I need you to do me and the English language a favour. Can you come up with a gender neutral singular pronoun? When I write, I tend to use 'he' and 'she' in equal balance for gender-unspecified singular persons.

I see how and why you would object to this, and I think I do, too. I think this is an interesting exposure of how gender specific language is. Even when the gender isn't specified, the rules of English compel us to specify one of two genders. Hey look! A microcosm of society!

Problem being, most people solve this (or commit a grammatical error) by referring to ungendered singular persons as 'they', which is grammatically incorrect. English specifies three pronouns here: 'he' or 'she' for singular, and 'they' for plural.

I would like to know your thoughts, as a writer and queer activist, on how to solve this dilemma. It is curious that the answer might be the problem. Perhaps 'they', ungendered and plural, is fittingly applied to catch gender identity in its plural state. I don't feel that pluralising gender is any kind of solution, though. Just because you are not male or female, does not mean that you are both male and female. As I understand it, a lot of the notion of queer gender is not deciding between male and female, or even finding a middle ground, but perhaps associating with an 'other' that isn't traditionally recognised. I am ignorant of the current thought on this. I am ignorant of your thoughts on this.

So, solve my linguistic riddle and assuage my grammatical conscience.

Chris

Max replied:

ah yes indeed - English does force us into this unfortunate situation.

A trendy set of gender neutral pronouns which are used by trans/gender theorists (including me & Kate Bornstein) is ze/ hir, as in he, she, ze, him, her, hir - which is pretty sweet in writing because it doesn't look too weird (though weird enough), but obviously is a bit problematic in speech (hir sounding the same as her), but I'm ok with this.

Spivak uses the pronouns ey/ em, as in a singular of they/ them, but to me this sounds and looks too weird and people probably won't know what the fuck you are doing / you can lose the meaning of the whole thing (ze/ hir does look like a pronoun).

Also, hermaphrodyke Del LaGrace Volcano uses herm/ herm's - I think that's pretty cool too. Volcano says: “Herm is a term that works in some instances better than others. Her and him equals herm, it’s also short for HERMaphroDYKE and is a play on words. I also use male pronouns in my everyday life because that is the gender people see and I don’t have the time or energy to educate every person I meet, some of whom moght want to cause me harm if they knew I was a transgendered intersexed queer! However, since what people see is not just a ‘man’ but what looks to them like a short chubby gay man using male pronouns does not guarantee physical safety.” (in G3 Magazine, September, 2008)

All of these however I fear you might not be able to get away with in 'official' / formal / legal writing. In which case, I recommend (politically) that you use the feminine she/her throughout. This is because in theworld at large the masculine/male is considered universal. So by using the feminine, you put women back in (to writing/'reality'). By using both, I fear (politically) it comes across as 'equal', when things aren't.  That is, even if you always used only feminine pronouns, you would not come close to making even the number of feminine and masculine pronouns in use.

Queer love,

Max

I would like to talk about an article I recently discovered in the 2006 September/October issue of Colorlines Magazine. The article, Closeted violence: Abuse between queer women of color, by Celina R. De Leon is an attempt to discuss the hidden issue of violence in queer women of color communities. In any type of intimate relationship there are problems, and while heterosexual IPV is now out there in the mainstream, being discussed and studied, there is less publicity and less work around queer communities, especially queer of color communities. De Leon and other scholars who have conducted interviews with countless survivors and former agressors suggest that the reasons behind this double silence may have be heavily influenced by homophobia and racism.

There are a number of different issues at stake for queer communities of color. First, in many people of color communities, homophobia is a major issue, and so queer folks often feel they are already stigmatized and will be blamed and told whatever they suffered is deserved. Another issue, from within queer communities of color is that people from within the community may be reluctant to believe that another member could inflict violence and abuse. Racism may also effect survivors' willingness to contact legal authorities due to long histories of institutionalized violence in particular communities of color. At the same time, institutionalized homophobia may also influence one's decision to file charges against an abuser because it may result in their partner being placed in a potentially dangerous situation. Other barriers that individuals may consider too great to risk for themselves or their partners include immigration status, criminal record, skin color, or self-identification. For instance, many shelters are not equipped to take in transpersons, or will refuse to place them with the gender group with whom they may identify. Similarly, jails and prisons will place prisoners based on biological sex, which may expose an inmate to violence while in custody.

De Leon also discusses the issue of activist enclaves and how domestic issues may impact the work that organizers who are implicated in such disputes may have. The partner of a well-known activist who complained about abuse in their relationship was disregarded by her community because no one believed that such a person could commit violent acts. However, as we here at Silent Marks discuss all the time, it's not just about violence per se, but about other types of abuse, psychological and emotional as well. Many times claims against an abuser will not hold up if there is not physical evidence, photographs of bruises, witnesses, and exam results, marks and scars. And even in cases where strong evidence is present, women and men may be told that they should "suck it up," or "be strong enough to take it." Still another problem is when individuals try to defend themselves or fight back. If authorities are called in, say by a concerned neighbor, they may see an act of self defense as one of agression and arrest the wrong person, or may assume that a person who is presenting a "masculine" identity is automatically the agressor.

