingly invincible military might and the superior productivity of western economies, the world had entered a new epoch of peace and democracy.

Tony Judt has always been a dissenter from this consensus. In Reappraisals the British-born historian, now a university professor in New York, collects 23 essays, written between 1994 and 2006, in which he undertakes a ruthless dissection of the ruling illusions of the post-cold war years - "the years the locusts ate", as he calls them. A book of essays originally published over a period of 12 years may seem an unlikely place to find a systematic analysis of the follies of an era, and it is true that the pieces gathered here cover a remarkable range of writers and themes. There are illuminating assessments of Primo Levi and Hannah Arendt, a superb deconstruction of Blair's Britain, a penetrating discussion of the fall of France in 1940, explorations of Belgium's fractured statehood and the ambiguous position of Romania in Europe, analyses of the Cuba crisis and Kissinger's diplomacy, and much else besides.

This breadth of reference may seem to militate against continuous argument, but in fact these articles and reviews pursue a single overarching theme. Reappraisals is a devastating critique of intellectual life over the past two decades, and it is mostly icons of the left that are smashed. The Marxist historian Eric Hobsbawm is described as "a communist mandarin - with all the confidence and prejudices of his caste", who by ignoring Stalin's crimes "slept through the terror and shame of the age". Louis Althusser, the founder of a hermetic type of Marxism whose gibberish blighted academic discourse for a generation, resembles "a minor medieval scholastic, desperately scrabbling around in categories of his own imagining", whose theories are worth less than "the most obscure theological speculation, which usually had as its goal something of significance".

These are severe judgments, but they are not unjust. Each of these writers insulated his political beliefs from any contact with historical realities - Hobsbawm by affecting a patrician silence, Althusser by retreating into incomprehensibility. As a result they have contributed nothing to understanding the past century. In contrast, Judt praises Arthur Koestler as "the exemplary intellectual" whose courageous nonconformity "has assured him his place in history". He describes Leszek Kolakowski's reply to an "open letter" by EP Thompson in which the British historian berates the Polish philosopher for his departures from socialist orthodoxy as "the most perfectly executed demolition in the history of political argument: no one who reads it will ever take EP Thompson seriously again." In similar vein Judt writes sympathetically of Whittaker Chambers, the American former Communist party member who outed Alger Hiss as a Soviet agent, whose reward for speaking out at great risk to himself was to be defamed and detested by right-thinking liberals. In their different ways, these ex-communists demonstrated a kind of integrity that has been noticeably absent in the paragons of the intellectual left.

Judt is pitiless in his assault on bien-pensant illusions about communism, but his concern is not to rehash the intellectual battles of the cold war. It is to show the chronic unreality of post-cold war thinking, and here his target is as much the American liberal mainstream as neoconservative intellectuals. As Judt points out, both liberal and neocon thinking has suffered from an ingrained provincialism that, when combined with grandiose schemes for rebuilding the world on an American model, helped to precipitate the foreign policy disasters of the Bush era. Thinking of the cold war in narrowly Americocentric terms, neocons along with most liberals never paused to examine the origins of that conflict, which go back all the way to the start of the Soviet regime, and they were unprepared for the new conflicts that followed it. The upshot has been the destruction of Iraq and an accelerating decline in American power, which is now entering a critical phase.

Judt is especially hard on America's liberal hawks. These " tough", "muscular" liberals have collaborated with neocons in injecting into the centre of politics a type of thinking inherited from the old left, he suggests. "They see themselves as having migrated to the opposite shore; but they display precisely the same mix of dogmatic faith and cultural provincialism, not to mention an exuberant enthusiasm for violent political transformation at other people's expense, that marked their fellow-travelling predecessors across the cold war ideological divide." As Judt sees it, left-liberals such as Michael Ignatieff and Paul Berman are not much more than camp followers of the Bush administration. "America's liberal armchair warriors," he writes sharply, "are the 'useful idiots' of the War on Terror." A few pages later, he hammers the point home: "In today's America, neoconservatives generate brutish policies for which liberals provide the ethical fig-leaf. There really is no other difference between them."

