My personal theory involves a man from Japan. This man appeared on Takeshi's Castle, where it was announced that his occupation is to make wind chimes from neutered pet remnants. This is why Jesse wanted Barack's nuts, so he could have them made into a wind chime. If he had waited closer to Christmas, he could have made his wish known to Santa.

You might be wondering what exactly am I writing about and well I will just give you the major theme. I am writing on Santa Clause and Christianity. I know this is a hot button with many Christians. Some have no problem with Santa, others think that we must reject the ritual all together. Then there are many somewhere in the middle. They struggle with how far to let things go with Santa and yet make it a point to emphasis Jesus Christ more than the idea of Santa. This is a hard topic because of the ingrainedness of Santa in our culture. He is everywhere and to outright reject the ritual can be hard. The book I am writing deals with this struggle for Christians. It will outline just how ingrained Santa has become to the point that Santa Clause has his own religion now (the cult of Santa). Santa has his own gospel and his own theology. This book sets out to explain exactly those things and how they have/can affect the Christian church. The book will end with how the Church can properly respond to these things without fully rejecting the ritual of Santa in order that the church can be a witness.

What is interesting to me is that there have/are three ways the church will respond to Santa. (1) The church acts as though Santa doesn't affect the church and therefore doesn't say anything. (2) The church supports Santa and adopts him into the life of the church. (3) The church rejects Santa and asks all to do the same. I would be interested to know where your church or you stand? Do you see a different option to take?

As I think about Santa I have my own found memories, however, I see that the Santa of my youth is no longer the Santa of today. Maybe my parents shielded me from the Santa cult and his ideology or it has only been recently that this cult has exploded in America. I just want to make sure that my own child will grow up as a follower of Christ and not of Santa.

If you read this please understand that I am not attacking Christians who practice the idea of Santa, but I would curious to hear your own struggles with how, why, and in what manner you separate Jesus and Santa in order that Jesus is God and Santa is just myth.

Have a great Wednesday!

• Kill your family.  Really.  They hate you and have been secretly poisoning your coffee for years.
• Have a pool party.  Get sinfully drunk.  Drown.  Hopefully, you'll be naked when the paramedics find you.
• Join a cult.  The economy has gone to shit and you can no longer afford to either eat or put gas in your car.  Clearly, the end times are near.  And just remember; The more often you allow the cult leader to use your butt as a sex toy, the quicker God makes his big return.
• Take a long bike ride.  Lance Armstrong does this all the time and look what it's gotten him....testicular cancer and Sheryl Crow.
• Have a barbecue.  This is just an excuse for you to get drunk, in front of your family, at noon, while you play with fire.
• Sit around, waiting for me to update this site.  Eventually, you'll tire of my infrequent, random updates and will develop a methamphetamine addiction.  Eventually, you'll re-read this post, while all fucked up on meth.  It goes downhill from there, friend.
• Be gay for a month.  Then, years from now, you can have conversations with your grandchildren and/or care worker that start off with, "So this one summer I decided to be gay for a month...."  This will result in your grandchildren and/or care workers over-medicating you.  See?  Everybody wins!

I have to go get drunk and scream filthy obsenities and the local clergy, now.  When I get back (from jail!) I'll post some more stuff.  Maybe some Sock Puppet Stories later.  Send me money and I'll do whatever you want.  Whatever.  All for now, sinners!

-CHEek
www.SockPuppetsFromHell.com
dan@sockpuppetsfromhell.com

Well, here is a related phenom i've recently discovered: that of folksy black characters appearing in totally unrelated cultures!

For instance, take a look at the case of Haji Firuz, the blackface character who traditionally wears a red outfit (like the American Santa Clause) & helps beckon the Iranian New Year, the Norooz.

Then there's Zwarte Piet, or "Black Peter" from Dutch & Flemish folklore. He acts as Sinterklaas's servant.

