It's official: Archer is starting to have more fun, reacting to the world around him. I could swear that he's laughed in his sleep more than a few times, but I've yet to capture that rare gem of a moment. You'll have to sate yourself with this collection of cuteness (starting with a video!) Enjoy!

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Since my wife and I skipped the McCain - Palin rally this morning we decided to grab some breakfast at the Waffletown on Pleasure House Rd.  What the heck, my mom was watching the little poop maker so we had some time on our hands.

It was nice arriving at this normally busy restaurant and not having the place crowded.  Probably because most cool folks were at the rally...

After taking our seats we became more and more aware that all the fashionable people were at the rally and we were here with a bunch of losers.

Oh well, sorry.  Let me get back on topic.

We placed our drink orders when a small portly lady dressed in dark cloths and a name tag was seated nearby.  Shortly after sitting she was on her cell phone.  This woman actually placed her order while yakking on the phone.

I know we've all experienced this before, but get this, we could hear BOTH side of the conversation!  I'm not kidding.  This rotund mouth flapper was on speaker with her mother!

Little Round Miss Prattle just kept spewing drivel throughout her meal.  This globular bovine was talking straight through her eggs and sausage.

Then I realized something amazing, her mother wasn't on speaker.  It was just the damn volumn!  Sheeez....

This is one of those times that I just have to say something.  Anything.  My wife doesn't like it when I start acting like an ass, so instead of walking over and embarrassing this woman, I just made a few comments.

I started with, "OMG, I just realized that's not a radio, that's her mother on the other end of the phone!"

"Did she just say.... (whisper, whisper, whisper...)?"

"Wow, I guess she turned the speaker off."

"Did you notice she's eating and yakking on the phone at the same time?"

"How can she eat so fast while she talks?"

"She finished already?  That's some heavy magic!"

My wife is horrified by this, but I wasn't loud.  Plus it was funny as hell.

To top it all off, her pucker pout never stopped even while she paid.

Come on people, turn the phone off.

That is all.

click video

Fruitier also offers a range of other delights, including radio sessions by High Five and Prefab Sprout, live sets by Felt and the Go-Betweens, and – with its editor’s permission – a full scan of I think the first issue of Hungry beat (Kevin will correct me if I’m wrong, though he may not thank me for pointing you in its direction).

Sarah Palin or Tina Fey, we're not sure

Palin, who has been watching Russia from her home now "for years", is excited about the trip, "I plan on bringing them a Salmon and I am really excited about receiving a gift in return", said the adventurer, "Perhaps they will give me a traditional head-dress or tribal jewelry".

Picture of Niagra Falls, Ontario provided by Palin camp

Palin has said that if elected Vice President there is a good chance she will travel even more. "My intention is to try and go to a foreign country at least once a year if elected", said the jet setter, "I'm thinking Utah next".

Palin has insisted that just because she hasn't been to any foreign countries doesn't mean she isn't aware they exist. "I've heard of countries like Africa and South America", said a defiant Palin, "And I have full intentions of visiting them as well as soon as I printout the mapquest directions".

Palin has said that they plan to take the trip to Canada shortly after her daughter, Bristol, gives birth and before she has time to get pregnant again.

"So... should I maybe empty my pockets, you know, take all my knives and bombs out?"
"Young man, relax... I'm gonna have to put my hands all over this delicious body of yours anyway, don't worry." Sarcasm visible through thin air.
Starts patting legs. Interesting to mention that Fernando was wearing very annoying 1000-pocket trousers, particularly amusing for the situation.
"Man, I could get used to this stuff!"
"Ok I'm done, go before you ask my phone number..."
"Hmm, maybe next time then?"
"Oh next time I'm gonna charge you for that!"
"Thank you, have a nice evening!"
Tough guy laughs. Finally. I was already running out of options.

Now, back to the usual, quiet, nearly dead, self. Myself.
Mission accomplished.

Warning! 18+PL

Dear Penis

Quirks

I am a Virgo, what more can I say.  I absolutely love straightening skew things - things hung wrong can agitate me sometimes (ok FINE most times) to distraction

Food - I am a very VERY visual person which means that while eating a meal (any meal) there can't be any talk of cut off limbs, animals or anything even remotely linked to the food I am eating.  If the topic arises and I get the visual (I literally think visually) then I can't eat, I have to put my plate to one side and if the topic continues after I've asked for it to be changed I leave the table.

I will do anything for anyone who has compassion and kindness of heart, if you don't have those then generally I can come across like a cold hearted poodle. 

I am very slow to anger, it can take ages and ages to get a rise out of me but push me long and hard enough I scare people.  It's just one of those things, a panda bear turns into a tiger - never physical but I have a sharp tongue especially when people I love are in danger. Ok actually in all honesty am like panda with rabies.

Please always remember to wipe tomato sauce bottle at the top, that gunk grosses me out beyond words... I can just see all the little germs nibbling away going "yum yum burp". Gross.

I don't do sweaty armpits. This came about after standing on a London tube in rush hour traffic.  The tube was so SO so packed that I had to stand gripping the rail in the centre, my nose fit quite snuggly into his armpit.  My smelling abilities have been hindered since and the faintest smell of sweat sends me into flashsmellback attacks.

Addictions

Hmm well I don't really have an addictive nature, I mean they say its in my DNA and all but I am yet to see it for real.

I'm not addicted to cookies, I never eat them for breakfast nor lunch and most definitely not for dinner.