Judt entitles the essay in which he takes American liberals to task "The Silence of the Lambs: On the Strange Death of Liberal America". This may be a little overdone. A good many American liberals - not least Barack Obama - were opposed to the Iraq war pretty much from the start. But it is true that the organs of the liberal centre in America - the Washington Post and New York Times, for example - colluded with the Bush administration in a grotesquely ill-judged and demeaning way. The job of countering pro-war disinformation was left to investigative journalists such as Seymour Hersh and Michael Massing, writing in the New Yorker and the New York Review of Books. The voices of those who were opposed to the war from the start - often old-style conservatives and remnants of the anti-imperialist left - were hardly heard in America's mainstream media. The continuing carnage in Iraq is as much the responsibility of the liberals who legitimised the war as it is of the neocons who engineered it.

Analysing the motives of the liberal hawks, Judt finds a yearning for lost moral simplicities: "Long nostalgic for the comforting verities of a simpler time, today's liberal intellectuals have at last discovered a sense of purpose. They are at war with 'Islamo-fascism'." He is surely right about left-liberal moral nostalgia. Though he does not comment on the fact, a similar shift has occurred on this side of the Atlantic where, on some sections of the British left, the US has succeeded the former Soviet Union as the regime appointed by history to bring about a revolutionary transformation in human affairs. Neocons and strong-arm liberals have not lost the taste for bloodshed in faraway places of the fellow-travelling left, they have merely fastened on a different regime as the vehicle for their fantasies of world revolution.

Judt's critique of the role of liberal intellectuals in politics is wide-ranging and unsparing. If his tone is sharp it is because, despite everything, he writes as one of these intellectuals. When he takes seriously a one-state solution for the Palestine/Israel conflict, or suggests looking to Europe for a 21st-century model of the good society, he is as remote from historically realisable possibilities as the writers he criticises. Even when he is wrong, however, Judt writes with fearless integrity and moral seriousness. Like Raymond Aron, the subtle and relentless French polemicist whose spirit breathes through these pages, Judt is a liberal thinker dedicated to demystifying liberal illusions. Reappraisals is an indispensable tract for the times by one of the great political writers of the age.

Le donne vogliono migliorare il loro partner.

E' una loro inclinazione naturale.

Ma è anche una delle cose che può rovinare la relazione!

Se il tuo partner indossa una cravatta allacciata male, non farglielo notare a meno che non sia lui a chiederti come è venuto il nodo alla cravatta.

Lui si sentirebbe trattato come un bambino. Poi si comporta come un bambino. Per forza! Se lo tratti come tale lui si comporta come un bambino!

Le donne tendono a fornire consigli non richiesti.

"Posso aiutarti?", "Lascia che ti  suggerisca questo, lascia che ti suggerisca quello...." ...e in questo modo stai allontanando il tuo partner dalla tua vita.

Quello che gli uomini fanno è quasi la stessa cosa all'opposto.

Gli uomini vogliono dare suggerimenti alle donne, lo sai su cosa? Su come dovrebbero sentirsi!

E tu (uomo) non sai come le donne odiano questa cosa!

Lei è arrabbiata e tu gli dici "non dovresti essere arrabbiata". Gli uomini non capiscono come questo far star male le donne!

Tu sei preoccupata e il tuo partner ti dice "Non ti preoccupare, è una cosa da niente"

E ben presto il rapporto si logora....

SCARICA L'E-BOOK GRATUITO DI JOHN GRAY

"Tanto tempo fa, i marziani e le venusiane si incontrarono, si innamorarono e vissero felici insieme perché si rispettavano e accettavano le loro differenze. Poi arrivarono sulla terra e furono colti da amnesia: si dimenticarono di provenire da pianeti diversi"

"Gli uomini e le donne pensano diversamente, vivono diversamente e soprattutto, parlano lingue diverse, per cui comportamenti simili assumono per gli uni e per le altre significati opposti. Ma allora comunicare è impossibile? Assolutamente no, anzi: capirsi può diventare persino un gioco nel momento in cui si è coscienti delle diversità fra uomo e donna"

John Gray

Oggi ho imparato questo: la diversità scompare nell'istante stesso in cui la comprendi e l'accetti