Interesting (but not surprising) how in both cases they've got some sort of subservient role... ah, dark iconography. Maybe I'll find more such examples in other cultures.

The Constant Gardner – 4/5 Really Liked It
Slowly paced but in the end you'll be happy you saw this one. It's a great love story, as well as a great testament to taking action against injustice. To my surprise there was very little gardening going on.

What Would Jesus Buy? – 3/5 Liked It
Could have been so much better. I agreed with the premise, and I even laughed a few times, but it was lacking that punch that could have made this a real winner. It did reinvigorate my quest to kill santa however.

Walk Hard – 3/5 Liked It
I laughed out loud a lot during this movie, especially during the first 30 minutes as they parodied Walk The Line. But then they started showing male appendages and I did a few dry heaves. It also seemed to drag on there at the end, which is weird for a 90 minute movie.

Kite Runner – 5/5 Loved It
It took a good 10 minutes to get used to the sub-titles, but this was a great movie. I may end up reading the book even though I know how it turns out. It's just a well done movie of a really great story.

Punch-Drunk Love – 3/5 Liked It
Quirky movie, but after it gets rolling the second half is pretty good and you find yourself enjoying the characters. Adam Sandler did a really good job in this one.

Stealth – 2/5 Didn't Like It
A Tonia special—she loves the action flicks. Too bad this movie sucked. It's hard to imagine given the stellar cast, but man... so bad. Possibly the worst ending line in a movie ever. I did have fun laughing at it with Tonia though.

The Insider – 4/5 Really Liked It
How can you go wrong with Russell Crowe and Al Pacino? I'm not sure how I missed this movie nine years ago, but it didn't disappoint. It's kinda scary how powerful the tobacco companies are. Major props to guys like Jeffrey Wigand who are willing to put their lives on the line for what's right.

I sent my wife and daughter ahead, keeping my son with me. I figure if the real purpose of camp is to have fun and to be involved, then my wife could not do that taking care of two children. Besides, I could use the time with my son.

I dropped him off at the baby-sitters this morning and he could have not have cared any less if I was leaving. Granted, the nice lady is from our Church, but still! Oh, nevermind.

Anyway, so my wife and daughter are at camp some 400 miles away. I miss them very much already, and I know that they miss me as well. I might be going Wednesday afternoon, but if I can get out of it, I just might. See, I don't like camp. I don't like summer, being hot, or southern Indiana. Sure, I spent about 10 months in that neck of the woods, but to be honest, I didn't like it then. The people are great, truly, not Appalachians, but fine regardless. It is the terrain. I grew up in flat land, and now that I have lived in the mountains for nearly 6 years, well, I don't favour the flat land any more.

Back the point, we have our youth camp in Indiana this week, so I will most likely post some photos this week. Don't be surprised if you see young men and women in modest apparel or women with long hair. You should have guessed this if you had read this blog for any amount of time. Yes, they even have different swim times at the pool. And no public affection is allowed beyond hand holding. (Not a fan of that one for married folk, but they didn't ask me)

So me and my son are here for a few days without the ladies of the house. He is 4 years old, but we still manage to have a good time!

Well, I guess that that is about it. I will try to post some pictures and other notes later, but... If nothing else, I will post my weekly news bulletins and anything else that I can think of. See, I figured out how to post my Palm Centro. I love wordpress.

Peace - Polycarp

Its May 26. Its about 5 months after Christmas. Why is this game being reviewed at a time like this? Well because this is information we should not hog.

The blog did not exist back then. Twas the Night was an entry in the 1st yoyogames competition. The game has certainly came from a long way.

The Game did come out late you know.Would the wait have been worth it?Look at all the screenshots and you tell me!

"Game Menu"

The game has awesome graphics and music! The Title screen has lovely artwork and it does not stop there.All through the game it feels as the spriters, composers, and modelers were working overtime to deliver this game to the highest

.

Nate Bradley really did outdo himself!