With the numerous social service gaps for people of color communities, for queer communities, and queer communities of color, and with the number of complicated issues that arise in these contexts, many scholars and activists suggest that interventions need to come from communities themselves. There needs to be more education, outreach, appropriate services, more discussion, less silence. People need to know what constitutes appropriate behavior, they need to know what their options are, and they need to have options. We need to be more understanding as community members, as loved ones, family members and listen to one another better. But we also need to open ourselves up to the possibility that violence and abuse does not always fit the cookie cutter mold presented on the television or in popular media. We also need to acknowledge that no matter who you are or who you love, you deserve to feel safe and happy. Furthermore, we need police, doctors, couselors, shelter staff, and others who understand IPV in non-heteronormative contexts and who can provide safe spaces for survivors and aggressors, alike, no matter what they look like.

After several calls for the kettle to be put one, i can hear the sweet chimes of mugs being carelessly placed on the kitchen top. Soon all will be well. I can curl up in my bed with my laptop, a blanket and a warm mug. From this fortress i hide from the world. Here it doesn't matter who i am or what i will be. All is well beneath the sheets and behind the steam rising from the mug.

But when the mug is empty, reality must be confronted. I am in need of a shave, some breakfast and some severe psychotherapy. I am wasting what is supposed to be the best few years of my life debating the fundamentals of my identity. I read that one is supposed to be carefree and innocent. I feel like a husk: the broken shell of a veteran of life and i have barely left the start. Is this a common feeling? Are we all this disenchanted? If we are, why hold up the veneer of a happy life? If not, what am i missing and why won't anyone assist?

And i am tired of rhetoric.

I feel genderless in the worst way. I have no desire to be either. My apathy will be the end of me. I feel no pull from either male or female sides of myself. I desperately wish i could just fit the binary. Is that cowardly of me? Should i push and strive to be an individual outside of what society accepts? What if i am too scared? As bad as it sounds i would like a comfortable life. I want to be accepted as who i am but if i can't find acceptance i am not strong enough to push for it. I could easily live as a woman or a man. I admire those who sit between and fend off those who criticise and mock.

I hate myself for not being strong enough to break out of the dichotomy. Perhaps it will happen in time. I crave adventure in nearly all other aspects of my life. If adrenaline is not stampeding through my veins i feel like i am not really living. Yet i cannot stand up for myself and take control when it comes to my gender.

I am starting a fresh term at university. Perhaps this could be a turning point. Perhaps i have used the word 'perhaps' too often in this entry. Unknowns and possibilities are all that i have.

Perhaps i need another dose of hot drink and blankets...

x

Etter at jeg kom ut sommeren 2006 forandra det seg. Egentlig litt før det også. Jeg klarte ikke å skjule hvor deprimert jeg var før jeg fant ut av ting. Og etter den sommeren følte jeg plutselig at det gikk an å snakke med henne om det meste.

Likevel henger det i at jeg vil beskytte mora mi. Så når hun ringer i kveld og spør hvordan det går, mumler jeg at "det går no". Jeg har vel aldri vært særlig flink til å lyve. Så det ender selvsagt med at jeg griner (nei, testosteronet gjorde ikke at tårene tørka inn) og legger ut om at det ikke er mulig for meg å få noen operasjoner. Jeg er i en blindvei og GID-klinikken har sperra veien ut.

Og mamma blir nok lei seg. Men det er faktisk ikke jeg som gjør at hun blir lei seg; det er GID-klinikken. Ira Haraldsen og Frøydis Hellem har gjort livet vanskelig for mora mi. Og det skal de neimen ikke slippe unna med!

En dag fikk jeg en telefon fra den flotteste dama jeg kjenner. Hun hadde fått innkallelse til GID-klinikken, over 10 år etter ferdig behandling. Faktisk fantes det ikke noe som het GID-klinikk da hun fikk den siste operasjonen. Og nå var hun redd. "Hva skal de med meg?". "Er jeg nødt til å møte opp?". Hun ville ikke ha noe med dem å gjøre, ville ikke bli minna om hvor slitsomt det var å troppe opp på et psykiater-kontor og forsvare hele sin eksistens. Selvsagt kunne de ikke tvinge henne.

Etter utgivelsen av Framandkar fikk jeg mail fra ei dame som har hatt brystkreft. Legene fjerna det ene brystet hennes. Da hun fikk tilbud om å lage et nytt, ville hun heller fjerne det hun hadde igjen, for å bli symmetrisk. Kvinneligheten hennes lå ikke i brystene. Men det er ikke lov å fjerne bryster uten riktig diagnose i Norge, så hun fikk ikke lov. I følge reglene ligger nemlig kvinneligheten i brystene, i tillegg til livmor og eggstokker.

Den mest skremmende historia har jeg fra ei dame jeg blei kjent med på nettet. Hun hadde i likhet med meg fått avslag på GID-klinikken. Hun gikk på kvinnelige hormoner i nærmere ti år uten å få noen operasjon. Så fikk hun testikkelkreft. Hun mener GID-klinikken har skylda. Hvis hun hadde fått riktig behandling ville hun ikke hatt testikler å få kreft i.

Må jeg få dobbelsidig brystkreft og kreft i underlivet for å få fjerna det som må fjernes? Skal jeg sette kreft øverst på ønskelista mi? Har de virkelig klart å gjøre meg gal?

Nei, ikke ennå. Og når jeg møter sånne mennesker som nevnt her, sterke mennesker som har klart seg tross alle prognoser, så føler jeg meg heldig. Jeg har foreløpig integriteten, selvtilliten, psykisk og fysisk helse i behold. Så lenge det varer.