Grazie John

SCARICA L’E-BOOK GRATUITO DI JOHN GRAY

	Marte e Venere si Innamorano di Nuovo Come ritrovare l'amore dopo una separazione o un divorzio John GrayCompralo su il Giardino dei Libri
	Marte e Venere in Camera da Letto Sesso esplosivo: istrruzioni per l'uso John GrayCompralo su il Giardino dei Libri
	Marte e Venere si corteggiano Dal primo incontro al grande amore John GrayCompralo su il Giardino dei Libri
	Gli Uomini vengono da Marte le Donne da Venere - Edizione economica Imparare a parlarsi per continuare ad amarsi John GrayCompralo su il Giardino dei Libri

Author John Gray will join hosts Bill Wilson and Sonia Ricotti on Lead Out Loud tonight at 8pm ET. Gray's latest book, Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress, furthers the idea that men and women are indeed from different planets. The differences between the sexes have become more evident in today’s hectic, fast-paced world. Except now, the monster known as STRESS has become a main ingredient in our lives and it has successfully invaded our relationships.

Lead Out Loud today with BlogTalkRadio and John Gray.

Aber nicht nur das. Wenn man dem britischen Philosophen Glauben schenken kann, sind die Leitfiguren des gegenwärtigen Atheismus wurzelblind. Sie merken nicht, wie sehr ihr Weltbild – missionarischer Fortschrittsoptimismus – auf christlichem Humus wächst. Und so kritisiert sie Gray sehr grundsätzlich: „Jeder rigorose Atheist müsste dies in Frage stellen.“

Das tun aber nur wenige wie Michel Onfray, den Gray als Kronzeuge seiner Atheismuskritik im Geiste Nietzsches heranzieht: „Viele militante Säkularisten muten wie Priester an. Schlimmer noch, wie Karikaturen von Priestern.“

Selbstblindheit ist deshalb wohl der zentrale Vorwurf, den man den Atheisten machen muss. So weisen sie zwar penetrant auf jede noch so schwache Verbindung zwischen Religion und Gewalt hin. Aber zugleich blenden sie die Gewaltgeschichte des Atheismus aus. Gray: In der Sowjetunion und in China „wurde vorgeführt, was passiert, wenn der Atheismus ein politisches Projekt wird. Das Ergebnis ist eine Ersatzreligion, die nur mit tyrannischen Mitteln aufrechterhalten werden kann. Die heutige Religionskritiker vergessen, dass die glaubensbegründeten Gewaltexzesse des vergangenen Jahrhunderts säkularer Natur waren. In gewisser Weise gilt das auch für die aktuelle Welle des Terrorismus.“

Letztlich ist also das Bemühen der Atheisten (Gray: „Es ist ein seltsamer Humanismus, der ein zutiefst menschliches Bedürfnis verdammt.“) zum Scheitern verurteilt. Religion existiert und wird weiter existieren. Diese Erkenntnis sollten sich auch ihre Feinde vergegenwärtigen – und zwar in ihrem eigenen Interesse. Denn „der Versuch, die Religion abzuschaffen, führt nur dazu, dass sie in grotesker und entstellter Form wiederauftaucht. Ein unkritischer Glaube an die Weltrevolution, an universale Demokratie beleidigt die Vernunft weit mehr als die Mysterien der Religion, und sehr lange wird er sich vermutlich nicht halten.“

Factoids abound in all branches of historical study, and in none more so than local history. Sometimes factoids have existed long enough to have acquired the patina of truth. Take the extraordinary story of the Biddenden Maids, distinctive for the Siamese twins at its centre. Mary and Eliza Chulkhurst are said to have been born in 1100 joined at the hips and shoulders, to have lived until 1134 when one sister died and the other refused to be separated, and to have founded a charity that to this day distributes bread and cheese to the needy in the Kentish village of Biddenden.

Learned papers have challenged the details over the years, including the degree of the twins' conjoining, the century in which they lived and even their family name, which has now been bestowed on a local road. Neither the dates nor any name was recorded until the publication of a broadsheet on the Maids in 1808, but now that these details are themselves ancient, they are taken as gospel.

But the tale with all its trimmings is central to Biddenden's identity. It appears on the internet in various forms, and local historian Prue Stokes seldom goes abroad without coming across someone who has heard of the Maids.

People need stories that make internal sense, and it does no harm to respect a local tradition whose lack of historical evidence has turned it into an article of faith. But it is this need for myth that certain modern thinkers entirely fail to appreciate.