Now that’s enough for the graphics department. Let’s discuss the storyline.

The story remains true to Christmas, it adds in Humbugs as enemies which is truly remarkable.

The beginning cut scenes gets the point across, and many times, look like a console game at some points. All Christmas objects were not neglected. You have carol bells, candy canes, skates, and more to use!!!

"An elf is speaking to Santa"

The best part is the combination systems of the game! The game has 3 separate game genres all in 1! The game is a sidescroller, a platformer, and a Top Down RPG!!!

The view systems work best in each field!

"Santa Riding to the ghetto"

The Particle and Effects are to die for! I am pming Nate Bradley right now to ask for some of them! Santa Claus has motion blurring! Also in the game are many hello signs! The amounts of scripts are humungous, and the game runs as smooth as I with the ladies, which is very great!

“Santa just got a checkpoint!”

The last duty is to deliver presents without being caught by the local residents and you must also eat the cookies, how sweet. The game did not have any cons at all.

The game gets the all time greatest appreciation!

“Look how easy it is to rob someone."

The Game “Twas The Night gets:

10 stars out of 10

In the second picture, below, you can see two winter scenes and a snowman with a belly globe on the right. The colorful tea pot in the back is not a globe, but it is fun to look at. I will share close ups in a later post. The snow globe in the center is the only musical one in this picture.

Thank you for coming and viewing more of my snow globe collection. I hope to add more pictures as well as close ups in the near future and I hope that you will come back to see them.

"There are 13 Jolasveinar, otherwise known as 'Christmas Boys'. They first appeared in the 17th century and are the sons of two trolls, Gryla and Leppaludi.
Gryla and Leppaludi were frightening creatures, and had a reputation for stealing and eating children who are naughty. Leppaludi was bed ridden, so Gryla had to go around the countryside to find food for her husband. At Christmas time, she steals children that have been naughty during the year.
The legend of the Jolasveinar stemmed from this story about Gryla and Leppaludi. When stories about the Jolasveinar first appeared, they were frightening creatures just like their parents. Over the years, they have become milder, gentler creatures.
In the earlier stories, they would arrive one at a time, starting 13 days before Christmas. Each one would do their best to cause minor havoc on Christmas preparations. One would steal the food, another would dirty the clothes, there was one who'd steal the candles; each had their own way to wreak havoc.
Today, they leave little presents for the children who have behaved all year. The children leave their shoes on their window sills and the Jolasveinarv fill their shoes with little gifts. Any children who have been naughty get a potato or some other reminder that good behavior is essential around Christmas."

Ah, the stories we tell children to try and make them behave.  I was never really worried about Santa not bringing me toys.  He usually came through, and I was skeptical from an early age anyway (but believed *just in case*).  I wonder what would happen if we left potatoes for the kids I work with who have been naughty (we'd need a lot of potatoes).  They'd probably throw them at us.  Ouch.  We might have to modify and use mashed potatoes instead...messier, but less painful. 

In this day and age of mass media, it is easy to look up anything and everything online.  One phenomenon that has emerged is the spoiler.  Don't know what a spoiler is? Allow Random Ramblings to educate you. A spoiler is information about a book/movie/tv show/video game/etc that reveals information that will be made public when said artform is released for public consumption.  In other words, it is the giving away of what is going to happen.  This is of course not a new thing-it's just that in the era of the internet, it has shifted forms, much like Dark Helmet when he tricks Princess Vespa by appearing as her father King Roland in the Best Picture Winner* "Spaceballs"

    Spilling secrets is of course not a new thing. Just think about the biggest spoiler of all time-the nonexistence of Santa Clause.  I'm sure there is a phobia that deals with the fear of keeping a secret, but I did not find it on www.phobialist.com.  But while I was there, I did find some rather amusing/disturbing fears: Auluphobia (the fear of flutes), Russophobia (the fear of Russians, which inspired the excellent movie "Red Dawn"), Deipnophobia (fear of dining or dinner conversations) and Bolshephobia (fear of Bolsheviks). So if you were unfortunate enough to have all four of these conditions, one of the worst things you could do is attend a flute recital where they are playing the soundtrack to Rocky IV, and afterwards there is a dinner party where someone reminisces about the WWF tagteam The Bolsheviks.  Unlikely? You'd be surprised. The above describes about 12 Saturdays a year for me. 