For me, coming out to my mother caused me so much fear. In the back of my mind I knew that I would never lose her love and acceptance, but, still, I feared for the worse. As this week went by, with her here visiting, I found it hard to hide the fact that I had something substantial on my mind. I could see it in her eyes that she knew I had something I needed to talk about. It began to eat me up. 

Last night, as I went to bed, my spouse asked me how I planned to go about coming out to my mom on Sunday. I was not sure if Sunday would be the right day. I told my spouse that I would do it on Monday.  Today came. We had fun with the girls in the morning, including a water balloon fight in which my mom and I both got soaked by little ones. After that I had some homework to do for school. I was also not feeling well. The stress of not talking to my mom was beginning to eat at me, and make me physically ill.  I managed to work my way through my reading, and then I curled up and I cried. With my face in my pillow I cried in my room until my spouse came in. I told her that I could not wait any longer and asked her to go get my mom.

She did, asking my mom to come upstairs for a minute. Then she gave the reassuring words of,"Be strong." I don't think she picked quite the right words before bringing my mom into our room. I was still in tears. After an long embrace, and reassuring my mom first that I was not dying, I explained to her what I have felt and known my whole life and that I was trans. She responded with love and support, concern and reassurance that her love for me would never change. We talked, we laughed, we cried a lot. We talked about hormones, transition, and what the future holds. Later we pulled my step father aside and I came out to him. Again I received words of love, understanding, and support.

A massive weight was lifted from my shoulder today. I received such unconditional love and support from some of the people from whom I value that kind of love and support from. I realized that I have to trust my gut instinct, that I know the people around me so very well. I have formed deep, loving, and trusting relationships with my close family and friends. These are relationship that transcend gender. We accept each other no matter what.

I sit her tonight so grateful for those I have around me, my spouse, my family, my friends. I have many more people to come out to in the future, but the future is a little brighter, a little easier to negotiate with each positive and supportive reaction. This is a difficult journey that we all make, it is one that is filled with so many unknowns. We never really know what lies ahead, how people will react, or what each day will hold. We push ahead anyway, we risk losing it all to become who we truly are inside, to bring our presentation into alignment with the person we are on the inside. We would not take these risks is this were not so vitally important to our living a meaningful and happy life. These are necessary steps. 

I took a risk today, even though it was one I was sure was not a huge risk, and I stepped away from it with the ability to be more honest and true with my mother than I have even been able to be. Her love is so important to me, and I love her so much. Thank you mom for being you and being my mom! And finally and thank you to my friends out there who voiced their support or silently kept me in their thoughts, you are all amazing and I love you all.

Did she notice that I clocked her?  Perhaps.  She seemed to avoid eye contact--not just with me but anyone.  And she looked a bit nervous the whole ride into the city.  Perhaps she was just new but I think she had a bit of passing nervousness in her body language.  I don't blame her and I don't criticize her, it's just what I noticed.  I admired her, in fact, and wish that some day I can present as well as she did.

I've never gone out in public fully dressed.  This has less to do with anxiety about being noticed and more to do with the fact that I don't own many regular woman clothes.  Most of my feminine attire is undergarments--stockings, garters, panties.  I personally would like to be a bit thinner before I attempt to buy women's outerwear for myself and I guess that's what I'm waiting for.  In the meantime, I spend a lot of time browsing malls and small stores for things that I like and to help get over the apprehension behind being a male and presenting as such and sifting through the women's department. 

That sort of thing used to bother me but not so much anymore.  I figure at the very least I'm giving the sales associates yet another crossdresser story to tell in the breakroom.  I came to realize that it's ridiculous to think that if you're a crossdresser you're the first of your kind to browse the lingerie department at Dillard's.  You are not Marco Polo.  Guys have bought things there for themselves many times before and it will happen again.  My best advice?  Stand your ground, be confident, and don't give a damn what anyone else thinks of you being there.  The sales people don't care--you're buying stuff.  Other customers should just mind their own business but occasionally don't.  If anyone comments, keep your head up, say something back if you feel it's necessary and go about your day.

Nowadays I go sifting through panty bins and whatnot all the time.  If someone doesn't like it, they can deal with it.  My next adventure?  I'm hitting the makeup counter at Macy's and letting some lucky person go to town.  And I encourage curious CDers out there to do the same.  My sister sells makeup and it makes her day to have a male to work on.  So get over the anxiety.  Usually at the very worst, you'll end up as a topic of conversation for the sales people at break time.  At the very best, you'll walk out feeling better about yourself and how people view you.

Wow.  That little story kind of got derailed.  Apologies.  I'll stick to the script next time.

Det straffa seg hardt å ha forsøkt å bli kvinne. Det betydde at jeg ikke fortjente å få være mann, og i ytterste konsekvens derfor ikke fortjener å være til. Foreløpig klamrer jeg meg fast likevel. I dag snakka jeg med ei venninne av ei som ikke klarte det. De er mange. Hvis noen skal orke denne kampen må det være meg. Og hvem skal skrive bøkene mine hvis jeg dør?

I morra går fristen ut for Rikshospitalet til å uttale seg om klagene mine, etter at Helstilsynet måtte purre på dem. Hvor mange ganger vil Helsetilsynet gidde å purre på dem?

