Just been up at the chalet for a few days.  So following on from the previous psychosis, more of the same - except it develops and grows.  I see a lot of correspondences between Leonard's life and mine which I never saw before.  I can't list them here - they emerge as I read the poems.

You know that story about the guy who found out one day that he'd been speaking prose all his life?  Well, I've been speaking in poetry for the last few weeks.  There seems little or no division between ordinary thought and the poems I write or invent.

I am bereft and in the wilderness with my art.  And all I know how to do is to keep on asking this, to keep on putting out these communications to the one man who I feel is a kindred spirit.  I don't see anyone else to connect with.

Anyway, here are some poems.

(after seeing Leonard being enrolled in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame - a bizarre experience)

Hall of Fame

To those celebrated people

who were addicted to your name

and never did a line

of Cohen in their lives

(except one)

- let me take you down

I have you in my sights

(a companion piece, about Leonard's reaction)

Caution, Self-Parody Ahead

I watched you rock

with your friends.  I thought

who are you

and what have you done

with Leonard Cohen.

I think you were channelling Hughie Green

Still I expect it was all

the audience merited

(explanatory note)

I don't mean to say

the fans you have gathered

from your last songs

are not worthy

and I alone deserve

that long-distance prize

"class of 1972"

- that is not what I mean.

Cohen's army - you're in it for life!

A poem about writing stuff "on the move" as it were - ie that only by speaking and performing these lines can I nail them.

A Poem on a Page

A poem on a page

is in a sense

an epitaph

It marks the grave

of your heart.

Dear Leonard

You taught me to rehearse your songs until your forehead bleeds - and then do something else entirely.

Dear Leonard

You gave me my best lines

but I had to write them myself

Parker Pen

A lot of men

who make passes

need to remind themselves

just how old

they really are

and a lot of women

really should wear glasses

To Mark

I have committed

marriage

with you

every day of our lives

Finger Poem

to the people at Ambit

who returned my great poem

the flower of my art till then

in my own envelope

in my own handwriting

with my own stamp on it

without even the courtesy

of a fuck-off note

- this note is for you.

(Frogs fucked, in case you didn't gather)

Bart Simpson

People busy screaming

jumping up and down

"I didn't do it!"

like some grotesque yellow

two-dimensional character

Mark

Mark hasn't got

"get-up-and-go"

he's got

"sit-here-and-think"

- I like that in a man

Dear Leonard

In 2008

you were everywhere

your name was mentioned in dispatches

Sayings of Sarada No. 2

I like to follow fashion at a safe distance.  You never know when it's going to turn on you.

Leonard

Thank you for sending your spirit

I knew your body was busy

and your mind was mortgaged

tightrope (my aim as an artist)

to stick a joke in

like a knife between the ribs

and crack a serious comment

while you're still laughing

Tightrope no. 2

What I want

is to write

poems that stand up on the stage

and knock you out

on the page

Zeno's Tortoise

It took my whole life

to get to a point

where my whole life

could begin

We regard the published work as a fait accompli, not a work in progress.  You might as well give us a headstone and have done with it.

Simon and Garfunkel

I find my native land

too busy with ideas

the strangling conversation

- it isn't what we planned

Contact

A car slows; I tense

ready for the inevitable disappointment

If they look in my direction

it's only so that they

can tick me off their list

the list of those not invited

to the wedding or the supper

Dear Leonard

I had to teach myself everything

- but you were my best rabbi

(there isn't a t missing at the end of that word.  Reminds me of my favourite Yorkshire joke:

There was a woman who died.  On her headstone they wanted the inscription:

God, she was thine

The headstone came back with

God, she was thin

They sent it back, saying "There's an "e" missing"

At the funeral the inscription read

"Ee, god, she was thin"

(to understand this you have to know that "ee" is a common interjection in Yorkshire meaning "oh", or something like that.)

A verse from my most heartfelt poem to Cohen.  I hope he phones soon, then I can read my poems down the phone to him like he sang his songs all those years ago to Judy Collins.

There ain't no cure for poetry

I'm counting all my loss

but all my lines converge on this

one station of the cross

let me kneel upon the stage

let me play my tiny part

Come and find my corner

Cohen of my heart.

I used to worry about people stealing stuff from this blog but now I don't care any more.  Nobody reads it except for one or two and they won't = and if anyone else does I don't care.  All they'll have is one verse of mine and I can write millions more.  They can't.

I am the wind

I am the wind

you sailed too close to

I ran my fingers through your hair

I huff and puff

- and I blow your house in

Where's my flower?

It wasn't easy being an artist and mother

I had to be a double act

all by myself

So HELP? I need advice!

But anyways, it's Ramadhan now and I should avoid much activities. >.>
There's much to say but I just can't bring myself to. I love pixelling, and dolling - but it always end up badly. So don't expect any new stuffs from me. I suck at them. Now I find my drawing pretty smooth with the mouse. I love my mouse and ish growing attached to it.

Other than that, I'm starting to love Scientific Calculators! >3
It's lovable and pink. XD I love pink, and wonder who doesn't know that. =)

So anyways, the fact why I named this post as Number One is because I am in love with the song No.1 by BoA, and if you know the English version, it means the thing I'm trying to prove to my boyfriend. <3 And yesh, my boyfriend is my Number One. No matter what. =3

Sorry that this post is pretty short, but it's meaningful to me. <333

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