But we're focused on spoilers today, and why people are so fixated on them. It is hard to remember just how much things were different before the internet.  I remember in the late 80's/early to mid 90's the second set of Star Wars were whispered about, but only if you were in certain circles (generally the "guys" circles, and not the "hey, want to go on a date with me?" circles).  Now, you are lucky if you can make it through a season of your favorite show without finding out who dies/lives/moves/drowns.  Can you imagine seeing "The Empire Strikes Back" for the first time and having no clue that *SPOILER ALERT*- Darth Vader was Luke's father?  Even worse, can you imagine having to wait the 3 years until Return of the Jedi? Good thing I was only 3 when Empire came out-if I had been 10 or more years older, I would have gone insane, and been found wandering outside with my whistling lightsaber muttering/screaming "No, that's not possible!".  

I avoid spoilers at all costs. And still there is that little part of me that wants to know certain details.  I guess it is just human nature.  And maybe there is a phobia out there of the fear of keeping a secret.  Perhaps there are clandestine groups out there whose sole purpose is to spoil things for diehard fans of certain forms of entertainment. Groups who went to midnight book sales of Harry Potter and screamed out plot details as children lay on the ground weeping, with their hands over their ears, wishing they had not heard (but knowing they did).  In case there are, I should say that I am definitely not a fan of Lost or The Wire, but instead am impatiently awaiting the season finale of Deal or No Deal**, and the next installment of the book series Animorphs.  Please don't tell me what is going to happen!

*in my head

**If NBC donated a grain of rice to 3rd world countries each time Howie Mandel says the word "deal"  each week, world hunger would end after 2 episodes.

I also  had imaginary friends

I used to look up and see dots flying around not the ones where like you look at a light or anything bright for ages and you get those bright green/yellow lights but just black dots, some with white holes in them. I thought they were spirits. Obviously they were just like insects or something..

I saw  lots of those dots again today and it reminded me... 

Just thought you should know.

Whats something you thought as a child that obviously isnt true?

something  unique would be cool.

Love n hugs

me.

Dear Sock Puppet Staff:

How are you all doing, these days? I am fine. Aside from all the horrors I endure, everyday. And the voices (which are getting louder, by the way) that scream at me to murder the entire Flinstone family. Which is weird, I know, because the Flinstone’s are cartoons. Right? Oh God, I don’t even know anymore….

Anyway, my life is basically shit. But that’s not really new. Ever since I took this fucking job, each year has gotten worse and worse. The worst part of the whole thing is that the only reason I got this job was because I gave the head of the elf union (I think his name was Martin…) a blowjob. He’s since died of multiple axe wounds to the head. Sometimes I wake up crying, I miss him so much. And then I remember I’m the one who killed him and I sit there in bed laughing. Then I usually pass out.

I’d like to thank all of you for sending me all of those letters of support while I was in jail for that thing that we won’t ever talk about ever again because if you bring it up I will fucking snap and kill all of you with sharpened reindeer bones. It meant a lot to me to know that I had friends on the outside. I never actually got to read the letters, incidentally. Because of the nature of my crime, I wasn’t allowed to hold sharp objects or paper. However, the guard who read them to me had a nice accent. Actually, he was Swiss and I couldn’t understand a fucking word he said. I hate him with the passion of a million exploding suns.