 'Put a stethoscope on,

You'll notice the beat is gone,

All that's left is hesitations from your previous life.'

- architecture in helsinki- 'need to shout'

i cannot explain how that gets to me.

i havent updated this thing cos ive really had nothing to say. or..maybe i have had a lot to say, but the words have escaped me.

tomorrow i am making a shitload of cupcakes and then were going to sell them at a rave or something. i dont know. i just bake them. the selling and marketing of all this is done by other people. i hope it goes over well. weve made some small cards to hand out. i reeeeeally hope it picks up cos this is something ive wanted to do for a really long time. it also makes me feel like i have purpose in my life. so we will start out with just doing deliveries of cupcakes. if it picks up then ill start doing cakes and other sweets and such. im excited.

i should be getting the decision for my residence permit in december. i hope they say yes. i am trying to get some money to save so i can have surgery. i really want to go to this doctor back in america. hes cheap, hes good, and hes trans friendly. sounds like a male prostitute or something. haha. i need to email the office and see what all i need to do as far as living in a different country and all. i mean, they may not do it if i dont live in the u.s. even though i am a u.s. citizen. i am just very scared to email him. my fear of rejection is overwhelming. i mean, i get really terrible anxiety about it. i know i should just say fuck it and get it over with and find out the steps i need to take, but every time i try to think about what to say in an email, i get all panicky and sweaty. its fucking ridiculous! maybe i just need to write and re-write it on paper and then email it. that would probably work better. sometimes my brain takes a long time to catch on to logic and things. haha.

i would really like to see my mom if i go back to america. my problem is...i dont know if she will want to see me. i would of course be seeing her after i have surgery. i know that one of her main issues with my transition is me having top surgery and the other being my name change. i dont know how to go about asking her. let me take this time to write a letter to her. feel free to skip this part....

mom,

i know you hate these kind of emails. i am not trying to start an argument or reopen any old wounds that you have about this subject. i just need an honest answer and the only way i am going to get that is to go to the source. right now i am trying to get up enough money to come back to america to have surgery. now, i know this is something that hurts you and that is not my intention in writing this email to you. besides not knowing what significance my breast have to you, they serve no purpose to me and they are ruining my life. please be aware that i would have this surgery even if i were female identified. i would really like to see you if i am able to come back for a few weeks. under the circumstances, i dont know if you would still want to see me. i know you said that i am your kid and you will always love me, but that does not mean you would be able to witness my transition in its entirety. this surgery will be my last step in this physical transition aside from being on testosterone the rest of my life. i am only being open and honest with you cos it would be dumb of me to try and make up a lie about why i was in america. i thought about making something up. i thought about saying that maybe my wife was having surgery and opted for an american doctor instead of one from her own country. i thought about making up some horrible story about a friend of mine losing someone close or some crap like that. but you know what? i have learned my lesson with lying. it gets you nowhere. and why would i lie to you? i have been open and honest with you about my life so i see no need to try and hide things. i would be coming to see you after i have my surgery and i want to know if you would be okay with that. i want to know if you will be able to handle it. i dont want to just show up and be like, 'hey ma! i just got my tits cut off! gimme a hugggg!'. i am trying to be an adult about this instead of throwing a fit and freaking out cos my mom cant accept me for being true to myself and being happy. my only issue is, i dont know what to tell the rest of the family. well, the grandparents to be more specific. i will probably have facial hair and no chest and my voice will be noticeably deeper. at times i feel like i would just like to tell them. i dont want to keep secrets. i know you want to cos youre worried about what people will think of you or think you were a bad parent cos i turned out so strange. but please let me assure you, as i always do, that you are one of the greatest mothers that has ever lived and i would never say otherwise about you. i do get frustrated with you, but im sure it doesnt compare to the times you have been frustrated with me. so lets call it even. would you like to prepare the family for my return or would you like me to just out myself to them? or how can i do that? i dont want to have to keep my wife a secret. i am proud of her and us and to be married to such a wonderful and supportive person. i dont feel i should have to hide that just cos other people may feel ashamed. im not. i am sorry this letter is getting all off topic, but i always have to hold this subject in when i am talking to you. it just starts to build up and i have so much to say. so, in short, can i come see you while i am in america? 

also, my name will be changed by that time as well most likely. i, as well, wanted to ask you if you would prefer that i change my last name. i am not asking this cos i want to change it and disown my family. i have no issue with my last name. i am only asking out of respect. if you wish for this entire transition not to be associated with our family then i can deal with that. i just need to know if you would like me to change my name or if you dont really care. i know this also hurts you, but these are things that are happening in my life and i would like to get at least a little feed back. i mean, i am in a different country and i think that is what it has taken in order for me to stand up for myself and my life. 

i love you, mom. please dont ever question or forget that.

-b*

ok. glad i got that out of my system. not like she will ever read it, but it always helps for me to write things like they are going to read them.

i should be sleeping. we are going to the flea market tomorrow to look for halloween goodies. then i have to come home and make a shitload of cupcakes. ha. we are going as rocky horror characters. i am sooooo excited...and nervous.

i will try to actually keep up with this damn thing.