Self-confessed atheists such as Richard Dawkins have published their view of God, that faith in Him is no longer necessary now that science and rational thought have provided all the answers. Science has, they proclaim, removed the need for a creator. It has taken the academic John Gray to point out the many flaws in their logic (Guardian Review, 15th March 2008). He writes: "It's a funny sort of humanism that condemns an impulse that is peculiarly human." And so Dawkins has failed to answer the very question he once posed himself: if religion is no longer needed, why is it on the rise?

The truth of this phenomenon has brought out the venom in atheist proselytisers who, in Gray's view, demonstrate a degree of intolerance that would do credit to the most fundamentalist believers. He argues that their views owe more than they care to admit to Christian thought: "Lying behind secular fundamentalism is a conception of history that derives from religion." It was Christianity that first spread the idea that human destiny is not cyclical but linear, travelling towards a predetermined goal which is salvation. "Belief in progress is a relic of the Christian view of history as a universal narrative."

Instead, it is this notion Gray describes as myth and article of faith: "In fact, while scientific knowledge increases cumulatively, nothing of the kind happens in society... Knowledge grows, but human beings remain much the same."

He goes on: "The idea of progress in history is a myth created by the need for meaning."

So it's true we need our stories and our myths. "Religions have served many purposes," continues Gray, "but at bottom they answer to a need for meaning that is met by myth rather than by explanation."

The Gray view of humanity is a bleak one, and I have rendered here only a fraction of the scope of his article. As for God, his existence seems to matter little to Gray who does not pronounce one way of the other.

It may be a feature of our rationalism that we want physical evidence for the stories we have grown up with. Since the holy grail of medieval tales we have wished, like doubting Thomases, for something concrete to connect us to the Bible's ethereal and distant reality. Didn't we want so much to believe in the Shroud of Turin? Perhaps that too is a deeply human impulse. As post-enlightenment believers we seem to be caught between two worlds.

So perhaps it takes maturity to accept that in some things, this wish can never be fulfilled. This must apply as much to history, where evidence is buried by time, as to religion. A former rector of Biddenden, living in the 19th century, once received a letter from a friend containing some poems by a 12th century English monk, Bernard of Morlaix. As the monk complained of society's unbelief and warned of divine retribution in the guise of extraordinary happenings, he wrote of two maids who, if the reader would but believe him, were physically joined. The good rector took this to be incontrovertible proof of the legend of the Biddenden Maids.

To this story our local historian Prue Stokes adds another twist. An Australian man emailed her recently to say he planned to use the birth year of the Maids, as disseminated on the internet, as a means to date the poems of Bernard of Morlaix. Oliver Rackham might have added that some factoids display circular qualities.

Mars, for instance, has not forgotten a trivial fact since 1957 (does anyone else remember what pantyhose Joe Namath wore in that famous commercial? Or even who Joe Namath was?). But he cannot remember that two nights ago I told him I wanted to keep the latest edition of Seattle Magazine so I could blog about the ad on the back cover.

Last week, he mentioned hearing John Gray on the podcast, Authors on Tour Live! Gray, you may remember, is the man who wrote the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. He has a new book out called, Why Mars and Venus Collide, and Mars (my husband, that is) was very excited about it.

"He has the answer," Mars said. "To everything! Stress, our relationship, our busy lives, time together -- everything!" OK, so I kicked up the enthusiasm. Emotional levels of 1-2 on a scale of 1-10 aren't that interesting to read. But for him, he was very enthusiastic.

"So what's the answer?" I asked.

"It's easy," he said. "We need to have sex once a week!"

I stood there goggling at him. Finally, I said, "OK."

"Seriously! You have to listen to the podcast. It's all about hormones: testosterone for me and oxytocin for you. But basically, we just need to have sex once a week."

Hormones, schmormones. I couldn't care less what his reasoning was. He's suggesting more sex, I am all over that, baby! "OK," I said again. "Or more. More would be all right too."

Today I finally got around to listening to the podcast, and indeed, John Gray recommended we have sex at least once a week. And he did, indeed, talk a lot about testosterone and oxytocin.

But he also said -- and this came as a complete surprise since Mars didn't even allude to it -- that we need romance. In fact, he virtually never said "sex" without saying "sex and romance" or "romance and sex."

Yep, men -- and their selective memory -- are definitely from another planet.