I also received all of your Christmas lists this year. I have sad news for all of you. Due to budget cuts, and the fact that I’m a horrible person, I simply can’t make any of it happen. I’m not sure why all of you all wanted the same thing, anyway. That was creepy, if you ask me. What in the name of fucking God do you guys really need that many donkeys for anyway? Please don’t answer that last question. I accidentally fed all of my medication to my goldfish and I wouldn’t be able to deal with your response.

I have to go now. My wife is loading a shotgun and I really should either try and stop her or hide somewhere. She’s now walking through the toy shop, calling my name. I’m going to go bury myself in a snow bank. Enjoy Cinco de Mayo. All for now.

-Santa Clause

older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.

The dwarfish natives of the Arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensibile rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.

Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child of the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen in time.

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.

Ho.
Ho.
Ho.

Yeah, it's been a while, comparative to the time between me posting previous message as such. It's just, nothing of much interest has happened. I'm just going to have to put together a random post which probably won't be that interesting, BUT! It's a friday, so I'm happy for now, I just need to arrange to meet ma petite amie, then I shall feel wonderfulll : ) But yeahhh, Going to town with mes amis George et Fern le samedi soir. So she could come then, or I could arrange for Sundays. Hums!
What a difficult desicion.

Also I do apologise for the french. I feel like I'm in a french mood. Oh Mys. Probably making up for the French cover lesson we had today with the women who can hardly speak English, let alone French. That was an odd lesson, sadly mien freund Alex was not there, and the other Matt is shit to talk to. (He's gay by the way) So basically I sat and listened to music, as that is what I do best.

Also I apologise for the German, I don't even do German, WTF? Ahh well I must be in a languagy mood today. I do apologise if you don't understand French or German. Next I'll be speaking in Russian : o

Но в любом случае, я поехал в город сегодня, на короткое время с моей подругой, но большинство с Папоротник, как она ждала Коннора, который никогда не был так она отправилась домой.

O shi- Yeah.. I don't speak Russian unfortunately : ( so for those of you like me who cant read it, It said:
But anyway, I went into town today for a short time with my girlfriend but most with Fern as she was waiting for Connor, who never came so she went home.

So when Fern went home I got on mien bus and sat on mien freund Emma's lap all the way home as there were no other seats and she requested it. (bit odd) but yeah, she is like 16.. but she looks much older. Its rather confusing. In a sexually explitic way. She secretly wants to be Santa Clause. Best to not ask.

Thats a really old picture, but its purty, So it is alright. Lamp post = )

Anyway I'm getting a tad bored with trying to find things to write about so things happen so meep : ) I shall be seeing ya'll around...

xXxbubixXx

He is a picture-perfect example of the pursuit of power gone wrong. Power for religious purposes. And power for it’s own corrupting sake. Nevermind his highly questionable record as governor of Arkansas. The man was a joke from the beginning. The fat lady isn’t singing. She’s laughing. Goodbye Huckabee.

The AP quotes Huckabee saying “We started this effort with very little recognition and virtually no resources…We ended with slightly more recognition and very few resources.” I have a hard time believing he should be enjoying that slight increase in recognition. Huckabee will be known as the extremist Christian candidate. The candidate who enjoyed popularity only within the Southern Bible Belt. The candidate who was not supported because of solid economic or political principles, but because of how his support could identify with him, his Christianity.

What Huckabee failed to understand, and still fails to understand, is the vast umbrella that is Christianity. He misunderstands that the presidency is not a position with which to mold the nation into a Federalized Church, Separation of Church and State eat your heart out. In the end, he wound up making those in my faith, Christianity, continue to look like know-nothings and moral fear-mongers, amongst other things. No, “keeping the faith,” Mr. Huckabee, means keeping those who wear their religious heart on their sleeve out of presidential politics.

“Huckabee rarely raised a negative word during the campaign about McCain, a man he clearly likes.” No statement is more telling about the true nature of Huckabee’s political idealism. If one bad apple spoils the bunch, then Huckabee’s pleasure with McCain screams the Huckster’s own moderate and liberal bent.