“La que puede puede, y la que no, aplaude…o se TULLE de la ira”, le dijo a todo grito con voz chillona impostada y un ademán típico de la lúdica de las locas[1], la Jóse a la Oscar mientras discutían -parecía una pelea pero en realidad era el lenguaje y la expresión de su cotidianidad-, quien de las dos iría de primera en el espectáculo musical que preparaban para presentar en su barrio, en una de las comunas populares de Medellín.El grupo de jóvenes vecinos, con diferencias en extremo marcadas en sus ropas y sus pintas corporales, desde el pésimo gusto hasta la exquisitez de la prenda bien puesta, se sentían todas divas, acolitadas por ellas mismas. Gays, transformistas y travestis y aspirantes a transexuales, eran a ojos de todos y de ellos una misma cosa: el combo de locas del barrio que se divertían cada fin de semana jugando a ser y pertenecer.Saliéndose del esquema de reinados, pues todas se sentían ya reinas coronadas, habían decidido juntar plata para presentarle al barrio un show para exaltar a esas artistas famosas con las que se han divertido y sueñan, y a las que imitan, desde que se empezaron a encontrar con su identidad de maricas en la casa o en los corrillos de amigos.
La José es la más vivida. A sus 17 años, ya tiene rellenos caseros y peligrosos de aceite en su trasero que la hacen ver más voluptuosa y se ha atrevido incluso a putiar, aunque tímidamente, en la zona del centro. Por eso fue la encargada de recolectar el dinero, de buscar apoyos externos y por supuesto de especificar los gastos. Un activista les recomendó que salieran de sus guetos y llenaran de contenido social su trabajo artístico cotidiano, que lo volvieran un espacio social, en el que recuperar y resignificar la noche y en ella a la maricada por fuera de lo clandestino y peligroso.
La idea les había calado y entre los benefactores lograron un aporte del Municipio, quien lo condiciono a cumplir con algunos requerimientos legales mínimos para este tipo de actividades. Todo fluyo bien, ya tenían tarima y sonido reglamentarios. Pero faltaba solo un detalle “cancelación de los respectivos derechos de autor por las ejecuciones musicales en vivo o fonograbadas” para lo que la Jóse se dirigió a Sayco y Acimpro. La decepción no pudo ser mayor. La voz prepotente de una abogada en Sayco le dijo al otro lado de la linea:
-y cuanto van a cobrar.-nada, dijo la Jóse, antes nos toco poner plata de nuestro bolsillo.- Y para cuanta gente será el espectáculo.
-Ojala para muchos, pero creo que en una calle del barrio no se juntes más de cincuenta…bueno de pronto cien, ojalá.
La abogada termino con una tajante y fría sentencia. Nos debes consignar la tarifa minima que es de medio millón de pesos, por tratarse de un evento de baja convocatoria y sin animo de lucro.

“Ni putiando todas el resto de nuestras vidas, veremos ese montón de plata junta” expresaron al coro y con las manos extendidas sobre el pecho en la teatralidad típica de su identidad, cuando la Jóse les compartió la noticia.
Una a una fueron desfilando con sus trajes prestados o ajustados a mano. Volvieron a sus guetos. “eso de ser social y legal es demasiado costoso” dijo la Juan, la mas polla de todas, “Y además peligroso” gritaron al unísono con su voz chillona, cuando a la Carlos, que se le había quedado un sombrero de plumas en cima de la tarima, se disponía a recogerlo, completando con la frase: “¡Marica!, cuidado se sube a la tarima que los de Sayco la bajan porque la bajan”

. Medellín, octubre de 2008.

Despite the 'long' history of modern anime and manga, the idea of messing around with gender has not been discussed much in works except as comic relief. As early as in the 80's works such as Doraemon have explored the idea through magical machinery and technological remaking of the physical body. Even to this day, there are works that give the writers' interpretation of body, spirit, and gender via tales of 'switching brains' with outlandish events, machinery, and magical interference. Examples of such translated into English include Pretty Face and Gacha Gacha (available in English via Del Ray Comics, not to be confused with the comic of similar name by Tokyopop). It is important to note that these early works mostly portray the instances of trans*ness with much slapstick humour, mostly on the quirks of not adapting to (Japanese) gender conformities. It does not give much serious discussion on the social stigma of LGBT issues.

The most obvious of which is a series named Kasimasi ~Girl meets Girl~ (Serialized 2004-07) where the (originally biologically) male protagonist (with obvious female tendencies and behaviour) is transformed by extraterrestrial technology into a girl (the story notes that the UFO crashed, killing him by mistake, and a new genetically female body was created), and the story discusses on the love-triangle between her childhood friend and a crush with a terrible case of misandry. The key point is in the lack/avoidance of discussing the protagonist in reintegrating into society as a female, by skimming over it with a plot device of "remade into a genetically female". As for the lesbian romantic relationship/conflicts that consists of the body of this work is not in the scope of this article.

There are, however, less well known works that deal with gender displacements, oddities and obvious trans issues. In fact, there are dedicated mangaka who have given deep thought and research into the subject and portray the issue in a serious yet readable light. Below are four recommendations of must-reads for the curious manga reader (although it is suggested that you know Japanese or another Asian language - most of the time not even fan scanlations are available):

Shoujo Shounen (Vol.1-7, with 1 extra), by Yabuuchi Yuu (Vol.1 Available via http://akatsuki.chupatz.com/)
This series revolves around a common theme of boys in talent agencies, publicized as female idols, and a coworking talent befriends/becomes entangled in a relationship by exposing him. However, as we explore further, we find that each of these boys have a feminine side yearning to come out, but also conflicting with a male reality and role...
Yabuuchi Yuu is an author who established her name in writing works for younger (usually female) readers on the topic of puberty and sexuality. Other works include "Tsubomi's Secret (Naisho no Tsubomi, also available by same scanlator)".