I have never ever smoked, I mean gross! No, seriously I have never ever lit a smoke.

I absolutely hate chocolate, that sweet taste melting all over your teeth and then getting on your chin... YURGH

I hardly ever read blogs, I mean come on now, seriously... read??? BLOGS? ME? Forget about it (Marlon Brando voice over)

I hate learning new things, such a waste of time

Painting and the smell of oils drive me nuts, how people can stand to be around it let alone PAINT with it I just don't know.  Pure insanity!

The sound of a camera's shutter gets a bit repetitive, why have they never invented a silent shutter and click? Perhaps its just me but click click click = straightjacket material

Tagged?

Yers you are IT!

Sax waking us up

My mother had read her copy of 'Dr Spock' backward and forward and every attempt was made to incorporate this new (and difficult) baby without putting my cute, precocious little snub nose out of joint.  Before the birth my Mum taught me to read so I could be distracted while she fed the new baby; she consulted me about how the baby's room would look.  She unknowingly created a little control monster.  Who could read.  Your basic nightmare, really. Her plan was to bring my sister Em in as 'our baby'.

"Let's feed out baby!"
"Let's change our baby's nappy!"
"What shall we dress our baby in?"  And so on, and so forth...

This seemed to work brilliantly for a while, but some months in, just as she was finding her feet with the whole mother-of-two thing, just as she was getting over the pain of her milk drying up as a consequence of abject rejection from the coliccy-our-baby-Em, I did what children the world over do: the unexpected.

We had fed 'our baby'...we had bathed 'our baby'...we had changed 'our baby' and then my Mum suggested:
"Let's put our baby to bed!"  In retrospect, I guess I must have just been OVER the sibling thing!!  That or I was bored with reading the spines of the orange Penguin books in the bookshelf.
"MY baby!" I said, before snatching my infant sister out of Mums arms, stomping off to the nursery and hurling her up, up, up in the air above her cot.  While the baby went into freefall, I wiped my hands twice (a job well done) and walked out to the loungeroom, presumably to watch a bit of Sesame Street - Boy, I loved that show!

I know this story well, from being told it seventy billion times as an illustration of my early, efficient personality, so I know that our baby, quite miraculously, landed in her cot, eyes wide open.  And, to her credit, she didn't even start to cry until my Mum started howling.

Knowing me, I turned the Sesame Street up, so I could hear it over the noise the two of them made in our little house.  And thus family lore was made.

My sister has been travelling around the USA for the last three weeks, so you know she survived me.  Surprisingly. 
And I miss her. 
See, Em?  I never really wanted to kill you!

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "fun?"

here:

shabang shabang (샤방샤방) means like you know when hot, handsome, and pretty people smile, it seems like some kind of beam of light comes out from that people, u know? along with some flowers~ (if you see lots of manga, you'll know what i mean).. we often use shabang shabang in that situation... it just simply mean that they are hot ㅋㅋㅋ

and ㅋ means laugh-
like 크크크 or hahahahaha something like that;but people are too lazy to right the fool character, 크, down.. so instead we are using ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ as laughter. Just like in here we use 'lol'

example:

WONBIN'S SHABANG SHABANG SMILE <3333

Look Out For That Shark! ... I mean Tongue!

I took about 15 or so shots of Bingo in a row that when looked at
quickly looks like he is literally ROFLMAO.  This is just one.
Am having my Tech Support put them into a GIF and make
Bingo literally ROFLMAO.  :)

AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. *

Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies. *

Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key. *

A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally. *

A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer." *

An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse. *

Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?" *

Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first. *

In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems. *

True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop: Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?" Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?" Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?" Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?" Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer." Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it." At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive. *

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine." *

Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: "I don't have a 'P'." Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "What do you mean?" Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

Got a call from a woman said that her laser printer was having problems, the bottom half of her printed sheets were coming out blurry. It seemed strange that the printer was smearing only the bottom half. I walked her through the basics, then went over and printed out a test sheet. It printed fine. I asked her to print a sheet, so she sent a job to the printer. As the paper started coming out, she yanked it out and showed it to me. I told her to wait until the paper came out on its own. Problem solved.

I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine. Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this yellow paper?"

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech support number, complaining about the error message: "Can't find the printer." On the phone, the man said he even held the printer up in front of the screen, but the computer still couldn't find it.

And another user was all confused about why the cursor always moved in the opposite direction from the movement of the mouse. She also complained that the buttons were difficult to depress. She was very embarrassed when we asked her to rotate the mouse so the tail pointed away from her.

For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and immediately got a distressed look on her face. She called the tutor over and explained that no matter what she typed, nothing would happen. The tutor tried everything. By this time I was hiding behind my monitor and quaking red-faced. I typed, "Leave me alone!" They both jumped back as this appeared on their screen. "What the..." the tutor said. I typed, "I said leave me alone!" The kid got real upset. "I didn't do anything to it, I swear!" It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. The conversation between them and HAL 2000 went on for an amazing five minutes. Me: "Don't touch me!" Her: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit your keys that hard." Me: "Who do you think you are anyway?!" Etc. Finally, I couldn't contain myself any longer, and fell out of my chair laughing. After they had realized what I had done, they both turned beet red. Funny, I never got more than a C- in that class.

This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access Denied" message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his username and password in capital letters. Tech Support: "OK, let's try once more, but use lower case letters." Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."

Email from a friend: "CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?"

My friend was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest, staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position, only now she was impatiently tapping her foot. He asked if she needed help and she replied, "It's about time! I pressed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!"