"When you grow up and life's a struggle, you have a whole different understanding of what most people are going through," he said in one ad. "Most Americans want their next president to remind them of the guy they work with — not the guy who laid them off." Huckabee was just another candidate with the belief that government is the answer to people’s problems. Life’s a struggle for everyone who comes out of the womb. That’s the cold, hard truth. Most Americans, Huckabee, want a president who leads. Forget the fantasy that a president is supposed to be like Santa Clause and we citizens are all waiting for our turn on Santa’s lap to discuss the problems we face. And part of that leadership for which a president is responsible is to have sound economic policy. Which includes keeping taxes down, keeping the federal government out of the lives of citizens as much as possible among other things. In fact, unless we are all self-employed or are an agrarian-based economy, it is that same employer who lays us off who provides us the job in the first place.

If you want fire-side chats and feel-good government, Huckabee, transport yourself back to the 1930’s. FDR will be glad to take care of you. But until you do that, I’m joining in with the fat lady.

On a less serious note (ha), I almost told my theology teacher to go suck it today. He's this adorable man that gets really excited about teaching, but I just got fed up with the subject matter this afternoon. The class, "Death and Rebirth", discusses everything associated with dying:  heaven, hell, purgatory, etc. We read an article last night that discussed how there is no afterlife; it stated, basically, that life ends when we die so we must make the most out of living while we're here. My teacher seemed to agree with this and I wanted so badly to ring his neck. He said, "Well, only a ridiculous person believes in life after death." He actually compared it to believing in Santa Clause. I wanted to respond, "With all due respect, sir, we have proved Santa doesn't exist. We've been to the North Pole and he's not fucking there. Adults do not go about their daily lives trying to do decent things so they land on his "nice" list."

I'm sorry, but if we can't prove that there isn't a life after death, then what's so fucking pathetic about believing in it? What's the point of saving the planet or doing good deeds if they'll all just disappear in the end. I mean, sure, you'll be remembered by loved ones when you die, but then eventually they die, and their loved ones die, and so on; eventually you just end up being a great-great-great-great grandmother that nobody knows anything about. What's the point of returning that purse you found in the bathroom if there is no God beyond this realm and therefore no sin will really matter when we're gone? Sure, some people just have a really good fucking conscience, but deep down everybody wants to keep that purse; if not for God and the possibility of heaven, then for karma (which is kind of the same thing....what goes around, comes around...eventually). If I want to believe that perished loved ones went to a better place, then let me fucking believe it. Don't walk all over my convictions just because they may be a little far-fetched. I feel as if this class is trying to steal really important ideals from me that I have about dying. In most cases I like to know as much as I can about something, but when it comes to what happens when we die, ignorance really is bliss.

     Daca il intrebi pe un catalun: "de ce nu faceti cadouri de Craciun?" iti va raspunde ca ei fac asta de Rey (Rei). Dar ce este cu aceasta sarbatoare? Cine sunt Los Reys/Reis? In 6 ianuarie, ziua de boboteaza in toata lumea crestina, este ziua in care in Spania se celebreaza Los Reys (Regii). De altfel, aceasta sarbatoare o umbreste cu mult atat pe cea de craciun cat si pe cea de boboteaza.

     Termenul "rege" este folosit pentru ai desemna pe magi. Se spune ca in aceasta zi Regii Magi s-au prezentat in fata pruncului Isus si i-au adus daruri. Oarecum, acesta este adevaratul motiv pentru care catalunii/spaniolii in aceasta zi ofera cadouri copiilor lor. O particularitate a acestei sarbatori este data de carurile alegorice care circula prin oras in seara de ajun. Din aceste caruri Regii Magi ofera bomboane sau caramele copiilor. Uneori din cauza aglumeratiei din jurul carurilor s-a preferat ca bomboanele/caramelele sa fie aruncate spre multime.