IS ~Otoko demo Onna demo nai sei~(Vol.1-13, ongoing), by Rokuhana Chiyo (Scanlations available by JanimeS to Vol.8, cover art not hotlinked)
This series is a serious exploration via a separate anecdote per volume (roughly) about intersexed people living in a Japanese society, and face challenges in every aspect of life you can think of - work, love, life...and their troubles on the inability to reproduce.

Ritchan (1 volume), by Mari Yoshino (No scanlations known, available in JP/ZH-TW)
A romantic comedy by classical definition! We are introduced to the main protagonists in the world of nightclubs, when much to the surprise of the (female) lead, her coworker (as nicknamed as book title, actual name is Ririka) is a (pre-op) trans-woman! She was immediately fired after the hostess club finds out, but continues to date and try to get a boyfriend (although to futile ends). By circumstance relationships between the two grew close, and had one instance of sexual intercourse...which led to an unexpected turn and leads to Ritchan giving up the idea of receiving an SRS and marrying the lead. However, she continues to present herself as female even after marriage, and the 'epilogue' depicts their daughter writing about how happy she is to 'be with two mothers'. A bit on the idealistic side? Perhaps, but a truthful depiction of pre-op transpeople in a modern East Asian context.

Hourou Musuko (JP Vol.1-8 ongoing, TW Vol.1-4), by Shimura Takako. Scanlations in English available by Kotonoha Fansubs
Translated into English as "The Transient Son", this manga is a MUST-recommend for the subject of exploring the uncertainties of trans-ness in the mundane aspects of life and growing up. The story begins with two protagonists, both in Gr.5: Nitori Syuuichi (Cute boy who wishes to become female), and Takatsuki Yosino (Cool girl who wishes to become male). While each event unfolding may seem casual or even slow, the degree of portrayal to the perceptions of a-day-in-life of a MtF/FtM transperson is very real - they are shown as people, with concerns with school, friends, life, and love, just like anyone else. Just that they have one more trouble compared to most others, and occasionally this trouble breaks out of repression, demanding the world around the two to perceive them in a different way...a must read. If you don't have time to read anything else, try this, FIRST.

I've been avoiding public restrooms for several months. I started getting stared at in the ladies' last year, even though I didn't identify as trans yet. I found it funny at first, then annoying, but I felt I had a "right" to be in there; if anyone asked, I just said "I'm a girl" and stuck my chest out to prove it.

Now, I feel personally uncomfortable in the women's: I really don't want to say "I'm a girl" (I'm a boy!), plus I feel I'm invading women's space. But I still go there:

--if I'm not "passing" well as a dude

--if I might run into someone I know (like at school, where people think I'm a girl)

--if I'm with my friends-who-are-girls.

Actually, I've only gone to the men's room twice, both times at fast-food restaurants. The first time, it was empty, so I got to look around; the walls looked dirtier, but the rest was pretty much the same as the ladies' -- oh yeah, except for the urinal.

The second time was kinda funny. I went in and nearly bumped into the guys, it was so full. I was completely disoriented -- there were lavatories, and there was a wall, so where was the rest? I peeked around the wall and, oops, I was looking at the backs of peeing dudes, therefore breaking Rule #1 of male-bathroomhood. I also found the stalls behind that wall, but they seemed to be occupied.

Since it was my lucky day, a restaurant employee happened to be in the room, and he asked me if I was waiting for a urinal. Uh-oh! My voice is too high to pass! I think I grunted and pointed at the stalls, and he showed me an empty one. Luckily, my feet weren't visible from outside the stall, so I didn't have to worry about my feet pointing the wrong way.

I've changed so much --physically-- in the past week: I cut my hair (yay!) and I started binding (yay!). I don't think I'll be allowed in the women's room anymore. But the men's room is fine for me.

-------------------------------------------------------------

PS: I love the short documentary Wrong Bathroom about this exact issue.

* I know, lots of queers do consider themselves men or women (although even these people may get harassed in men's/women's rooms).

Egentligen trivs jag ganska bra som kvinna iaf rent kroppsligt, men jag tror att jag skulle trivas minst lika bra som man, kanske inte om jag blev det hux flux, nu när jag vant mig vid att vara kvinna, dessutom skulle nog pojkvännen bli lite bekymmrad, men om jag fötts som man och inte vetat om annat hade jag känt mig som en kvinna i en mans kropp då? Jag tror inte det, det är nog därför jag har så svårt att förstå mig på transexuella, jag har inte särskillt stark könsidentitet. Hade jag vaknat upp som kille imorgon hade jag antagligen börjat klä mig så som jag tycker att det är snygt när killar klär sig, i mörka jeans och snygga t-shirtar . Hetronormativa jag fyfy!

I think I’m crazy but I love women.

Country & city: Cape Town, South Africa

Name/nickname: Charl Marais (Charmd)

Age: 50 (soon)

Gender: Male

What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered)? First as Lesbian, but when I understood more I realized I was Transgendered and went into stealth mode.

How old were you when you first realized your identity? Very young

How old were you when you first told someone? Seventeen

Did you plan it? If so, how? No

What made you choose that person to tell? She was a Rape Crisis Counsellor

Can you remember exactly what you said? I think I’m crazy but I love women.

How did you feel? Embarrassed

What was the person’s reaction? She said she knew that

What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? Great

What’s it like now? Non-existent. She left the country some years ago and we lost touch

Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:

Job: In stealth but my boss knows. He has to; he’s family

Family: All know, but not all accept

Friends: Lost touch with friends who knew me before.

What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? I thought it was wrong according to the way I grew up – very religious etc.

What does the concept of the closet mean to you? Safety

What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? Choose the time, place and audience well.

If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? Not really. I probably would not have outed myself to so many people before going stealth.

For a long time I thought drag relied upon the body: ‘sex’, ‘opposition’. But now I think that’s not it at all. That’s precisely what it’s not about. Drag says ‘who cares what’s under the clothes, I look fucking fantastic and you know it!’

Drag works by highlighting the performativity of gender; drawing attention to its ‘unnaturalness’. But whether there’s a female, male, intersexed or trans body underneath, well that’s just not the point.

That a male infant will become a masculine (heterosexual) man is the only trajectory offered by dominant Western ideas on gender. But drag works to break down this assumption, showing us that gender is what we do (and how we look). 

Drag can both subvert gender stereotypes and reinforce them: it inherently calls into question what makes a man and a woman, but in practice provides only the opportunity to destabilise these ideas. Whether or not gender conventions are in fact disrupted is dependent upon the performer, and indeed the audience. It is judgements by individuals that uphold cultural norms; whether a person is transcending (or reinforcing) expectations of gender depends on the interpretation of the audience. Thus, it makes sense to look at individual drag artists and performers to see if (and how) they subvert or reinforce gender stereotypes.

Gender theorist Kate Bornstein suggests ‘It doesn't really matter what a person decides to do, or how radically a person plays with gender. What matters, I think, is how aware a person is of the options. How sad for a person to be missing out on some expression of identity, just for not knowing there are options.’ 

Heterosexist culture dictates that we must be simply and exclusively either a masculine male man or a feminine female woman. Drag kings and queens, as well as intersexed people, transsexuals, cross dressers, gender benders and other transgendered people, subvert this expectation that gender is (and can ever be) singular or stable. And drag is not limited to a ‘cross-gender’ presentation: queer femmes and male drag kings can say as much about society’s uptight gender philosophies as any male bodied drag queen.

In The Drag King Book, J. Jack Halberstam asks ‘To what degree is the Drag King, like the drag queen, both a revered image of queerness and an image associated with shame?’ And that, really, is still the question. What does it say about ‘us’, about our internalised queerphobia, perhaps, that so many of ‘us’ despise the character in drag?

Most of all drag is about pride. Drag artists scream out a kind of queer pride no once-a-year festival could compete with. And we, the introverted voyeurs, can take vicarious pride in their performance when we lack the balls ourselves to be on stage.

• Puttane che scopano con fucili (si inizia alla grande!)
• Il posto del cazzo (la fica?)
• Transessuali che si inculano di sborro (...cioè?)
• Putane che fano seso (idiosincrasia nei confronti delle doppie)
• Racconti oggetti nel culo
• Bere la propria sborra (perché sei curioso?)
• www foto oggetti nel culo a puttane (ti prego, fatti vivo: sei un genio)
• Puttane dalla testa ai piedi (un marchio, tipo d.o.c. per i vini)
• Estrarre sborra da uomo (è un complicato processo che può portare via anni, specie considerando l'innumerevole quantità di reperti storici che si trovano durante gli scavi)
• A quanto sborra Peter North (in km/h?)
• Perché i calci nei coglioni fanno male (vorrei saperlo anch'io)
• Due donne che fanno sesso con la merda (ma la merda sarebbe il terzo soggetto di questa improbabile orgia?)
• Masturbarsi in auto nella figa (cioè? Masturbarsi in un'auto inserita a sua volta in una fica?)
• Donne altissime vogliono fottere (quelle basse, invece? No?)
• Video maiale masturbato (guardati allo specchio, è gratis)
• Culo di sborra (un culo fatto di sborra)
• Video masturbazioni folli (a testa in giù, appesi al lampadario, ecc.)
• Donne che si fanno inculare con le mani ("Con le mani inculi... altre donne")
• Uomo sborra piede maschile (ho visto gente vomitare sui piedi di altre persone, ma sborrarci mai)
• Un'oca vestita da prete (?!)
• Video di ragazze che se la fanno inculare (...cosa?)
• Come fottere una macchina delle sigarette (rubarla o scoparsela?)
• I Marlene Kuntz mi fanno cagare (anche a me)
• Culi con peli biondi anali (magico)
• Dal culo si sborra (non credo)
• Ma se si sbora succede qualcosa? (prova, non è pericoloso... poi fammi sapere)
• Vip mangia sborra (sarebbe un'ottima pubblicità)
• Porno handicap (non pensavo si potesse giungere a questo)
• Foto che fanno sborrare (non credo funzioni la foto in sé: ti servirà un aiutino)
• Come masturbare un uomo tutorial (sempreverde)
• Video uomo che incula cane maschio
• Mentre mi incula mi sego (aiuto! Ma che cosa ti seghi?)
• Come fare per sborrare molto (masturbarsi meno)
• Come bere la sborra (uno spruzzo di Cointreau, due/tre cubetti di ghiaccio, uno spicchio di lime. Servire con noccioline o pistacchi)
• Ananas sborra (libere associazioni)
• Come fare per riprodurre sborra (ci sono molti studi a riguardo)
• Sborrate alla Italiana (con pomodoro, mozzarella e basilico)
• Buco bocchino non vedi donna (?)
• Antonia incula la cugina (mi sa che ti confondi...)
• Racconti di culi farciti
• Come fatto lo sborro
• Come fo se mi piace la sborra (non è un dramma, credimi)
• Sborra nel calcio video (prova a contattare Cristiano Ronaldo)
• Imparare a fare la mignotta (dicono sia il mestiere più antico del mondo, non dovrebbe essere difficile)
• La puttana più alta a Roma (hai provato al Pincio?)
• Come fare sborrare tanto il cazzo (giusto: far sborrare tanto qualcos'altro è più complesso)
• Mi masturbo e non sborro perché? (forse non hai ancora sviluppato)
• Trasformare la Novalgina in cocaina (ovvero: il piccolo chimico... tossico)
• Piedi in fica (aiuto)
• Vecchie che puzzano di piscio che scopano (e come fai a sentire la puzza?)
• YouTube donne che pisciano per strada (che c'è di eccitante?)
• Video cazzi nella fessa fre fatti inculare (ti sei capito?)
• Cos'è Alitalia? (forse sei rimasto un po' indietro)
• Bere sborra fa bene (sono anni che cerco di convincere le donne di questa cosa)
• Le donne mi fanno sborrare (anche a me)
• Donna incula uomo (devi essere un po' confuso)
• Inculare una donna che rischi ci sono (che ti rimanga incastrato)
• La sborra colava sulla barba (modo elegante per descrivere un amplesso omosessuale)
• Puttana scopa con dieci uomini (e la mado')
• Inculare non è come scopare (davvero?)
• Come piace la sborra (un pizzico di sale e un po' di rosmarino, vedi sopra, thanks)
• Donne con culo rotto WikiPedia
• I trans fanno bocchini migliori? (certo!, perché sanno con cosa hanno a che fare!)
• Mondo sborra (nuova rubrica del Tg5)
• Ragazzo si sborra nella propria bocca
• Sito di mare di sborra (maredisborra.it)
• Cazzi che fottono altri cazzi (e dove? Nel foro del glande?)

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Jeg tror det var mens jeg gikk på folkehøgskole på Finnsnes (Heimly RIP) at jeg første gang hørte begrepet "syk mann". I likhet med "kjerring" er det tilsynelatende et kjønnsbestemt ord, men kan likevel brukes om mennesker av alle kjønn.

Ingen er så syk som en "syk mann". Hin er døden nær av forkjølelse og krever konstant oppvartning. Dessuten syter og klager hin hele tiden.

Jeg er selvsagt en syk mann. Og dette er derfor et syte-innlegg om hvor fælt jeg har det akkurat nå.

• magen gjør vondt
• jeg har vondt i halsen og klarer ikke å svelge
• snørret som produseres ustoppelig
• det føles som om jeg har feber; jeg svetter og fryser med sekunders mellomrom og uten logisk forklaring. Likevel viser termometeret at jeg ikke har feber.
• og som om ikke det var nok blør jeg fra steder jeg helst vil unngå å kjennes ved.

Hva er verre enn en syk mann som er døden nær av forkjølelse? En som i tillegg har menstruasjon.

Som om ikke det var nok skulle jeg vært på jobb om seks timer. Det begynner å gå opp for meg at det bare ikke er fysisk mulig. Jeg har ikke råd til å være syk! Tilkallingsvikarer har null rettigheter.

Det frister voldsomt med en DIY-hysterektomi, men jeg vet ikke helt hvordan jeg skulle gjøre det. Heklenål? Støvsuger? E.E. mener jeg ikke har håp om noen operasjoner før GID-klinikken blir mer medgjørlig. Det vil si omtrent samtidig som griser begynner å fly. (Nei, jeg er ikke i det optimistiske hjørnet i natt.) Så kanskje jeg må finne fram støvsugeren og gjøre et forsøk?

deci: trans, ghé, ambele?

Visita il link: WWW.ALICETRANS.IT

Pisa trans Pisa Annunci Trans Pisa Incontri

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Jeg stod i pøsregnet utafor bygget der gynekologen holder til og kjente meg skuffa. Innerst inne hadde jeg håpa at han ville ta en rask kikk på innmaten min og si noe sånt som "auda, dette må vi snarest få ut". Men, nei. Ikke denne gangen. Alt så i følge ham ut som det skal. Vel, ikke i følge meg!

Går jeg lenge nok på testosteron uten å få operert ut livmor og eggstokker er det ganske sannsynlig at jeg vil utvikle kreft. Da vil jeg i alle fall bli kvitt uhumskhetene. Skal det være nødvendig å utvikle kreft for å få den behandlinga jeg skal ha?

Forøvrig var gynekologen forståelig nok nysgjerrig, og hyggelig.